- Katarina Egermann: Neither of us wants to mature. That's the reason we fight and torment each other and cry. Neither of us wants to grow up.
- Tim Mandelbaum: Maybe one should break down once in a while. I have several times. I don't know if it upset me. I think not. Usually about love. I need intimacy terribly. Where does one find it? I really mean it. Always the same torment. Then the body gets in the way and then the soul. And then one's loaded with hopes and expectations and compromises. God, I'm so theoretical!
- Tim Mandelbaum: I'm only a child. Then again, maybe not. I don't know about time. It doesn't exist, say those who've thought about it. I shut my eyes and feel like a 10-year-old. Physically as well. Then I open them and look in the mirror and an old man stands there. A childish old man, isn't that strange. A childish old man, that's all. No, something more.
- Tim Mandelbaum: My dreams were too lovely perhaps and as punishment - life shakes you when you least expect it.
- Peter Egermann: I dreamt I was sleeping. I dreamt I was dreaming. Everything was very sensual. Not just erotic. But meaningfully drawing my loins to a nice, strong scent of a woman's moisture, perspiration, saliva, fresh-smelling thick hair. I moved, eyes shut, over a shining broad surface. All was still. I was absolutely content and had a strange need to tell a funny story; but couldn't speak - which didn't bother me in the least. On the contrary, I felt this gliding had to do with my dumbness and that my brain was focused on my hands. Even my fingertips. Each finger had a little eye registering all the glittering surfaces and gliding itself. It was fine. It could stay that way. I thought or rather, I didn't think at all. A colorful ribbon floated out of my lips: If you are my death; welcome, my death. If you are my life; welcome, my life.
- Peter Egermann: I'd like to tell you what's on my mind. Everyone has worries, no? Mine is rather special. That's why I'm here. You think I talk a lot. True. I hesitate to speak. As long as I don't say it, it's just a dream. Saying it, will make it real.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: You have so little respect for your fear.
- Peter Egermann: Give me something to calm me?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Go out for walks. It does wonders for depression and grim thoughts. Then drink coffee or cognac. You'll feel better.
- Peter Egermann: I see her moving in the bathroom, flooded by sunlight. She combs her hair. I've always enjoyed watching my wife. Even when we hated each other or when she was hateful, drunk, sick or angry. I've always enjoyed her movement, her scent, her presence.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: If you wish I can take you into my clinic. We have injections for everything, so, eventually you don't care whether you're Peter Egermann or Emperor of China.
- Katarina Egermann: If Peter isn't well, neither am I. I want to run home and hold him and say: from now now I understand everything you say, think and feel. I want to hold him tight until he notices me, because we don't see each other although we live so close and know everything about each other.
- Tim Mandelbaum: Most gays like women - not because we're feminine ourselves. But, because we're more in touch with our feelings.
- Tim Mandelbaum: I'm driven by forces I don't control. Doctors, lovers, pills, drugs, alcohol, work. Nothing helps. Secret forces. What are they called? I don't know. Maybe just aging. Wasting. I don't know. Forces I can't master.
- Tim Mandelbaum: I stare at my face in the mirror - it's quite familiar - and make sure that in this combination of blood and flesh and nerves and bone, there are two separate - I don't know what. Two separate entities. The dream of intimacy, tenderness, togetherness, abandon of the living. And on the other hand violence, filth, horror, threat of death. Sometimes I believe it all comes from one source. I don't know. How should I?
- Peter Egermann: I dreamt that I awoke from deepest slumber. I lay on the floor that was as soft as a thick carpet. I felt warm and content. Katarina lay beside me motionless, sleeping. I knew immediately that it was all a dream. I told myself I shouldn't be afraid and that the only danger was fear itself to be panic-striken and try to escape, to weep or scream or strike at the walls. I decided to stay calm. Katarina woke up slowly. I tried to speak to her, but couldn't reach her. She acted as though I wasn't there. She was soft and stimulatingly indifferent. I wanted to make love. But she avoided me and I couldn't enter her. She looked at me with half-shut eyes and smiled.
- Peter Egermann: There was a tender moment. Perfect silence. It's hard to describe that moment. The air changed. It was mild and easy to breathe. Grey light gave way to a misty dawn. That touched our wounded hearts. We faced each other in a sudden burst of closeness. Then came the horror.
- Katarina Egermann: I look back on our life, astounded, Think of our former reality: we were dreaming, playing or whatever the hell we did. This is the real reality. And it's unbearable. I speak, answer, think, get dressed, sleep and eat, those are daily needs, the hard surface. Underneath I'm crying. I weep for myself - because I may not be as I was. What has been may never again be, is gone forever, like a dream.
- Peter Egermann: We like our pleasure or perhaps each other's, I don't know. The best was cheating on each other. I use the word cheating, but it's wrong. It's morally derogatory. And we aren't. "Mutual sexual freedom," it's called.
- Tim Mandelbaum: Martin was a fine guy. We were very close but, as you know, no one's faithful. Not really. Homosexuals never are. Because of children. The sad fact we haven't any and can't adopt.
- Katarina Egermann: Can't you tell me why you're so unhappy?
- Peter Egermann: I'm neither unhappy nor happy. What a crappy word by the way.
- Peter Egermann: Everything's like a game... with often repeated answers, pauses, tantrums. The exits are rehearsed. Of course it's fatal we don't have an audience... but we usually manage to overcome that inconvenience.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Why did you come to see me? You don't believe in your own agony. You don't believe in the existence of the soul. So why did you come?
- Peter Egermann: Are you angry?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Of course I'm angry. Because you have so little respect for your fear.
- The Interrogator: Peter and Katarina never consulted with you?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: It was never serious. Nothing Valium couldn't cure.
- Katarina Egermann: I wonder if you're not more worried... than you say you are.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Rationally speaking, the risks are pretty minimal.
- Katarina Egermann: Then let's remain rational.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: I don't know, Katarina. My damn intuition won't let go of this.
- Katarina Egermann: Is your intuition always right?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: I think so.
- Peter Egermann: As long as I don't express my anxiety in words, it remains a dream. Once I've said the words, my anxiety becomes manifest, a fact.
- Katarina Egermann: Your business friends consider it an honor... to eat that grub your awful old mother prepares. And in that rat trap to boot. It's incredible.
- Peter Egermann: Mama is a monument.
- Katarina Egermann: She's a rotten old monument... to your father's ancient imperium of oppression.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: How are you going to kill her?
- Peter Egermann: It's all quiet in the apartment. And intense sunlight floods in. We've been left to our own devices for several days. Perhaps longer. We haven't quarreled. All is... quiet. Maybe it's early morning. The street is empty. A feeling of peacefulness overcomes me. Everything seems very far away. I mean, work, everyday life, voices and appointments. There's no agitation or fear. I can see her moving around in the bathroom... saturated in the intense, almost unreal sunlight. She's combing her hair. I've always loved to watch my wife. Even when we hated each other. Or when she was revoltingly drunk... sick or just angry. I've always loved the way she moves. Her scent, her presence. She has turned toward the mirror. She watches me in the mirror. She is lost in her own thoughts, but she breathes heavily. I'm standing behind her, at an angle... and I'm holding the razor in my right hand. She watches me the whole time. And now she really sees me. An imperceptible smile hovers around her lips. I can feel her slight agitation, a slight pulse at her throat.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Did you know that a human body contains a large amount of blood? If you cut the jugular vein, you and the walls would be covered in blood. Blood reeks and is sticky. She wouldn't die right away. It'd take a few minutes for her to faint. Both of you would probably have a lot of time to think. Perhaps you'd regret it. Things would turn out differently. You wouldn't have your experience... other than seeing Katarina on the bathroom mat with a severed throat.
- Peter Egermann: You're being ironic, aren't you?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: No. I can get you admitted to my clinic. They'll pump you full of drugs till you don't care... if you're Peter Egermann or the emperor of China. Don't worry. We're great at obliterating people's identities. No more self, no more fear. Fantastic, isn't it?
- Cordelia Egermann: We laughed about all those repairs and the architect's report. It was really quite funny. Peter said that I live in a real rat trap. But I love my old house. I'll never move out of it.
- Peter Egermann: Sex was always best after we had been unfaithful to each other. But the word 'unfaithful' is the wrong word. It has a negative moral connotation. And we never... I guess it's called 'mutual sexual freedom.'
- Peter Egermann: Maybe you should prescribe something for me.
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Just take a long walk. That's the best thing for depression. Then drink some coffee, a few cognacs, and you'll feel good as new.
- Peter Egermann: There's no way out. If you understand what I mean.
- Katarina Egermann: No.
- Peter Egermann: No...
- Katarina Egermann: You have to give me an example.
- Peter Egermann: Surfeit.
- Katarina Egermann: Surfeit? I don't even know what that is.
- Peter Egermann: A typical component of 'surfeit'... is that you feel unbearably surfeited... when asked to elucidate the reason for that state of surfeit.
- Peter Egermann: Don't drink so much.
- Katarina Egermann: I'll drink as much as I want, my darling. I never go overboard.
- Peter Egermann: You were pretty insufferable last night.
- Katarina Egermann: Don't I know it.
- Peter Egermann: You'd had too much to drink. That's why.
- Katarina Egermann: I was like that on purpose.
- Peter Egermann: That's the way it is. On purpose.
- Katarina Egermann: I enjoy embarrassing Martin.
- Peter Egermann: You succeeded wonderfully.
- Katarina Egermann: He always tries to fondle me in secret. So I get tipsy and fondle him. Openly. That's a subtle way of getting back at someone, little Peter.
- Peter Egermann: You start talking nonsense loudly...
- Katarina Egermann: That's your opinion. Everyone else thinks I'm terribly nice.
- Katarina Egermann: It goes without saying.
- Peter Egermann: It goes without saying that it goes without saying.
- Katarina Egermann: Don't you have tennis tomorrow?
- Peter Egermann: Harry's arm hurts.
- Katarina Egermann: He smokes too much.
- Peter Egermann: His smoking's beside the point.
- Katarina Egermann: Smoking 70 cigarettes a day affects the circulation and muscle tissue.
- Peter Egermann: Doesn't one crazy theory claim some fools love fighting... and humiliating each other? Don't they say it's some rarefied form of contact? I get punched in the face. Hurrah, we finally had physical contact.
- Cordelia Egermann: When he was twenty, he met a very nice girl. They got engaged and planned to get married after finishing college. And then he met Katarina and fell madly in love with her. Katarina had a lot of control over him. She had the say. What Peter's parents said or thought... wasn't important anymore. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. I don't know anything. I don't understand anything. And how could I understand?
- Peter Egermann: How often do we say that we hate someone. Or that we wish our counterpart were dead. Or we hit each other. Humiliate, challenge, threaten the other. We spit each other in the face, grip each other's arms, wrestle, yell. Finally some blood is shed. One of us triumphs, the other is destroyed... and stands by the bathroom door asking for forgiveness. That's not dangerous?
- Professor Mogens Jensen: Not dangerous at all.
- Peter Egermann: Katarina has been unfaithful, and so have I. But no matter. We're great in bed. Actually, our sex life is fantastic. We make love... how should I put it? Without emotions. I mean, without having to think about our feelings for each other.
- Katarina Egermann: Peter's a part of me. Don't you understand that? I carry him inside of me, no matter where I go. He's inside of me. I've never felt like that with anyone else. If we had kids, it'd be different. He's my child, I'm his. No, that's not true. We both don't want to be clever or mature. That's why we fight and hit each other and cry. We don't want to grow up. But we share the same blood circulation. Our nerves have grown together in some strange, uncanny way. Can you understand that? Whenever Peter's not feeling well, the same happens to me. I want to run home to Peter and hold him and say, 'Now... From now on, I'll understand everything you say or think... everything you feel.' I want to hold him fast until he finds me. Why the hell don't we see each other, although we live together... and know each other well.
- Katarina Egermann: What are you thinking?
- Peter Egermann: That you're playing that old record: It was my fault. Forgive me, darling. Then you end up smelling like a rose.
- Peter Egermann: Silence harbors the truth. Her truth, that is. I don't have a truth. Fact is, Katarina has a life-long contract with the objective truth. Partly because she's a woman. As a woman, she's entitled to such views. And partly because she is Katarina, especially chosen and created by God.