976-EVIL

Not the best horror film that you will watch, but it is significant as Robert Englund's director debut.

It's a typical story of a nerdy teen (Stephen Geoffreys) with a whacked out mother (Oscar-winner Sandy Dennis looking a lot heavier than I remember her), who keeps getting his head shoved in the toilet by the school bullies, and just wants to be cool like his cousin Spike (Patrick O'Bryan).

He manages to find a way to reach out to the dark side and get revenge on everyone - well, almost everyone. His goofs in his first attempt to scare his cousin's girl (former Cowboy's cheerleader Lezlie Deane) and kills her. If you have a thing about spiders, you may want to fast forward through this part.

He perfects his craft as he changes into a satanic beast. The makeup and special effects were really good. The only problem I had was the length of time that it took to get here. The movie was pretty boring up to this point. Maybe Englund will do better as he directs himself later this year.

Of course, there is a sequel where Spike returns to battle the evil.

I guess I have a soft spot, a very small one, for this forgotten film, which was directed by horror icon Robert Englund. I think it's because it came out at the end of the 80's, which is the decade I saw the majority of my horror films, as I consider myself a horror buff. I've seen it listed as either 1988 or 1989, but I don't think I've seen many more horror films since then, as the 80's wrapped up my teen years. An interesting tidbit has star Stephen Geoffreys basically become a gay porn star not long after this film came out, no pun intended. You probably won't recognize anyone else, other than perhaps Sandy Dennis, and maybe Robert Picardo. I thought the premise of the film was fairly original; you call a "horrorscope" number, and you get to speak to the Devil. There's a catch though, if you don't do what "he" says, you get a strange sounding ring on a nearby pay phone(remember them?)and bad stuff may happen to you. Buyer beware! I'll get the bad out of the way; first off, I didn't like how Hoax decided to play a cruel, but deadly joke on Suzie, considering she was very nice to him, and even tried to protect him from bullies. Her death scene was pretty lame, as far as horror standards go. Also, the way the house turned into a foamy ice inside, and the fire effects under the house, were cheesy at best. I did like the creature's make-up for the most part, although the extra large hands and feet could've been done better. I also thought the fish falling from the sky was interesting, and I haven't seen anything like it before or after this film. Mark Dark was a very cool addition, but I wish there was more background on his character. To finish this review, I'll reiterate that this has some late 80's charm to me, and was probably one of the last horror films I saw, at least from what I can recall, as the 80's gave me some really cool horror film memories, and I'll proudly include this film as well.

Much better than you may have heard, though it requires a great deal of patience. The first half is pretty slow, but not completely without merit because it showcases the comedic talents of the gifted Sandy Dennis who is a riot as the taunted teen's overprotective, religious fanatic mother. Dennis takes the Piper Laurie role in CARRIE even further, but this time plays the role for laughs, and she's absolutely magnificent every minute she's on the screen. She comes across in this film as an even more out-of-control Shelley Winters(another great actress). The second half however is what viewers will most likely remember about the film because it features some very wacky and crudely effective special effects. The FX are pretty good too for such a low-budget effort and all. Besides Dennis, the top acting honors go to Stephen Geoffreys who is just about perfect as the terrorized teen who turns the tables on his tormentors. Generally speaking, audiences and critics alike have been much too harsh on this nifty little flick. Actor Robert Englund, who had played nightmare-invading/teen throat-slashing Freddy Krueger in the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET movies for several years, was a perfect choice to direct this scary/funny movie. I don't care what anyone says, good job Robert!!!!! Yes, CARRIE is a masterpiece of horror, but if you wan't to see a more humerous take on the same theme, then 976-EVIL is the way to go.

Receiving a strange calling card, a teen living with his cousin realize that a growing obsession with the horoscope line after it's predictions come true realize he's gained Satanic powers through the line and when a spate of violent murders occurs they ban together to stop him.

For the most part, this here wasn't all that bad. One of the main elements to this one is the fact that this is one of the cheesiest films of it's time, as most of this is taken up by the general tone of the plot. The very idea of it's central premise, being invested of Satanic powers through a horoscope hot-line is pretty goofy, and yet there are certain scenes here that play off that goofiness with gusto here as the action of that occurring is where this one really gets enjoyable. The opening stalking scene of the victim being blown up and set on fire in a phone booth, having the spiders in the oven- dinner, the bathroom stalking when he's possessed taking out the gang- members who bullied him and the second poker game held during the rampage are perfect examples of the cheesiness throughout here, as they should not be taken seriously and yet come across as perfectly serious during it's time. As well, the film's at its best at the last half hour, which is where all the fun really starts to happen since the body count picks up and we get the highlight with the trip through the frozen house is ably chilling as it contains a few nice suspense sequences and features a really nice jump at the end in addition to the big final confrontation that works rather nicely. Alongside the fine gore for the kills and the great cheese here, these are the film's positive points as there wasn't a whole lot against this one. One of the biggest detriments, which is also it's greatest asset, is the high amount of cheese on display. While it makes the film a lot of fun, the fact is that it makes it appealing only to those who enjoy that in their films. For those who want it more serious, the cheese here will make it a lot harder to get into. The central premise is a little hard to swallow, the joke- filled nature of it drags it down slightly, and the biggest drawback is the tone given to the film. There's a bluish hue surrounding most of the film that gives it a low-budget feel and really does make it a little tougher to sit through. The other big problem against it is a slow beginning. This is a necessity to build it up, but to make the first forty minutes of it so uneventful beyond setting up angles to play off later is a problem to overcome. Though not as prominent as the cheese factor, it still hurts it to a degree. Likewise, the rather confusing narrative doesn't help this by seemingly introducing characters here for no real reason and letting them survive as they do is a little surprising, which doesn't really do the film many favors either, and all told these here are the film's biggest issues.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Nudity, a brief sex scene and drug use.

Stephen Geoffreys is the type of actor that Bob Saget and Eminem wish they could be! Stephen takes a bland horror flick and transforms it into a surreal epic! Stephen is Hoax, a shut-in of a teenager who lives with his insane and controlling mother. Stephen rules, dude! He is one of the best actors that I can think of, and his performance in this film will make you, as the viewer, feel quite a variety of emotions all at once! Good stuff, man!