Project: Kill

I have seen many movies throughout my life just like the next guy. This was something special. Project Kill is the worst movie I have ever seen. I actually bought this movie because of the comments made on this website and thought to myself that it can't be THAT bad. Boy was I wrong about that. This movie was rated R back in 1977 and after viewing it, I have yet to find out why. Just a few things that made this film horrible include: The dialogue has inflections that don't make sense where they are placed, the "fight" scenes are so fake I almost started throwing things at the TV, and Nancy Kwan's role in this gem is absolutely pointless. This movie is so bad, I just had to force myself to laugh during some parts to avoid an aneurysm. Godspeed to those who want to subject themselves to this torture.

Director William Girdler, primarily known for horror movies, tries his hand at an action / thriller with PROJECT: KILL.

Leslie Nielsen stars as John, the head trainer for the hit squad of the title. John's had enough and wants out, which proves to be rather difficult.

Now, not only are his old associates after him, but John's also going through withdrawal from years of mind control drugs.

Karate and death ensue.

Considering the subject matter, this movie isn't quite as exciting as one might expect. Even the fight scenes and homicides do little to raise our pulse rates. The shallow dialogue and meandering plot don't help. Nielsen isn't bad, but can't save this gobbler from its terminal dive...

Before his comeback as a slapstick comedian in the NAKED GUN films, Leslie Nielsen floundered in many dull movies like PROJECT: KILL.

He plays John Trevor, head of an elite squad of government assassins who use a mysterious drug to maintain Herculean strength. The drug also causes painful headaches and psychotic episodes, so Trevor just ups and leaves the service, heading for the Philippines to start over. Nancy Kwan, who is totally wasted as Trevor's new girlfriend, consoles him as he babbles on about his empty life. A glum-looking Gary Lockwood is a fellow mercenary sent to retrieve Trevor dead or alive.

Much of the screen time is devoted to Lockwood, who at one point steps in front of an exploding grenade and doesn't die. The story unfolds with an utter lack of conviction, but in the amusing finale Nielsen and Lockwood prance about in mock-kung fu poses and smack each other a lot.

PROJECT KILL was a troubled production filmed in The Philippines, and was barely released in theaters in 1976.

And I am not talking about insulin for diabetes. Contrary to popular belief, veteran actor Leslie Nielsen did not have his first comedic role in "Naked Gun." No, ladies and gentleman, that role would have to be here, in "Project: Kill," one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've ever seen. What is so tragic is that I believe the filmmakers had half-sincerity in what they were doing - trying to make a decent '70s-style political paranoia movie on the cheap. Director and Kentucky-based B-movie maven William Girdler even called this his greatest film, making me wonder whether he had an injection or two of his own.

What they made instead is a movie with Nielsen embarrassing himself as a drugged-up, brainwashed top-secret assassin, walking through the Phillipines for some reason with both a bunch of Asian gangsters and an ex-partner after him (played by Gary Lockwood who, unbelievably, was in "2001: A Space Odyessey" 8 years earlier. His presence here certainly indicates that he received no royalties from that film). While on this little travel excursion, we get to see the beautiful and seedy sides of the Philippines (the producer appears to have spent the majority of the budget on pointless scenic photography at the expense of a badly-needed dialogue coach), and we also get to see the clumsiest kung-fu fight scenes ever put to celluloid. I'm not kidding - it seems as if Bugs Bunny was the resident martial arts consultant for filming. In addition, we get plenty of pseudo-sophisticated camera-work a la Sidney J. Furie's "The Ipcress File." I half expected to see the cameraman's foot slip into the bottom of the screen these shots were so inept. Two other highlights: a music score which seems to cut off and restart incorrectly during scene transitions, and Lockwood's boss on the telephone who has the voice of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I feel deeply sorry for the people of the Philippines. First, the United States annexed their country and claimed it as U.S. territory, then a hundred years later it made cheap movies like this even more cheaply over there to exploit the currency differential. A movie like this is grounds for diplomatic sanctions by the Philippines against the U.S. It is good for a few laughs and for curiosity's sake. For that reason, I will forego giving it a formal star rating, and let you get out of this whatever qualities you may; after all, life is like a box of chocolates...

It's a pretty heinous film that features a man in a wicker wheelchair, Leslie Neilson's scarred chest, plenty of very ugly Filipinos, horribly set up karate sequences, and people who look like they are waiting for others to finish their lines so they can begin.

I think the plot is like this. Two guys, one being Leslie Neilson, are at odds since one wants out of this Project Control. Basically people are shooting up to become superstrong? Well Leslie Neilson gets mixed up with some Filipino gangs who don't like either one of the Americans. There is a side romance too. Makes little sense really.

I'm sure Leslie would love for you to forget that he was in this one, but sadly like the movie says: "The only way out is DEATH."

Watchability: 2 out of 10 MST3K quality: 7 out of 10