Woodchipper Massacre

You'd think with a name like 'Woodchipper Massacre', you were in for some really cheap video nasty. Well, it is cheap, but I don't know about how nasty it is. There's about as much sadism and gore in the film as there was in Weekend at Bernie's..

I somewhat get the feeling that the title was foisted by the distribution company who released this thing on VHS..

It ended up reminding me more of something John Hughes would have made if he'd only had a budget of 400 dollars, could only get amateur actors, and had decided on a somewhat darker plot than in the films he did become famous for making. It's three kids, each a funny kid stereotype, whose parents aren't around that week, finding themselves committing woodchipper misdeeds.

And despite the amateurish execution, it's all pretty fun and funny.

Jon McBride may not have money, but damn can he make an entertaining film! WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE is a lot of fun! This film is full of hilarious dialogue and characters. It's one of the most macabre and original premises for a film I can think of. This isn't exactly a horror film. It isn't exactly anything, though I suppose some may describe it as a black comedy.

It's pretty much about these kids whose relative comes over to take care of them. She turns out to be rather cruel to them and they end up accidentally murdering her, and they have to dispose of her body in the woodchipper. Afterward, a related family member of her shows up and the craziness really picks up! Keep in mind that this is not a good film by any means. It's poorly acted, poorly lit, and very poorly shot. However, it is also self-conscience of all this and, rather then drift into camp territory, it goes all the way. This may be bad, but at least it's good natured and at least it's funny. It's also never boring. If you want to watch a really entertaining film, I recommend you check this out!

"Woodchipper Massacre" is a classic example of a movie where one will be conditioned to expect certain things given the title, and director Jon McBrides' track record. But it's not an over the top splatterfest with a high body count. McBride, approaching the material like a sitcom, instead makes it a nearly bloodless dark comedy.

Three children: Jon (played by the writer / director), Denice (Denice Edeal), and Tom (Tom Casiello) have their Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride) forced on them when their dad (Perren Page) goes out of town on a business trip. She's a grumpy, moralizing holier than thou type, and is pretty insufferable. When she accidentally dies, the kids realize that the means of covering their asses is within reach...

It's understandable if you initially feel frustrated with this one, and think you were suckered in by false advertising. But if you are able to finally appreciate the movie for what it is, and not fret over what it isn't, it does provide some fairly amusing entertainment. The filmmaking is actually not that bad for a micro budget "shot on video" effort, although the music score is so godawful that it's a gas. The performances are hilariously absurd, although these characters do grow on you after a while. The scenario eventually turns into a time honored "beat the clock" sort of deal, as you wonder if the kids will be able to cover up their assorted crimes before Dad can return home early from his trip.

Decent entertainment with some blackly humorous moments.

Six out of 10.

I love retro 80's shockers that were shot on video. This falls into this category. Extremely cheap with horrible direction and even worse acting, with an outrageous plot, this is a very entertaining bad movie fun fest. The main problem for me with this movie was every actor has a very annoying voice...especially that girl, she is always whining. If you can get passed their annoying voices, you'll laugh your butt off. Although, don't expect much gore...it is not a horror movie, really ,but more of a comedy. The movie is about some kids who are alone for the weekend, well, not alone, they have their babysitting annoying aunt watching them. When their aunt dies in a complete "accident" they must dispose of the body in any wayy possible, in the most original disposing of a body ever, that even CSI won't touch! Also, one of the best taglines ever...Watch this if you want to see a realllly bad movie.

Oh my god!! I'm a firm believer that bad movies can be good fun, but this is awful. The Woodchipper Massacre brings the horror film to a new low. There is not a doubt in my mind that this is one of the worst pieces of crap ever filmed. The acting, the music, the sweaters...I can't even describe it. It's obvious that it's just a couple of kids messing around with a home video recorder and thought they'd make a movie. I don't think you can really call it a movie though. The Woodchipper Massacre is a disgrace to B-movies everywhere. It's easily worse than Bloody Murder, and that's saying a lot. How this got distributed I'll never know. This is a major candidate for the title "worst movie ever made." It definitely gets my seal of approval.