Pacific Banana

I saw this movie when I was about 10 or 11, late night, all cranked up on caffeine...but if my memory serves me right- the basic plot is about a guy trying to get laid, but every time he's about to get some he loses his erection...thats it...pretty hilarious...pretty bad... but lots of boobs. the most memorable part is the title song of the movie... "it wants to go up,up,up, but it always goes down,down,down...PACIFIC BANANA!" or something like that...I gotta find this movie.

Director John Lamond is kind of like the Aussie version of Russ Meyer (in the recent documentary on the Aussie exploitation industry "Not Quite Hollywood", Lamond is interviewed in a strip club). True, he doesn't share the latter's fetish for giant breasts. However, I would maintain that the enduring cult appeal of Russ Meyers has less to do with his talentless, big-breasted actresses (after all there's plenty of those around, especially in the post-silicone era) than with the fact that he was a genuinely TALENTED director. Lamond isn't quite in the same class as Meyer, but he's certainly competent. In his long career he did horror movies ("Nightmares") and straight "Emanuelle"-style erotica ("Felicity"), but his specialty was "ocker" sex comedies like this one.

Graeme Blundell plays "Martin", a pilot with a very peculiar problem: every time he is about to have sex he has a sneezing fit and loses his erection. A ridiculous amount of attractive women try to help him out, but all to no avail. After a mishap involving an older female relative of his boss, he is sent to work at a low-rent airlines called "Pacific Banana" where he is teamed with another pilot (Robin Stewart), who is such a ladies' man that he is engaged to BOTH of his shapely stewardesses (Dehorah Gray and Alyson Best), but still has time to "cheat" on them everywhere he goes (he has the proverbial opening in every port). Eventually,the Pacific Banana crew end up at the island resort of "Candy Bubbles" (Luanne Peters), and the well-endowed "Candy" and her gang of sexy female employees try to "cure" Martin. But will they succeed, or will it be up to his employer's nubile, pig-tailed daughter (Helen Hemingway),who follows "Martin" around like a puppy dog, but he never notices (perhaps because of her pig-tails) that she's absolutely gorgeous. Hmmm, I wonder?

Let's just be honest. NOBODY would watch a movie like this if the female cast wasn't constantly taking off their tops (and sometimes their bottoms).The plot is obviously stupid and it's rarely very funny. Still, it has a few other things going for it. It was filmed on-location in Tahiti and the scenery is absolutely gorgeous--unlike his modern-day equivalents, Lamond knew the difference between bare breasts and production values and he obviously spent a little money on this. The calypso-flavored theme song (credited to actresses Peters and Gray) is a catchy and funny with lyrics that keep changing to comment on "Martin's" unusual predicament. It's also nice to see Graeme Blundell, who was in the very first big "ocker" comedy "Alvin Purple" in the early 70's, and English actress Luann Peters, who was minor Hammer starlet and appeared in Pete Walker's "The Flesh and Blood Show". This isn't great, but if you just want to see an Australian "ocker" comedy this is as good as any.

Falsely accused of forcing himself on the boss' wife, an airline pilot by the name of "Martin" (Graeme Blundell) is transferred to a small, third-rate company known as "Banana Airways" which services a couple of scattered islands in the South Pacific. Not only that, but if this demotion wasn't bad enough, the sexual encounter left Martin so traumatized that he now suffers from a severe case of erectile dysfunction to contend with as well. Conversely, the new pilot he now works with named "Paul" (Robert Stewart) has the exact opposite problem in that he is irresistible to women and as a result often has sex several times during the day which leaves him quite exhausted at times. Naturally, wanting to help his new friend, Paul takes him to several different places on their travels which he feels are sure to cure him of his problem. What Paul doesn't know is that the daughter of the airline's owner is stalking Martin and wherever "Julia Blandings" (Helen Hemingway) goes-trouble follows. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a rather bland comedy which utilizes sex as its main source of humor. On that note, the inclusion of some attractive actresses like Deborah Gray (as "Sally") and Luan Peters ("Candy Bubbles") certainly didn't hurt. On the flip side, however, although I liked the performance of Graeme Blundell I thought that the sexual scenarios lacked both humor and eroticism which resulted in a rather tepid comedy all things considered. That being said, while this film isn't terribly bad, it really isn't that good either and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

Alvin purple came off one movie, and walked onto this one, you feel. Again, Blundell's attraction is an enigma, and he gets into more hot water, where he transferred to this s...ty airline, after literally being jumped on, by his boss's boss, a feisty middle aged woman. This ill fated and disreputable airline, that travels over the Pacific, does have it's advantages. Riding with Blundell is Stewart, (Bless This House), a cheating, deceiving, womanizing pilot, up to his neck in trim. This movie is something of an oddity with some nice nakedness, few laughs, if that, and an appetitious custard fight, some meaty dialogue taking place here. One of the passengers, a overly gay guy adds some sparkle to this unfunny sexy comedy, more sexy than funny, where you've got two hot stewardesses both doing Stewart. We also have a sex crazed teen, infatuated with Martin (Blundell) who Daddy (Blundell's employer) warned him about at the start. She even snuck onto the plane, the plane conductor, giving Martin a praying signal. praying signal. This movie is bad, it's nudity and hotties the only attraction to this Pacific trip, with Blundell having erection problems on the account of his sneezing, where may'be this sex crazed teen can help him.