Bridge Across Time

I bought this little sleep-fest on VHS years ago in a cutout bin and could barely finish watching it. It moves like Molasses in the dead of winter and telegraphs the story line like Marconi on Meth. But, that legendary old bridge still photographs with atmospherics that rival any Hammer horror flick from 20 years earlier! I've walked that bridge and as you lean over those massive stones you can literally sense the history under your feet. Chainsaw mogul Robert McCulloch developed Lake Havasu City AZ after buying 26 square miles of desert for about $75/acre, intending on turning it into an upscale resort and site for a new chainsaw factory. But, to draw people to the middle of nowhere he needed a hook.

When the City Of London announced they were going to auction off the 1831 historic span because it was sinking into the Thames River, McCulloch negotiated long and hard to buy it in 1968 for a stunning $2.4 million and then spent three years dismantling it stone-by-stone for the long journey to his desert oasis. It was carried by ship down through the Panama Canal then carried by trucks to it's final destination. And that bridge is BIG! 928 feet long and 62 feet wide, but each stone was numbered so the span could be reassembled like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle -the bridge is now listed as the world's largest antique. And they did an amazing job! There was even a smallish English "village" complete with costumed employees who hawked Americanized Fish and Chips from quaint little shops. Iconic -and authentic- red cast-iron phone booths and heraldic banners complete the look. I visited it in 1979, and even though most of the current resort wasn't even built yet, it was still a memorable experience.

So: even today that bridge is really something to see -especially in it's present incongruous location. And, YEAH: it's entirely possible that Jack the Ripper himself scuttled across those historic stones!

Another in a long line of Jack the Ripper returns movies. Every cornball cliche in the book was in this dull, routine, totally predictable yawner. A big city cop moves to Arizona as a way to avoid stress after a bad incident in Chicago. However, he runs into even more pressure when he gets on the trail of a serial murderer who slays in exactly the same fashion as the notorious 19th century London killer. Gad, what a stupid film.

Certainly not the level of a Hitchcock thriller, this movie was still kind of fun if you don't expect too much. Typical 80s style and fashion and a silly plot make this the kind of movie I remember seeing at an 8th-grade sleepover. If you are a

Randolph Mantooth fan like me, you'll appreciate seeing him in anything full

length. Unfortunately, his character is a bit goofy, but I'll take it. Don't bother if you want something that is scary or asks you to figure anything out. I would

recommend it only for a young group (contains nothing as gruesome as some of

today's treasures) or as background while you clean the house on a rainy

Sunday afternoon.

The opening shot of the movie was made outside-at night when the desert temperature was over 105 degrees F. The opening shot for the movie depicted Jack The Ripper in a long black cloak running stealthfully down a fog ladden street in London. The scene skillfully suggested a clold damp evening in London. The actual special effects produced by the crew were classic Hollywood. It seemed very surreal to watch this scene being shot over and over between 12:30 and 1:30 in the morning. The final cut depicted cold when the entire crew was literally crumbling from the heat. It was truly a treat to watch the skill and professionalism displayed just to get a take on approximately five seconds of movie film.

If you are into horror, you always have to remain open-minded towards flamboyant premises and plot descriptions that instantly seem like a terribly bad idea. Otherwise, you are guaranteed to miss out on fantastically absurd movies like "Terror at London Bridge". How imaginative is this? The one and only Jack the Ripper - from Whitechapel in London, England - reincarnates in a small town in Arizona, USA, simply because the town rebuilt the original Thames Bridge where the most notorious serial killer in history allegedly died. Good old Jackie Boy cheerfully picks up his one-hundred-year-old habits and starts slicing the throats of local ladies.

Now, as silly as it sounds, I nevertheless reckon that "Terror at London Bridge" was quite a prestigious and successful production around the time of its release, especially for a TV-movie. The Jack the Ripper character always works in horror film, and there even was a whole hype and revival due to the 100th anniversary of the 1888 Whitechapel killings. Lead actor David Hasselhoff was hotter than butter on popcorn in 1985, since the film came right in between of "Knight Rider" and "Baywatch". Despite the slightly - just slightly, mind you - implausible plot, the film has a handful of tense moments and the murders are above-average gruesome for a TV-film. The Hoff receives good support from a couple of familiar faces, including Clu Gulager, Lane Smith and the ravishing Adrienne Barbeau.