कॉनन द बार्बेरियन

When Conan came out in 1981, critics griped about its elephantine pacing and ponderous dialogue, and long stretches in which nothing much happened, giving evidence that they expected traditional action- adventure in the vein of, say, Sinbad. But director John Milius had set out to create something very different: an epic Aryan myth which translated the qualities of Wagnerian opera to cinema, and in large part he succeeded.

Conan has a sweeping epic feel, and is heavily dependent upon and driven by its setting and music to a degree that is very rare. As important as the deeds of the legendary hero, which are shown in brief and violent spurts of action, are the place and the culture that shaped that legend. The journey that created the myth, in short, is equal to the myth itself, and this is the logic and justification for the setting-heavy approach taken by Milius. And Basil Poledouris' wonderful music, which starts out Wagnerian and brassy, but adds middle Eastern touches as Conan's journey takes him in that direction, tracks along with Conan to show up the breadth of his epic journey while celebrating his heroic achievements.

Ultimately the story that gets told is somewhat less worthy of Milius' Wagnerian ambitions than are the music and the visuals, but the overall results more than justify the effort, especially when compared to the Italian sword and sandal knock-offs which followed this much copied but never equaled classic of the fantasy genre.

You know, Conan doesn't speak for the first 22 minutes of the movie, but it's worth the wait. "Crush enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentations of the women" is Conan's description of what is best in life.

If you're a dialog person, this movie may not be for you. If you never paid attention to the dialog, you might do so now. Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll! (except, without the rock'n'roll. The soundtrack is pretty awesome, though).

What can I say? It's a classic. Intense blood and gore, Eighties-esquire special effects, intense sensuality with were-vixens, magic, revenge, true love...sounds like the Princess Bride with an R rating. Just kidding.

Arnie in the lead role. James Earl Jones as the villain. Clear effort and care, that shows, in every department. Really, what more could you ask of this film? I have not read any of Howard's stories, so all I know about Conan is how many times the character has been done, and of course what this film told me. Be forewarned, there is some sexuality(not many places, but when it's there, it can be strong), a lot of violence, and a seemingly endless stream of death throughout this, and you should only watch this if you are prepared for(and able to tolerate) such. The plot is quite good, and I understand it does incorporate several elements and occurrences from the original stories by Howard(R.I.P.). The pacing is pretty much flawless, I was never bored. The action is well-done, intense and with great choreography. Acting is spot-on, more or less. Jones is a more intimidating presence elsewhere, but he's not bad at all. Schwarzenegger does rather well. Production values are of notably high quality for the entire feature. No expense seems spared. Vast sets and locations, detailed costumes and props, countless extras. Special effects are magnificent, and not just for the time it was made. Sound is reasonable, a lot of lines seem ADR'ed, but the music is masterful. Dialog varies, but most of it is marvelous, both writing and delivery. Cinematography and editing are top-notch. This builds atmosphere skillfully, and the amount of dialog and where it occurs is chosen with care. I would advise against reading the Trivia entries, or at least all of them, before the viewing, as they do give some things away. I recommend this to any fan of the genre, Arnie, and possibly Jones and/or Sydow, as well. 7/10

It took a long time for Robert E Howard's wonderful creation to make it to the big screen,and the result is something of a mixture.Some of Conan is very impressive,with the atmosphere of Howard's writing perfectly captured on screen,but some of the film is badly misjudged,with daft moments,botched action,and an uneven performance from schwarzenneger.He looks the part but in some scenes comes across as a muscle bound buffoon.Something the literary hero definitely wasn't.The story is ok,apart from having Conan spend half his life chained to the wheel of pain!But it's a dissapointing script,considering greats Milius and Oliver Stone wrote it.There are some excellent sequences in the film though,that are beautifully photographed.The opening attack on conans village is impressive,and Conans encounter with a weird witch is pretty good.But best of all is the orgy sequence,where the action,sets,and music blend together perfectly.It's like a Frank Frazetta painting come to life!The climactic battle of the mounds is ok,but it's all over far to quickly.The film does look good with some gorgeous photography,and set design.Best of all though,is the music by Basil Poledouris.This is an absolutely stunning score,that really captures the savage world of Conan.I'll stick my neck out and say that it's the best film soundtrack ever composed!General Cromwell,over and out.

Back when it was originally released, CONAN THE BARBARIAN was dismissed by the critics as a disposable Sword & Sorcery B-movie. It was criticized for it's excessive violence and Arnold's wooden performance. It's brilliant score and memorable sets are ignored by reviewers, as is the well choreographed swordplay. Thirteen years later, BRAVEHEART is showered with praise and Oscar respectability. It is embraced by critics despite it's graphically violent battlefield sequences, which are praised as exhilarating and authentic. Many of these battle sequences (as well as some of the costume design) bare just a little resemblance to the ones in CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Eighteen years later, GLADIATOR becomes a box-office blockbuster in a matter of weeks, taking in almost one hundred thirty million thus far. It receives generally good notices from critics despite it's historical inaccuracies, poorly edited action scenes and predictable plot. The basic story is reminiscent to the one told in CONAN, and the films violence is every bit as brutal. Isn't it funny how times change? What was once laughable and disposable is now respectable.