Screwballs

Well, I guess I asked for it. I don't know what I was expecting except for some skin and laughs. What I got was plenty of skin and a few laughs. Trouble is there was no let-up to the goofiness, sort of like a flood that eventually overwhelms you. I wish there were a few slower moments, less packed with repetition, so I might enjoy the the more memorable ones. But no, it's like the film-makers couldn't stop piling it on, like a cup of sugar and spice pouring into an open mouth. After all, there are only so many instances of girls playing with wieners or humping their butts before amusement weakens. And that's too bad, because there're touches of imaginative humor, especially the first part with the Detention segment or the verbally constipated French teacher. Anyway, don't expect a high school diploma after viewing, otherwise you too may end up in detention with all the bra-less girls that go with it. Now please, how can I get put into that strip-tease detention!

In my review for the similarly themed ZAPPED AGAIN!, I noted that it came across as a whitewashed T&A offering that was much better received as a puerile comedy than anything voyeuristic in nature. SCREWBALLS, which was apparently made on a much lower budget and with much less renowned performers, is the exact opposite - a chaotic carnival of soft-core porn in which the humor is at best unremarkable and at worst painful.

Some have compared this movie to NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE, but that comparison is extremely unjust. You see, ANIMAL HOUSE was not just an excuse to show drunken frat boys and girls in their underwear. It also tackled such trenchant topics as class conflict, race relations, and the lure of irresponsibility in a hopelessly puritanical and joyless world. I view it more as a poignant examination of the trials and tribulations of adolescence than as the purely tawdry slice of camp which it's usually tagged. The makers of SCREWBALLS do not deserve to lick the boots of John Landis and company.

SCREWBALLS was put together by a gaggle of confirmed slackers with absolutely no regard for taste and decency. The movie is unabashedly politically incorrect (granted, the idea of "political correctness" did not exist as such in the early 1980s; but these guys violated most of its tenets just the same) and is based on the erroneous belief that high school boys do not care about anything other than sex. While the members of Delta Tau Chi may not have been above reproach, at least they didn't spend most of their time trying to separate the prom queen from her clothes.

If you are a diehard fan of this genre, I don't want to spoil the ending for you. Let's just say that it involves sartorial decay and magnets, and leave it at that.

Female moviegoers will probably not enjoy SCREWBALLS because of its sexist nature, so I recommend that they skip it. Their male counterparts, on the other hand, might have a good time. But remember this, fellows: a movie about female stripping becomes less and less entertaining every time you see it - so limit your viewing of SCREWBALLS to one night.

A movie that could only be made in the early 80's. It has a very USA "Up All Night with Rhonda Shear" vibe to it except with a lot more nudity. It's very much Porky's redheaded step child as the entire plot is 5 high school guys trying to see a high school virgin named Purity's boobs. A mission that no man has yet to accomplish. Yes that is the plot.

There's a scene where they go strip bowling and the stereotypical typical nerd gets his member stuck in one of the holes. A couple girls get him all worked up and he "shoots" the ball down the lane for a strike. Why did I give this movie 3 stars again?

This film will definitely cause you to rewind a few times, and fast-forward a lot more, because huge sections of it are predictable and flat to the point of humorless. The four main male characters... I hated them, but they seem to be somewhat accurate. Rafal Zielinski is a competent director, and the editor has rendered some rather effective "speed up" gags.

Here and there, a good line is said, or a good piece of physical comedy is shown, but it's usually the script, not the way it's delivered, that's funny. And most of the nudity... To be frank, you get sick of it by sheer repetition (Wow, EVERY character is sort a deviant... boring) and want to see a character you can actually like.

Now, on to Linda Shayne,

She's hardly a prolific director these days, and some of her material is borderline vomitably kid-oriented(Flying Ryan, Purple People Eater), but she is still skilled at suiting the needs of the right target audience. Plus, she is more attractive than the rest of the female cast combined. It's a shame that she couldn't have gotten herself the female lead as Purity: her acting skills and physique are much better. Much more likely to draw a guy like me over to the cause of feminism than Ann Coulter or Oprah Winfrey

In short, she's the reason I am really mad that the local movie rental has lost its copy of this tape.

Oh my god! Screwballs should be at the top of everyone's list for a comedy on bad movie night! The story deals with five horny guys at T&A High(get it?)who try in the vain to attract the attention of the only virgin left in school-Miss Purity Bush! This flick turned the world on to the phenomenon known as strip bowling-which results in the most eye opening scene since the end of Sleepaway Camp and makes good use of spanish fly and magnetism. Acting honors go to Purity's mom,dad and the fat guy in the meatlocker. All in all a classic not for the whole family.