Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire

A strange little film that never made it at all. It deserved, perhaps, to develop something of a cult following, but this hasn't happened and the film will now, perhaps, slowly vanish from view forever.

Based on a strange and sometimes bewildering snooker match, this musical was never going to make it in the US. Why not? Well, they don't play much snooker in the States for a start but more to the point the film's two main characters are based on Ray Reardon and Jimmie White. These names are very familiar in the UK thanks to extensive snooker coverage on the television, but totally unknown in the USA.

I don't think Clarke was ever really at home directing this movie. It just isn't really his thing - a musical about snooker. He attempted to work in many more optical special effects but most of these were taken out in the final cut - a pity as some were so tongue in cheek that they might just have given the film a better chance of gaining a cult following. Clarke seemed, in the end, to err on the side of caution which is, perhaps, the failing of this film.

I am a transplanted Brit, and I saw B.T.K. the time it aired on the brand new channel four. I have been in America for years and even the most fiendish film fans I've met here have neither seen nor heard of this film. Such a pity. It is brilliant, funny, and more stylish than Paris in spring. And it's the best title Ever.

And I thought I was alone too.

My mates laughed in my face when I mentioned a film called 'Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire'.

I showed them the IMDb listing and the laughing stopped but I've never been able to show them the film itself.

Indeed I've not seen the film for at least 15 years.

I remember it from my childhood. I taped it from Channel 4 in a top-loading VHS recorder. I used to tape loads of films.

I remember its unique quirky style - its odd songs and that character that undoubtedly was a nod to Ray Readon the classic 'vampire' snooker player.

Alas through the years it was taped over - no doubt with a bond movie and I've not seen it since.

I doubt it will appear on DVD as its not quite mass-market material. But what a lovely off-beat film. I'd love to see it again.

"Green stamps...." (Spooky)

Cheers Phil

This is no ordinary musical. The plot is simple enough: Maxwell Randall (the Green Baize Vampire) is six times world snooker champion and Billy Kid is the cocky young upstart looking to steal his crown. Add to them T.O. (The One), Billy's wide boy manager, the Wednesday Man, to whom T.O. owes a large gambling debt, and Miss Sullivan, a trouble making journalist, and there you have it (apart from two sets of hangers on who make up the chorus). Basically, Maxwell wants to set up a grudge match (the loser will never play professional snooker again), the Wednesday Man tricks T.O. into accepting the challenge by assuring him that Maxwell will not be "at his best", and Billy finds that he has been set up to lose.

What makes this peculiar film work is the stark, to-the-point direction of Alan Clarke (responsible for such hard hitting productions as "Scum" and "The Firm") the rock/opera influenced music of the highly respected composer George Fenton ("The Madness of King George", "Cry Freedom", "Gandhi" etc.) and the clever scripting and original lyrics of Trevor Preston. Take into account three wonderfully tongue-in-cheek central performances from Phil Daniels (Billy), Alun Armstrong (Maxwell) and Bruce Payne (T.O.) and you have the ingredients for what I am quite happy to admit is my all time favourite film. There are those who may say that Clarke, Fenton, Daniels, Armstrong and Payne must have taken leave of their senses to agree to do such a downright weird project in the first place (I have a feeling that at least one of the above might even agree with those detractors) but I can't see anything wrong with a musical about snooker that includes references to Bela Lugosi and arcade games, has characters tangoing about and shooting snooker balls into pockets with the help of a revolver and basically, sends itself up with obvious glee.

I'd be the first to admit that the three lead actors have all done a great deal more admirable work than this. I've seen Alun Armstrong in countless stage productions and he never fails to impress. Bruce Payne was nothing short of breathtaking in Steven Berkoff's "Greek" and Phil Daniels as Alex in the RSC's "A Clockwork Orange" is still one of the most outstanding performances I've ever seen from any actor, on any stage, anywhere. However, I will always remain particularly fond of the off-the-wall characters that the three brought to life in this wonderful film and I don't care what anyone else says, I think it's just great.

If you haven't already seen "Billy the Kid & the Green Baize Vampire" you'll be extremely lucky if you ever do. It was first shown on UK television in the mid-eighties and has, I think, been repeated just once. Zenith Productions sold the rights (or whatever it is they do) some time ago and, search as I may, I've been unable to locate it. I'm just grateful that I had the forethought to tape it when Channel Four showed it all those years ago and only hope that my VCR never gets hungry and chews it up!

My enthusiasm for this film probably does no more than give it a one woman cult following but if there are any more odd little "BTK..." fans out there, please add your comments; it'd be comforting to know that I'm not alone.

At it's time of making, Snooker Tournaments were big pullers for TV audiances in the UK so it is suprising that this film didn't make it to the cult status that it might have made if repeat showings had taken place. I made an off-air copy onto a Video-8 tape which still plays via a digital camcorder (thank you Mr Sony) though I'm not sure whether it picks up the PCM digital soundtrack. I generally like watching any roles that Phil Daniels played, this may be zany, but it is still good