Warrior of the Lost World

Elegantly, wonderfully, deliciously bad. The only way to truly appreciate this cinematic train wreck is to watch the MST3K version (less than a minute into the opening credits, Tom Servo asks, "Is it too late to kill myself?") Robert Ginty mumbles and grumbles his "dialog", Donald Pleasance reprises his many roles as the androgenous bad-ass, and a supporting cast of extras resembling Jimmy Carter, Saddam, Bluto, and Mimi keep things moving. One of the many films that makes an inexact science of ballistics -- no one with a gun can manage to even nick another character with a shot, even at point-blank range. Worth seeing, if only to watch in sadistic delight as "Megaweapon" runs over Einstein, the squeaky-voiced, talking motorcycle.

Somebody please explain this movie to me. What exactly was the plot again? What was "the Warrior" saying during the whole thing? What was that battle royal all about? If "the Warrior had just waited four seconds to pick up Persis Khambatta in the helicopter, would there have been a point in finishing the movie? Where did they find a black Nazi? What was the point of Megaweapon, which really seemed pretty weak (Oooh! A flamethrower!)?

Save yourself. Run from this movie and don't look back. The only way to survive this horror is the MST3K version, but it still hurts.

A "Star Wars"-style word scroll informs us that the nuclear war has been fought, leaving the Earth a post-apocalyptic wasteland, but the world we see in the movie isn't very wastelandy at all, what with all the scenic country roads and large office complexes. We meet "The Warrior" (Robert Ginty), a completely average and fairly loathsome guy who crashes his "Supersonic Speed Cycle" into a very obvious and easily avoidable wall. This convinces some fey, robe-clad elderly types that he is some sort of chosen one, so Fred "Hammer" Williamson and Persis "Star Trek" Kambata (with hair) enlist him to help save her Jimmy Carter-like father from the vaguely evil Prossor (enduring fav Donald Pleasance, great as always). What evil things Prossor is up to are unclear, although they involve lots of Nazi-looking guards who turn into dummies when they fall off of buildings. Plus he employs lots of leather-clad S&M dancers who stretch and gyrate all over each other, which doesn't seem very evil at all to me.

Anyhoo, despite his constant whining and lack of any discernible skills, The Warrior succeeds in saving Carter, only to leave Persis behind for no reason other than him being a total jerk. He and Carter go to a fight in the desert that looks like the one from the beginning of "Any Which Way You Can", save for the monkey pooping in squad cars. After fighting a bunch of random characters (ninjas, amazons, truckers, a lumberjack dwarf, a Divine look-a-like) he gets them all to unite to take on Prossor, who employs "Megaweapon" to demolish them. Megaweapon is a giant truck modified to spurt flames out it's front and- that's about it. It's really slow and clunky and easy to avoid, but it does manage to crush Warrior's incredibly annoying bike (which, I failed to mention, talks. In a Valley Girl voice. Ick.). Megaweapon easily out-acts the unintelligible Ginty.

Some other stuff happens and they rescue Persis, following which Mr. Warrior lays a big, wet, long, nauseating kiss on her, rubbing his livery lips and stubbly beard all over her entire face for several excruciating minutes. She seems to enjoy it, even though he's a twit who left her behind to die at Prossor's hands. Oh, and there's a plot twist that fails to make any sense or have any impact on the story, but at least they put forth the effort to have a twist.

I recommend this movie to any one who gets emotionally erect over explosions. There are lots of things blowing up, sometimes in luxurious slow motion. Sometimes we get to see the same explosion from many angles. It's pyro-porno.

When i bought this movie's DVD, I didn't know it was from Italy. After I saw that all the vehicles used throughout are Italian, I learned it. Though it does not respect the initial promises - the landscapes and overall atmosphere are pretty good and live to be post-apocalyptic - it has it very high points: some good fighting scenes, a great soundtrack, very nice sound effects (though not used very well, like in the firing guns) and nice landscapes. And Donald Pleasence makes a great acting job as the Omega leader. Not to mention this movie's platinum items: the speaking hit tech motorbike (i didn't listen to the English voice, but its Italian version is really bad) with its onboard computer. And obviously the great, awesome Megaweapon!!!!

Though this movie is not an epic masterpiece, it has its good points and therefore demands to be watched, since it still remains a very nice Italian Sci-Fi movie. Get it :)

A hilariously bad rip off of Mad Max - dubbed "Sad Max" by Joel Hodgson on MST3K - about a jag-off loner, played by Robert "Paper Chase Guy" Ginty, who gets caught up in a plot by the Outsiders and their Elders to overthrow an evil government tyrant played by Donald Pleasance, who must have needed the money real bad, chosen because he is "pure in spirit" despite being a total prick with very little in the way of honor, courage, nobility, etc, yet somehow able to fly helicopters and shoot straight. In order to save the day, Paper Chase Guy has to recruit a rag tag group of idiots including geeks/Renegade Burger King Window Guys, a few soldiers, a black Nazi, white Ninjas, Amazons, truckers, a dwarf lumber-jack and "the Beige Berets". The late great Star Trek chick Persis Khmbata shows up as eye candy, also presumably because she must have needed the money really bad, and Fred Williamson plays a guy who starts out with the heroes but then turns out to be a villain. Lots of car crashes, people getting beaten up, run over, shot, blown to bits, etc.

More hilarious ineptitude than you can shake a stick at, this was one of the best Mystery Science Theatre 3000 rift fests ever. It should be viewed no other way.