- Michael Ryan: What are you guys doing tonight?
- Deborah Anne Fimple: Nothing much.
- Toni Williams: Kappa Omega party.
- Michael Ryan: Oh, you mean the homo house?
- Deborah Anne Fimple: Well one will crack jokes about others when they are insecure with their own masculinity.
- Michael Ryan: Oh, I hate guys like that. They're so immature.
- Steve Powers: [drives up] Hey beautiful! Want a ride?
- Michael Ryan: No thanks, Steve. I'll walk.
- Deborah Anne Fimple: [sarcastically] Real mature.
- [Toni has arranged for Debbie to meet her Secret Admirer]
- Deborah Anne Fimple: [wearing a teddy, posing in the mirror] What should I wear?
- Toni Williams: Something demure.
- Deborah Anne Fimple: Oh, yeah. Christian Demure. I've got tons of her stuff.
- Lou Fimple: [to Steve as he turns to leave] One more thing, lover boy...
- Deborah Anne Fimple: [rolls eyes in embarrassment] Oh, God.
- Lou Fimple: [pats his pistol] Get her pregnant, I'll blow your dick off.
- Deborah Anne Fimple: [as Lou leaves] DADDY!
- Toni Williams: Michael... I think you just won the Asshole of the Year Award.
- [slams the door in Michael's face]
- Michael Ryan: [has finished writing his letter to Debbie, he reads it before sealing it, impressed with his work] Jesus.
- Toni Williams: [steaming Michael's letter open and reading it, in disgust] JESUS!
- Deborah Anne Fimple: [reading Michael's letter by Toni, dreamily] Jesus...
- Toni Williams: [shouting through drive-through speaker] Did you tell your friends I boffed your brains out in your van?