Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues

My review was written in December 1985 after a Times Square screening.

Charles B. Pierce's "Boggy Creek II", made in 1983, finally arrived in New York with the misleading retitle "The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek Part II". Pic is actually a very mild and folksy piece of regional filmmaking in which it is clear that the filmmaker (who doubles as his own leading man) really likes the creatures. Though labeled number 2, pic is actually the third trip to Boggy Creek, since Pierce's 1972 hit "The Legend of Bobby Creek" was followed in 1977 by a film aimed at the kiddies (and made not by Pierce but by Tom Moore) called "Return to Boggy Creek".

Pierce stars as Bryan Lockhart, a University of Arkansas professor of anthropology who is pulled away from a football game (where the Razorbacks are beating Tulsa) to investigate reports that the Boggy Creek creature is on the loose again. He quickly rounds up an expedition peopled by student Tim (Chuck Pierce, the director's son) and two pretty girls (Cindy Butler, Serene Hedin).

Quartet travels south to Texarkana to interview folks who've sighted the beast. Camping out, they set up a computerized system of sensors to track the nearly 400-pound creature's movements. Pierce includes fuzzy-focus flashbacks illustrating previous tales of this creature's contacts with humanity. Pic doesn't really pick up steam until the final reel when Jimmy Clem appears in a fine acting turn as a hermit who has captured the creature's offspring which he is holding as bait to attract the parent. Prof. Lockhart lets both creatures go, intoning the film's message that they're part of nature living in harmony and ought to be left alone to roam free.

The creature looks like a man in a gorilla suit and film is painfully short on thrills. This type of filmmaking went out with the wilderness adventures, whose heyday was a decade ago.

My friend bought two DVDs for a pound (i.e. under $1 each) figuring that no matter how poor the films, the cases they came in would be worth the expenditure. That gives you some idea of what value the bottom end of UK retailing places on this...

If you look at the credits: Written by Charles B Pierce, Directed by Charles B Pierce, Starring Charles B Pierce, Chuck Pierce, Mack Pierce (who probably provided his own boat), Pam Pierce (who I think did the make-up too), Coke scrounged from (here) Jeep borrowed from (here), Computer borrowed from (here) etc. you get the impression this is a family "let's help Dad/Charles out here" movie on the tightest budget and a lot of goodwill.

The most frightening experience for Charles & the kids seemed to be an incident when a dog barked at them (a lot). Despite being armed Charles was unable to get a single shot in the noisy animal even at close range, utterly pathetic.

Think of people in monkey suits, literally. I found a slight tendency to smile when I saw a monkeyed-up kid 'attacking' someone, but the entire thing was very poor indeed. I can't remember why I forced myself to watch this, but force myself I did. Perhaps it was a desire to see the credits that kept me going?

Never, ever - life's too short.

I'm so glad that I saw this on MST3K; I don't know how anyone could have liked this film otherwise. The pointless trip into the woods, the bizarre flashback scenes, and Crenshaw make this film an absolute delight to destroy. The scene where they first encounter the creature in the woods is enough to put you over the edge. And Crenshaw is a classic character in the whole Boggy Creek extravaganza. The pathetic road scene where they encounter a headless deer. And if a shirtless Tim doesn't make you want to do push-ups, nothing will. I could go on and on about this movie. Just remember, if you are ever tracking a creature in the swamp, be sure to bring along two women and tell a story about an outhouse and a Sears catalog.

In the untouched primordial swamplands of rural Arkansas lurks a giant creature, 8 feet tall and covered with hair. It's either Slash, Rob Zombie or Bigfoot. No one is sure, for those who have seen it are not believed or have not lived to tell the tale. That doesn't stop smarmy Professor Lockhart from taking a couple of his prize students and a whiny girl with a bad perm down into the swamps to look for the monster.

This movie reeks like an outhouse in high summer...and, in fact, features an outhouse scene that we could all do without. The hillbilly's look frighteningly like the real thing and are a lot scarier than the Boggy Creek Creature. Cindy Butler whines and screams her way through the entire film, making you wish that Boggy would rip her head off. Charles Pierce as Lockhart is so annoyingly smug and condescending you'll be wishing he'd run afoul of the Deliverance cast. Serene Hedin as Tanya must have been wondering what the hell happened, going from the beautiful film "Windwalker" to this dung heap. Poorly acted, badly lit and simply boring. Stick with the MST3K version of this film.

There's a thin line between movies and documentaries. Boggy Creek straddles that line and steps deep in outhouse fecal matter. Where do we start? Yes, incessant flashbacks which don't really add much to getting us anywhere in the story. Besides, these witnesses forget to add in: "Maybe it was the gallon of moonshine I was chugging...". Boggy looks like an outcast from Ape City . Oh, but I wish there was more Boggy cause we get unending scenes of Professor Know-it-All, his son, oops, I mean Tim the Topless assistant, and two gals who whine about lost cosmetics. Boggy Creek 2 gives you that first hand experience of stepping into the edge of a mucky swamp, feeling your leg sliding into mud while trying to pull yourself out to no avail and rodents, lemurs, and vicious canids chew on your flesh for an afternoon snack.

An extra star goes to Ol' Man Crenshaw. You know, 3 miles down, first cabin on the right? Crenshaw makes a quick cameo, but man, it's so needed. In overalls and everything, Crenshaw is the epitome of Boggy Creek as his pyromaniacal tendencies kick in anyone's "fight or flight" instincts. Either that or his emanating stench. So, watch this for laughs a la MST style and remember: it's coma-inducing!

Sponsored by the Arkansas Caps Inc.