Death by Dialogue

A group of teens go to some house on the country, inhabited by a professor of sorts and his female companion, located next to an abandoned movie set. They find an ancient screenplay that seems to re-write itself, pretty much dictating how the teens will meet their demise. Now, the concept of a screenplay or book re-writing itself to cause supernatural deaths to occur, would probably make up for a highly imaginative & compelling story in the hands of someone like, let's say, Clive Barker. But in the hands of two-time writer/director Thomas Dewier & one-time writer Susan Trabue this movie ended up being the cinematic equivalent of a giant elephant turd with big chunks of indefinable substances in it, the likes of which even a specialized forensics expert would have a hard time determining what on earth this elephant might have eaten the previous night.

The good thing is that "Death By Dialogue" would be a perfect match in an '80s feature double bill with "Nightmare Weekend" for a mind-boggling viewing experience. Both films are ridiculously inept, wildly bonkers, amusingly imaginative and completely devoid of any sense & logic. Further more, they use every excuse possible to present us a wide variety of stupidly insane & gory killings and a fair amount of female nudity. Oh, the glorious lost cinematic wonders from the '80s. While "Nightmare Weekend" might eat the cake for being the superior total-loss inane horror smörgåsbord it is, "Death By Dialogue" tries incredibly hard to be the second runner-up. When we're strictly talking kills here, we have: Burned to a total crisp. Blown straight into the air while having sex. An inexplicable head explosion. Being sucked into the ground and pop up again all melted. In addition, we also have a bad hard rock band suddenly appearing in the woods out of nowhere and a barbaric demon villain with a giant sword and two henchmen on motorcycles. I did say this movie doesn't make the least bit of sense, did I? It also stars Ken Sagoes as "The Kid Who Survived Nightmare On Elm Street 3". Yes, producers saw this as the sole selling point to promote this horrifying piece of drivel.

What a waste of time and celluloid. Production values were simply substandard even for a type movie. 1/3 in and I can barely stay focused, sub standard and sub par in every aspect.

Only in the 1980's, those gloriously dim-witted 1980's, it was possible for an over-enthusiast young writer/director to present a concept about a murderous horror movie screenplay and actually find the necessary financial means to make the film! "Death by Dialogue" is bottom-of-the-barrel 80's guff, complete with insufferable lead characters, zero tension building and a fairly high number of WTF-moments. The film is an attempt to amalgamate a typical slasher plot with an edge of supernaturalism, but the result is beyond retarded. The first half hour is still okay, albeit full of clichéd situations and hilariously inept 80's characteristics. The opening sequence, for example, is quite funny when a caretaker mistakes a hideous demon for his employer and yells at her: "Why don't you fire me!". The demon then literally sets him on fire, ha ha! Then there's a the exemplary credits sequence, depicting five stupid twenty-something losers driving up to a remote holiday destination in their convertible, guided by an atrociously cheesy 80's pop song. There's the hero and his girlfriend, the wannabe James Dean cool dude and the token black guy (Ken Sagoes from "Nightmare on Elm Street 3 & 4"). After the obligatory 'we-are-having-fun-playing-kids-games' montage, the dumb posse stumbles upon an ancient horror movie script that is possessed with the evil spirit of a murdered journalist. Yes, that's right! The script summons demons on motorcycles and heavy metal rock bands and actually causes people to die in various idiotic ways. "Death by Dialogue" is a really stupid film with tacky special effects and pathetic demon masks. The fog machines are working overtime and the barn love-making sequence has to be seen in order to be believed. The couple has steamy & passionate sex, although the girl never removes her panties, while the barn fills up with demonic forces until the girl literally blows out of her socks.

A friend of mine told me about Death by Dialogue about a year ago. I would have sworn he was trying to screw with me given his description of the film, however a few days later, he and I went to our local video store and there, resting proudly on the shelf, was Death by Dialogue. If I were to get technical, this is an awful movie, easily one of the worst ever made, however, I won't get technical. Despite it's movie-making flaws [which are blatently obvious to even the untrained eye] this is a film full of some of the cheesiest humour and corniest dialogue of all time. If you like bad horror movies, then Death by Dialogue is a must see.

The score to greet our ears from composer John Gonzales, the otherwise soundtrack, and original song "Night of our lives"; the costume design, hair, and makeup: it's evident from the outset that 'Death by dialogue' aims to adopt the same aesthetics as its 80s genre kin. That quite extends to how characters are written, and the awful dialogue, among other facets. What the movie cannot claim, however, are the same production values, for the fundamental image of this 1988 flick more closely resembles home video, or public access television, than a theatrical release. The sound design is tinny, and please don't miss the insertion of a rock band into the picture, as if this were a music video on MTV. Then again - after all, this is a Troma film, so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I'm not saying it's outright rotten, because that's not true, but from the very start it's something that one can "watch" without actively engaging, and to be honest it kind of encourages that method all by itself.

The practical effects are perhaps a tad modest stood next to those of other contemporary fare, but they still look good enough; the stunts are more plainly admirable. The same quite goes for the art direction. Thomas Dewier's direction, and the acting, aren't exactly the top of the line, but if nothing else, I've certainly seen worse. The broad concept is definitely one that we've seen before - a piece of media, in this case a film script, that causes death and destruction around it - and have again since, but there's no rule that says other filmmakers can't explore their own renditions of an idea. The details of the writing that flesh out that concept, included but not limited to how the script in this instance came into being, are much more questionable; the plot feels a little thin, stretching to make itself work. Some specific moments are extra dubious, like a dream sequence that fills a few minutes in the latter half. Be that as it may, I think the end result is still suitably solid, and I see the hard work that all involved put into the final product.

Still, however much earnest effort was being applied, the fact remains that 'Death by dialogue' is just kind of weak. Though some aspects are much less sure-footed, I don't think anything here is altogether bad; rather, it's just that nothing here bears enough strength - not even in combination - to really make an especially good impression. It never attains the vibrancy to be distinctly striking, is never discretely fun enough to meaningfully come off as a lark like some of its more cheeky brethren, and is probably longer than it should've been. The feature just somewhat languishes in the unremarkable middle - mildly enjoyable, but not entirely convincing, and with shortcomings more evident than any major value. I wonder if I'm not being too harsh; on the other hand, maybe I'm being too generous. I think it's still passably worthwhile as something very light to have on in the background on a lazy day, something that neither requires nor inspires viewer investment. Suffice to say, however, that if you're looking for something more wholehearted and committed, more thrilling, or more impactful, you're best served by passing up 'Death by dialogue' and looking elsewhere.