- China: Can't a girl get laid around here without being burned at the stake?
- Mark Loftmore: [with an unlit cigarette in his mouth] Anybody got a match?
- China: I do what I want when I want. Dig it or fuck off.
- [first lines]
- Mrs. Loftmore: Darling.
- Mark Loftmore: Hmm?
- Mrs. Loftmore: I hear you were having drinks with the butler the other night. Now, you know that sort of thing leads to anarchy.
- Mark Loftmore: One last thing before you kill us Lincoln!
- Mr. Lincoln: You know my name?
- Mark Loftmore: I should. You murdered my grandfather!
- Mr. Lincoln: You're a Loftmore! Old horror lord's grandchild. Well, well, well, what a coincidence. It's such a small world!
- Mark Loftmore: Well, then why do you want to end it?
- Mr. Lincoln: Somebody has to.
- Gemma: What's happening tonight, guys?
- Tony: Nothing. I gave up drinking.
- Sarah Brightman: The third time this month?
- [Mark is threatened by an armed French guard]
- Mark Loftmore: I'm sorry, I was never very good at languages.
- Mark Loftmore: [reading the first bit of the essay he had his maid write for him on 'Dictators'] 'The Trouble with Dictators'. I think dictators are the bad people. They have the shouting voices, and the small moustaches.
- [sighs]