- Young Michael: What is he wearing?
- Agent: A Prince t-shirt and red sneakers.
- Young Michael: *Prince* t-shirt?
- Steven Spielberg: [when Michael accidentally runs in on his set] Cut! You hairball, I'll never finish this movie! Who let him in? Isn't anybody in charge? Don't you know ANYTHING about show business?
- Michael: I'm sorry.
- Steven Spielberg: My producer is doing this to me, isn't he? I ask for a BAD guy and he gives me Michael Jackson? I can't take it anymore!
- Michael: [a traffic cop points to a "No Moonwalking" sign] Me and my friend, Spike, we were just... But, my friend, he was just... Spike, he was just here...
- Police Officer: [Hands him a ticket pad] I need your autograph right HERE.
- Biker Geek #1: [they see Michael] Look, Biff, there he is. How about an autograph?
- Biker Geek #2: Will you autograph my tummy? What's the matter, you got no pen?
- Biker Geek #1, Biker Geek #2: Let's get him.
- [they chase Michael]
- Mr. Big: Remember, a younger customer always turns into a loyal customer. Remember that! Remember that!
- Cowboy: Hey, pilgrim, you wanna ruin my career, I'LL show you *bad*.
- Michael: Sorry, I gotta go. Bye.
- Cowboy: Let's get the varmit.
- Statue of Liberty: Land of the free, home of the weird.
- Mr. Big: You guys gotta get in the middle of the country. Get in the middle of the country there! Stop those kids from praying in school. First, I want you to hang around by playgrounds, I want you to hang around schoolyards.
- [after a wire sprays sparks and scares the kids]
- Michael: [laughs] It's just a plug! It's just a plug.
- Zeke 'Baby Bad' Michael: Yeah, you jumped back too.
- [Michael Jackson and his bodyguards exit out of the soundstage, now morphed into adult towards the tour tramcar]
- Timmy: [shocked] Oh! Oh, look, look, Grammy.
- [stutters as he is pointing]
- Timmy: It's-Its M-M-M-Mi-Mi-MI-It's M-M-Mi-Mi-i...
- Grandma: Mantovani?
- Timmy: No.
- [screams]
- Timmy: MICHAEL JACKSON!
- [Grandma screaming]
- Tour Group: MICHAEL JACKSON?
- Mr. Big: My name is gonna be in the history books. And they better spell my name right! L-I-D-E-O. So simple. Frankie LiDeo! Very easy!
- Mr. Big: I want every kid in this whole world to take drugs because of me. Because of ME. I want everybody to know. Everybody.
- Grandma: Have you seen any famous people, Timmy?
- Timmy: No. No, not yet, Grammy.