- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: Well, there they be, son. Jonah and Jonah, Jr. They're so old, they can't remember who's pappy and who's the son. They're weird and full of superstition. Burying a dead animal on their land can cause the cows to give bloody milk... or bring on a swarm of locusts.
- [Perry and April are fighting in a motel parking lot with all the motel guests looking on]
- April: I don't even know you, yet you just come inside my house, uninvited, and take my life away!
- Perry: Maybe you don't know it, but you did invite me!
- April: Oh, go to hell!
- Perry: Oh, sweetheart!
- April: Oh, fuck you!
- Perry: Princess!
- April: Cocksucker!
- Perry: Sugar!
- April: Motherfucker!
- Perry: Sweetpea!
- April: Bastard!
- Perry: Be careful what you say because people around here might think we love each other.
- April: You can rot in hell for all I care!
- Perry: You're sexy when you're angry.
- April: You bastard!
- Perry: You already said that!
- [while driving recklessly on the road at night]
- Patti Jean: I swear to God, I can't stand them when they get drunk, and belive me I have learned that you do not want to mess with them when they get that way. You just gotta ride it out until it passes. Besides, if they ain't drunk, they're just dull as hell. I'm glad you came along, cause he was staring to drive me crazy. Hey, you got a cigarette? I left my pack back in my purse back there at the carnival.
- April: I don't smoke.
- Patti Jean: God, I wish I had your discipline. I tried to quit smoking once but I thought, "what the fuck? I'm just gonna die sooner or later anyway." Is your name April? I knew it. You're the one about to be married. Perry told me all about you when we first met this afternoon. I'm Patti Jean. Say, did that son of a bitch make you take an AIDS test before he fucked you? Didn't think so. He said it wasn't cause he's afraid of dying. He just didn't want to be spreading the disease on down the line. Personally, if you ask me, I think he didn't want to die havin' people think he was gay. Cause he's pretty enough to give people that impression. It kind of humiliated me. You wanna talk about humiliation? I know this girl who flies with Savannah, and she told me that when people die on airplanes, what they do is lock 'em in the fucking bathroom before they land. Now I ask you, if that ain't the ultimate humiliation, what is? Ending up your life on a toilet seat, 35,000 feet in the air.
- Patti Jean: So, what color's your living room?
- April: White. But it's not my house, its my parents.
- Patti Jean: Is your bedroom white too?
- April: It's beige with floral print.
- Patti Jean: My whole place down in Texas is wood panel. Never lived in anything but. Except when I lived in Vegas. I was married to my second husband, he was this guy in the Air Force. They put us up at this high-rise condo at Indian Springs that was great. A prefab with a balcony.
- Perry: The lady's got a secret, don't you? I ain't got no secrets. I ain't got nothing. Except a bike, a truck, and post office box in Clearwater, Florida.
- Belle Delongpre: The Delongpre family can claim three governors, two United States senators, three electives of the House of Representatives, a Supreme Court justice, and an ambassador to Chile. And at our table we've had the likes of General Patton, Presidents Woodrow Wilson, Jimmy Carter, Lyndon Johnson, the actress Tallulah Bankhead, and Truman Capote... and that film star Grace Kelly before she married her prince... and Betty Ford after her rehabilitation.
- Perry: [to the motel guests after his argument with April] Sorry for the disturbance folks, but that is one special wacko chick.
- [Sheriff Earl Hawkins is seen fishing beside a pond with his deputy when his police mobile phone rings]
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: [answering] Hello? Sheriff Hawkins.
- Belle Delongpre: Earl, it's me.
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: Belle! How are you? It's been a long time.
- Belle Delongpre: Earl, I need you to do a favor for me. It's about April...
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: I'll keep an eye on her. Don't worry. Oh and Belle, save me a dance at that wedding.
- [hangs up]
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: So, where do you hail from, son?
- Perry: East.
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: Anywhere near Cambridge, Massachusetts?
- Perry: No, sir. Never been there.
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: My grandson is going up there this fall to Harvard Law School.
- Perry: [cynical] Wish him luck.
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: We're talking about $32,000 per year for tuition, room and board. But it ain't gonna cost me a penny, no siree. Because around here, thank the Lord, because we have people around here who support outstanding achivement. By the way, you know who Little Richard is?
- Perry: Sure.
- Sheriff Earl Hawkins: I remember that he used to ride around here in his Cadillac always blazing hell. It got so bad that the local judge had to throw his black ass out of this county and told him never to come back. What I am trying to say son is that not much goes on around this here county that I don't know about.
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