Satomi hakken-den

Swords and sorcery films are one of my preferred genres and a pleasant pass time for me and when I came across this lesser known gem of a movie; imagine my surprise when (for me at least) it ticked most if not all boxes. In fact this is not a S&S movie like say "The sword and the sorcerer" or the two original "Conan" movies but it is an enjoyable (cheesey) rendition of the genre. It wold be better to say that this is a genre of it's own, namely Samurai, magic and princesses. OK, so what did I make of this hokey and laughable highly enjoyable film? Well...in a nutshell...I really enjoyed it. Slow to start off but stick with it and it grows on you. Of course we have the well known actor Sony Chiba in this (from "kill Bill" as if you don't know) which is reason alone to see this. There was one song in this that got stuck in my head and I had to know what it was called. Having hit a dead end using Siri on my iPhone to identify the song I headed to the good ol' internet and IMDb where i discovered that the song was written especially for the dubbed version of this movie and not a bonafied standalone song. Nevertheless I managed to get a copy and play it on iTunes now.I would love to know what other people make of this movie and the soundtrack so if you are into sword, sorcery, samurais and light shows (don't ask) then give this a chance. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

Satomi Hakkenden will be understood the moment the viewer realizes that the soulful, classically Japanese score is being played on a cheap Casio synthesizer, and that somehow that is good. Being one of the country's very traditional legends (stolen from China), the writers drew from literary sources to make their movie, and it shows. The movie has heaping doses of melodrama, decapitations, and dead children. It also has characters dressed like a costume shop exploded, giant flying snakes hanging by ropes, a truly terrible 70's power ballad love song, and a plot so stereotypically Japanese it can be considered prototypical.

None of that is to say that the movie is bad. All of those things add to the ambiance of the movie. It also contains incredible special effects for 1983, some of the moments are surprisingly poignant, and the fight scenes are great. The plot may be telegraphed from a mile away, but it is still entertaining to watch it all unfold. If you are at all a fan of Japanese culture, you have seen this movie before, in one way or another. Yet if this sounds at all appealing to you, you owe it to yourself to see the original. Satomi Hakkenden deserves a larger spot in great camp history.

Legend of Eight Samurai...aka...Japanese Ripoff of American Blockbusters of late 70s and early 80s.

The majority of the plot stitched together by the patchwork of the first three Star Wars films.

So bitterly ironic since Lucas has credited the Japanese classic The Hidden Fortress by the late, great Akira Kurosawa as a heavy influence for his first Star Wars film.

Open as an evil empire converges at their fortress to solidify their evilness with the heads of the entire royal family. All save for one! A Princess?! They need to find the princess to complete their task!

And of course, that feisty princess is on her way to meet up with her uncle.

But runs into a feisty, bratty pretty-boy who wants to be a fighter like the others. As well as her older protector who will unite a band of special warriors to defeat the Empire... Sound familiar?

This flick is chock-ful-o-Lucas-clichés:

Darth Vader...err... I mean, the evil queen proclaiming the pretty-boy is her son. NOOOO! I'll never join you!

The group fighting a serpentine creature in the trash compacto...err... I mean, bowels of the Death Sta...err... I mean, Castle.

Obi Wan...err... I mean, Sonny Chiba's character constantly being the sage leading the feisty princess... all the while knowing his time is finite.

There's even rip-offs of the other great Lucas franchise, Raiders of the Lost Ark:

The re-creation of the famous boulder opening. Snakes, why does it always have to be snakes. And the over-abundance of pistols... even though everything else in the film dates it to a time long before pistols were even invented. Speaking of which, you gotta dig the times when they failed to eliminate modern elements from the shots. Like telephone poles.

Still, campy fun. Thought truly painful at times. Like the love scene with the cheesy early 80s rock ballad score. They keep cutting back and forth between some painful, badly framed love-making shot and one of the eight samurai statues. So you keep counting off each Samurai statue shot, urging the editor to cut to another statue fast in order to end the painful scene.

And as far as that other review I read that claimed video games ripped THIS movie off?! That is giving this little seen flick far too much credit.

SATOMI HAKKENDEN (Literally `Satomi (Clan) Eight Dog (Samurai) Legend') is a silly yet enjoyable romp that is a true guilty pleasure for Japanese Action Movie fans, mixing elements of Fantasy, Romance, Adventure and Traditional Samurai Drama (Chambara).

Inspired by the massive 106 Volume, 1814 epic Japanese novel `Nanso Satomi Hakkenden,' by Takizawa (Kyokutei) Bakin, SATOMI HAKKENDEN attempts to modernize and reinterpret the legend of the Eight `Dog' Heroes of the Satomi Clan of Awa Province, whose Princess Fume upon her tragic death gives birth to the Hakkenshi (Eight Samurai) whose spirits are reincarnated in human form carrying mystic crystal beads signifying the virtues of Confucianism (Jin-Sympathy, Gi=Duty/Justice, Rei=Proper Form, Chi=Wisdom, Chuu=Loyalty, Shin=Faith, Kou=Filial Piety, and Tei=Brotherly Affection).

Shizu (Yakushimaru, Hiroko) is a descendent of Princess Fume and is being hunted by the sinister forces of the Hikita Clan, whose Black Magic wielding, Lady Tamazusa (Natsuki, Mari) needs Shizu's blood to give herself eternal beauty (somewhat Snow White-like). Enter the Hakkenshi who attempt to protect Shizu from Tamazusa's minions and her Black Magic spawned threats. During the course of their adventures, Shizu falls in love with one of her protectors, the wild-child Shinbei (Sanada, Hiroyuki) who just so happens to be the bastard son of Lady Tamazusa.

1980's `Super Producer', Hiroyuki Kadokawa and legendary maverick director Kinji Fukusaku team-up once again to bring together this loud, Special-Effects laden spectacular with mixed results.

The action is superb, compliments to Chiba, Shinichi (aka J.J./Sonny Chiba), Shiomi, Etsuko (aka Sue Shiomi) and the rest of the Japan Action Club and their unique blend of swordplay and martial arts action.

Much time is spent on the romance between Shizu and Shinbei. At the time Yakushimaru was the darling of Japanese Cinema, having just come off of her Box Office smash hit `Sailor Fuku Tou Kikanju' (Sailor Dress and Machinegun) and Kadokawa wastes little time exploiting her new found popularity.

Yet, the story is slow at times and often confusing as a parade of characters march past the screen. Characterization for the Hakkenshi is almost non-existent, save for their stereotypical attributes (the staunch leader, the brooding androgynous samurai, the mysterious warrior princess, the tall and silent muscleman, the token kid and the `bad-guy' turned `good guy').

SATOMI HAKKENDEN is a pure `popcorn' movie for the teenage set.

LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI, on its most base level, is every kid's dream movie: it has eight (count 'em!) mystical warriors, immortality, monsters and evil deities, sacrifices and heroic deeds, and a pointless breast or two. Unfortunately, the elements of the film fail to tie together into a good, coherent film.

The movie deals with a princess destined to destroy some evil undead guys (unfortunately, they're not zombies, which are always B-movie gold). Told through a confusing Chinese manuscript back story, she is apparently the reincarnation of a martyred girl from generations ago. Over the course of 133 long minutes, she is joined by the titled eight warriors (although I think only two of them even come close to being samurai...), including Sonny Chiba as the typical fighter-dude, a huge cave-dweller and his son, a female ninja assassin, and an evil general who sees the light side...or something.

As earlier mentioned, this movie is one of those martial-arts epics that attempts to cram everything that should be cool into one two-hour feature. This story might work exceedingly well as a video game (Final Fantasy, anyone?) but just as FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRITS WITHIN failed to convey a sense of a coherent world, LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI also tends to focus more on (poorly conceived) set pieces and monsters than atmosphere and action. There are a few good moments to be found in the ending storm of the bad-guy fortress, but the sacrifices made and the triumph attained mean nothing to the viewer due to the huge amount of material thrown in their face. My rating: 6/10