Gor

Man, oh man. This movie pushes the limits of badness. I can't imagine anyone watching this movie for any reason but to laugh at it. As a comedy, this is great. Witness classic moments such as when the heroes just jump into a cart being dragged across the desert, in plain view of the enemy soldiers, and nobody notices! This is a great movie to watch with a bunch of friends, especially if you like to hear your friends howling with laughter. And then, after the flick's over, you can tell them a great joke: There are people for whom Gor is a sexual fetish. And then, the punchline is that you aren't kidding.

When I sat down to watch this movie the first thing I noticed was that nearly all of the voices were over dubbed, and the beginning has some of the worst over dubbing I've seen in an English language movie.

Overall the movie was pretty good, if you like Fantasy this movie is for you, if you like Rebecca Ferretti then this movie is for you....otherwise you probably won't like it.

Fritz Kiersch, this cinematic abortion's "director", has got to be one of the most completely untalented hacks working behind the lens. (If you've ever seen the original "Children of the Corn", you'll know what I mean.) The fight scenes here are SO incredibly lame. I've seen 2nd graders stage better mock combats in school plays. It doesn't help that the script seems to have been written by a moronic middle-schooler. No cliché goes unturned here, no mundane sword-&-sorcery trope untouched. I read the first three of John Norman's 'Gor' books when I was in high school and much more interested in the genre, and even then I didn't think that they were anything special. But at least they held my attention for the first few books in the series (probably mainly because of the sexy Boris Vallejo covers and the stories' liberal doses of bondage-themed sex). This movie has none of those elements. The only two good things about it are the vigorous, hearty (and often inappropriately utilized - good job, Fritz, you inept stooge) musical score and Rebecca Ferrati's breasts. (Wait - is that three things?)

This movie was bad and I don't mean that in a good way. I enjoy bad films. This film was boring. For my male friends the best part of this film was the great female fight scenes which is best described in the words of one friend "Cool it's T vs A". There were only two reasons I could sit through the boredom that was this movie. First I had read Tarnsman of Gor which is a decent book even if the author goes into a psychotic misogynistics breakdown after the first 3 books in the series. Second this movie managed to rope JACK PALANCE into playing a part. I spent the whole movie waiting for Jack Palance to appear and it was almost as fruitful as waiting for Gedot. He shows up in the last 3 minutes setting up for a sequel...god I hope they don't make one. Not worth the time it took to watch.

I've read some of the Gor books and enjoyed them. (Norman's later writing became far too sexist for me to stomach, but the first several are pretty good stories if you like the genre.)

But this movie *totally* sucked and about the only thing one could do with it is to have MST3000 do their thing (good luck). I turned it off after about 15 minutes and was seriously tempted to burn the video store's copy to spare anyone else the pain of seeing the thing.