Project: Kill

William Girdler made a number of memorable, b-grade action films in his prolific though brief career before his premature death, but "Project: Kill", unfortunately, isn't one for the highlight reel. Nielsen stars as a jaded US military project head, conditioning elite soldiers to become assassins with the aid of drug control. When he escapes to the Philippines to consult with a crippled ex-army buddy (Thompson), his 2IC (Lockwood) follows in pursuit with orders to recover or destroy before other sinister interests learn the project's secrets.

Kwan is terribly wasted playing a Chinese love interest for the programmatic Nielsen, emotionally inert, unable to develop feelings of attraction and love until the drug withdrawal begins to wane and he discovers a human side he'd long neglected. Lockwood is the kung-fu fighting 2IC, another unlikely looking killing machine, while ubiquitous Philippino actors Vic Diaz and Vic Silayan are the villain and the cop respectively, both looking relaxed in their environment.

Girdler's picture aims high but is seriously compromised by its production limitations and fatally stagnant pace. The plot has more holes than a sieve and the action sequences are poorly choreographed and lack intensity. Girdler was indeed a fine, emerging director with some talent, but "Project: Kill" isn't among his best work.

Formed as a counter-assassination unit, "Project-Kill" has evolved from protecting persons of influence to one of covert assassination. Having risen up through the ranks "John Trevor" (Leslie Nielsen) has seen this change and he doesn't approve of it. As a result, even though he is in charge of training he announces his decision to leave the organization to his subordinate, "Frank Lassiter" (Gary Lockwood). This decision stuns Gary who reminds him that this type of action requires a lengthy debrief due to the top-secret information he possesses which other countries would love to have. Along with that his departure would also require a gradual withdrawal process because of the drugs all the agents take to bolster their effectiveness. But John remains firm and decides to leave immediately. When Frank attempts to stop him he is knocked unconscious. We then discover that John has fled to the Philippines with both Frank and other foreign governments in hot pursuit of him. Now, as far as this film is concerned, although the overall plot was certainly good, it lacked several key elements which could have immensely benefited this movie. For starters, other than Leslie Nielsen and Nancy Kwan (as "Lee Su") the acting was pretty bad. In particular, the performance of Pamela Parsons (as "Lynn Walker") was especially wooden. Likewise, both the script and the fight sequences needed improvement as well. In short, although this movie isn't extremely bad, it isn't necessarily that good either. I rate the movie as slightly below average.

And I am not talking about insulin for diabetes. Contrary to popular belief, veteran actor Leslie Nielsen did not have his first comedic role in "Naked Gun." No, ladies and gentleman, that role would have to be here, in "Project: Kill," one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've ever seen. What is so tragic is that I believe the filmmakers had half-sincerity in what they were doing - trying to make a decent '70s-style political paranoia movie on the cheap. Director and Kentucky-based B-movie maven William Girdler even called this his greatest film, making me wonder whether he had an injection or two of his own.

What they made instead is a movie with Nielsen embarrassing himself as a drugged-up, brainwashed top-secret assassin, walking through the Phillipines for some reason with both a bunch of Asian gangsters and an ex-partner after him (played by Gary Lockwood who, unbelievably, was in "2001: A Space Odyessey" 8 years earlier. His presence here certainly indicates that he received no royalties from that film). While on this little travel excursion, we get to see the beautiful and seedy sides of the Philippines (the producer appears to have spent the majority of the budget on pointless scenic photography at the expense of a badly-needed dialogue coach), and we also get to see the clumsiest kung-fu fight scenes ever put to celluloid. I'm not kidding - it seems as if Bugs Bunny was the resident martial arts consultant for filming. In addition, we get plenty of pseudo-sophisticated camera-work a la Sidney J. Furie's "The Ipcress File." I half expected to see the cameraman's foot slip into the bottom of the screen these shots were so inept. Two other highlights: a music score which seems to cut off and restart incorrectly during scene transitions, and Lockwood's boss on the telephone who has the voice of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I feel deeply sorry for the people of the Philippines. First, the United States annexed their country and claimed it as U.S. territory, then a hundred years later it made cheap movies like this even more cheaply over there to exploit the currency differential. A movie like this is grounds for diplomatic sanctions by the Philippines against the U.S. It is good for a few laughs and for curiosity's sake. For that reason, I will forego giving it a formal star rating, and let you get out of this whatever qualities you may; after all, life is like a box of chocolates...

It's a pretty heinous film that features a man in a wicker wheelchair, Leslie Neilson's scarred chest, plenty of very ugly Filipinos, horribly set up karate sequences, and people who look like they are waiting for others to finish their lines so they can begin.

I think the plot is like this. Two guys, one being Leslie Neilson, are at odds since one wants out of this Project Control. Basically people are shooting up to become superstrong? Well Leslie Neilson gets mixed up with some Filipino gangs who don't like either one of the Americans. There is a side romance too. Makes little sense really.

I'm sure Leslie would love for you to forget that he was in this one, but sadly like the movie says: "The only way out is DEATH."

Watchability: 2 out of 10 MST3K quality: 7 out of 10

Interesting actioner from the late director of GRIZZLY, MANITOU and DAY OF THE ANIMALS. This features Leslie Nielsen as a Kung-fu expert/secret agent who wants out, but in his line of work, there is only one way out...DEATH. Nielsen goes on a run, his friend and fellow agent Gary Lockwood is hot on his trail. Nielsen battle local bad guy Vic Diaz as a second plotline. I don't know if this film got any theatrical booking, for it played a lot on CBS late night. The video print is dirty and looks like it was from a 16mm print. The film is not bad, and Nielsen does a real good job in the film. It's not recommended for most fans of Nielsen today will view this film as a comedy.