Return from the River Kwai

This World War 2 drama do not succeed in almost anything.The story is set in 1945, Americans and English are situated as prisoners at a Japanese POW camp at the river Kwai in Thailand. They are ordered to transfer to Japan. Can they escape before they reach Japan?

Edward Fox is good as usual and so are many of the supporting actors but this is no use when Christopher Penn massacre the movie with real bad acting. The manuscript is full with flaws and most of the Japanese soldiers are pictured as stereotype as usual. Some parts is amusing or exciting but not enough to help this film. I cannot recommend it at all.

If the old guard and war purists thought the epic Guiness-Holden-Hawkins war film was unreal, they'd reconsider that film as being totally credible when compared to this.

One wouldn't think that a film made in 1989 would be devoid of realism in war. The seventies preached "realism", though refused to deliver it, instead trying to con audiences with tawdry, depressing scenes just to be under budget, then claim it was "realism". Nope, Then the eighties came, and producers couldn't get away from the heckling of the literate public, who saw through their con jobs.

However, "Reality" in war was still preached, only now not as contrived for bullets to find only likable characters.

Which makes this Mickey Mouse adventure a puzzle, and makes it even more embarrassing. By 1989, I guarantee you that three out of four people knew the POWs in Japanese camps were beyond malnutrition, and incapable of swinging an axe, let alone taking a knife and thrusting it into guard.

Overcoming Japanese soldiers is so rampant here, that it borders on comedy. True, in "Bataan" American soldiers led by Robert Taylor made a mockery of the enemy, but old timers form the era told me that it wasn't far off the truth, because American soldiers were nourished and strong, and of the Japanese, only the leading Samurai got more than a handful of rice a day. The Japanese soldier was weak from severe hunger.

However, while the soldier was weak from hunger, and mean from hunger, he wasn't in the horrid condition the POW was in.

This movie has POWs that make the POWs in Lean's epic look like skin and bones.

That said, a movie can still be "watchable". This one is slightly "watchable", but don't expect much. In the end, it's pretty much a waste of time, but it doesn't leave you depressed. Just look at it as Bugs Bunny outwitting Elmer Fudd again, or Mickey Mouse squeaking along at the river Kwai.

A very average little war movie with no relation to the original "Bridge on the River Kwai" other than in name and a brief bit at the start. It's just a pure latter-day cash-in on the name of the original in fact.

The cinematography is decent and the colours are very good. A few sparklies are evident in the very dark scenes but with a decent sound free from any unwanted hiss or crackle the overall quality is pretty good.

As a bonus I found a few nice pseudo-surround effects using my Yamaha digital sound projector so I can't complain about anything other than the story.

Oh it's not quite family viewing by the way, containing as it does a few "bastards" and one "piss off" (for which the orator was beheaded with a sword by the Japanese officer to whom the remark was addressed).

My aged parents with whom I watched it on one of their weekly visits were not impressed though I thought it was an absolute hoot.

I nearly forgot to mention that there is a serious anomaly about 47 minutes into the film (which I'll submit for inclusion on the database).

The POWs are travelling by a rather ancient and decrepit train along a single-track equally decrepit jungle railway to their destination, housed in horrid old wooden box-car like trucks. At this mid-point we see a view of the train with colourful contemporary main-line passenger coaches, which look rather nice and comfortable and are certainly not made of wood. The film then reverts to the wooden box cars.

By summer 1943 on the Asian mainland , Japanese troops had overrun much of the southeast Asia . They had conquered what is now Malasya and Burma . The British defenders and their allied had retreated north and west into India . The bridge of the River Kwai was placed on the so-called ¨Burma road¨ stretched north from the Burmese , Rangoon , into southern China . It combined a railroad with a winding track through the high mountains near the Chinese border . There had many valuable natural resources , including large large oil fields , and Japan's victory in 1942 cut off the only land route into China from outside. The mountain and jungle of Burma were some of the most demanding environments for fighting in the whole war . Burma and Thailand was strategically valuable , however , it guarded the supply routes to China where were a million Japanese troops, but in such a huge country even that number could not win a decisive victory over the Allied . The film's opening prologue states : "Planes from the 493rd Squadron of the U.S. Army Air Corps bombed and destroyed the bridges on the River Kwai in Japanese-occupied Thailand. This film is based on the true events which happened during that period" . In Thailand working for building a bridge over the River Kwai were a group of war prisoners , mostly Australian and Brits , Maj. Benford (Edward Fox , though Anthony Andrews was earmarked for this role) , Cmdr Hunt (Nick Tate) , Seaman Miller (Timothy Bottoms) , among others , under rigid orders of the camp of concentration's commandant Tanaka (George Takei) . Cruel conditions in the concentration camp make life very difficult and the climate also had a significant impact on the prisoners . Meantime , the bridge is bombing by an American aircraft piloted by lieutenant Crawford (Chris Penn , recently deceased) , but he's gunned down , being picked up by the Meo ,an indigenous tribe . The Meo have created a resistance group commanded by British colonel Grayson (Demholm Elliott) . Then , the convicts find many dangers and risks , as they are transported by rail and , later on , they shipped by sea to serve as slave workers . As they pass throughout several places and cities , Nonh Penh , Saigon , until embark on a freighter , but an Allied submarine sight the ship...

The film is allegedly the following to classic 'Bridge on the river Kwai' by David Lean with William Holden , Alec Guinnes , Jack Hawkins , but this Return to Kwai is not based on the novel written by Pierre Boulle and starts where the original terminated with the blowing-up of the famous bridge . However , not being an official sequel to 1957 original film , it was made in short budget about thirty years after ; in fact , it wasn't even released in the United States theatres because of legal reasons , and in Europe premiered in cinemas with limited success . It does supposedly follow-on from true facts as depicted in that film , though the roles , historical events , happenings and incidents in both films are essentially different . It displays a functional cinematography by Arthur Wooster . And evocative as well as original musical score by Lalo Schifrin but without the unforgettable melodies from the successful first adaptation . The motion picture results to be an inferior version and made in a television style , being based on true events written by Clay and Joan Blair . The picture was middlingly directed by Andrew V. McLagen , Victor McLagen's son.

"Return from the River Kwai" is a war movie that abuses of bad clichés and is disrespectful with films such as "The Bridge on the River Kwai" or "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence". The unrealistic story shows, for example, an American pilot with problem on the shoulder that is capable to climb, flee from a prisoner of war camp using a rope made from clothes or roll over the wing of a Japanese airplane. Another example is the soldier that spits blood on the face of a cruel Japanese lieutenant and is surprised when he takes his saber to decapitate him, recalling "Hogan's Heroes". The story is awful and a waste of time. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Regresso do Rio Kwai" ("Return from the River Kwai")