A Vacation in Hell

OK... the movie wasn't TERRIBLE, but it was far from good. What really shocked me was the constant man-hating that the brunette kept spouting. That was the majority of her dialog. Not little snide remarks here and there. I mean full on, literally, "all men are evil."

Honestly, the only reason I sat through it as long as I did was because of Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormmick) and Teri from "Three's Company" (Priscilla Barnes). Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) is just an annoying whiny... thing - the exact opposite of her character on "Get Smart."

The story itself is contrived. The acting is subpar - especially coming from these people who know how to act. The lines - again, especially the strong-independent-don't-need-no-man brunette - are cringe to say the least. As I'm writing this, I'm trying to remember what it is that led me to give it the high score of five stars...

If you are a fan of any of the girls, you MIGHT enjoy it... if you can overlook all of the negatives about it. Otherwise... skip it.

Well, I saw this movie a while ago. I thought it was good, but cheap. By cheap I mean you sit through 2 hours waiting to see why this native is following them, then when you find out why, you want to rewind and watch something else. It lives up to its expectations until the last 10 minutes. It has a few good lines, but definitely too many repetitive ones. I liked the acting.

A single man takes 2 women, a mother and a daughter on a boat ride to a secluded beach from their vacation club on a raft. The raft pops when they reach the beach. They decide to wait, but there's a problem. The man rented it for 2 days. They decide to try to find their way back to the club but run into trouble along the way including finding dead animals on sticks, tigers, and natives. When they kill one native, another native comes after them. They try to run, but he keeps catching up with them. After 2 deaths, the purpose comes clear.

I loved Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) as the daughter on the trip. There is one messed up part where she dances to soft music and it looks weird. I gave this a vote of 8/10 and *** stars.

Well, if it comes on, watch it. It is a rare one. Don't let my review trick you. You will never find this one on video, of course, I have it. Just be warned. The "Terror Trap" web site claims it to be a horror. It is more of a Drama/Thriller/Adventure.

The real attraction is seeing Marcia Brady, Agent 99, Nurse Terri, and Dynasty's Claudia in this setting. Bellwood has the best scenes. if I were stranded in the Tropics, I'd want her with me. I was 8 years old and still remember it received "No Rating" in the TV listings, but I'd say this has to be seen to be believed. Warning: It probably got the "No Rating" because the ending ticked the reviewer off!!! I know it did for me. I would classify it as Action/Adventure.

Can there be a worst film? Even Ed Wood at his horrific worst couldn't come up with something this bad. Cheesy, stupid, long-winded, preposterous...and those are the good points. I saw this trash back in the early 80's when I was incredibly bored to begin with, and actually sat through the entire thing without blowing my brains out, although that probably would have been a more pleasant experience. I actually remembered it because it was so bad. It makes me sad in a way because some of the best directors got their start by making TV movies (ie Spielberg) and it was a wonderful way for them to get their initial material before the public, but crap like this just totally killed the entire process.

Ya gotta love this piece of trash. So what if the actors needed a little gin money, this romp through Satan's Club Med is worth all agonizing 2 hours. Someone should have warned the guests that the "waterslide" was a doozy. If only Gilligans Island were this treacherous. It's silly, poorly written, scenery chewing fun. I saw this when it first aired on TV when I was 11 years old and if I still remember it 23 years later, there's gotta be some fun to be had. Woo-Hoo!