Lumaban ka, Satanas

Efren C. Pinon's Philippine film Killing of Satan must be one of the worst films I've ever seen! It stars bunch of amateurs without even a small ability to act, and the whole film is so ridiculous. The "story" is something about some people travelling to some island, where strange things happen, and soon Satan himself appears there!! I really cannot tell plenty about the plot since it all is very confusing and I found myself laughing for most of the time. This film is so laughably bad it's enjoyable!

How can this kind of people ever appear in film? Especially the main character Lando is so wooden, boring and un-charismatic, it is total miracle he was chosen as an actor for this "film!" The acting is of course non existent by all the actors, and everyting else sucks, too. The effects are as ridiculous as possible, as guys shoot funny laser beams from their arms, which make funny noises as the beams fly! I almost killed myself because the laugh-o-meter was so high! World absolutely needs these trash movies since sometimes it is great to relax and enjoy these non-sense turkeys! This was without a doubt intended as serious adventure/horror film, but it fails horribly. The Satan is played by two different actors, and the other one is very fat while the other ain't! The costumes of Satan and other characters are so laughable and they probably found them from some local flea market. The film was without a doubt shot at someone's backyard and the total budget was perhaps less than a ten year old's week money. There is some blood and one fairly cool face ripping, but that's all there is in the "horror department" and I really don't know what the other reviewer means by talking something about some "snuff" scenes in this film!! I watched this smut back on Dutch VHS which is without a doubt the uncut version.

The funniest thing about all this is that I didn't know what kind of film this is, and I expected this to be some serious foreign horror film with some merits as a genre film. You can imagine what was my amazement like when the first laser rays and pair of tricot appeared! I'm happy this film was bad in a way that I managed to enjoy it since if it was so bad it's unenjoyable, I definitely wouldn't have been able to sit through this. Now the film runs 90 minutes, and is pure nonsense whole time, but due to its unintentional comic status this was so much fun, but one has to appreciate trash in order to "enjoy" stuff like Killing of Satan. One part of me hates this film for the reason it wasn't a serious horror as I thought, and another part loves this for same reasons and the film being so stupid and funny.

It is impossible to rate this film, since this is so full of trash and nonsense, others just love it and others hate. I think that due to the fact that this managed to make me laugh a lot, I'll give this 2/10 and that's still pretty much! The director is definitely a genius!

When the Devil's minions begin to terrorise his village and kidnap his daughter, a powerful magician's nephew decides to take action and discovers that he has inherited his uncle's gift of magic in this decidedly offbeat horror film from the Philippines. True to the title, the protagonist does eventually find himself fighting against Satan incarnate, but his minion battles are actually the highlight here as he has to fend off shape-shifting snakes, minions who kill by staring cross-eyed at their victims and the list goes on. Amusing as all this might sound, 'The Killing of Satan' remains a rather mixed bag overall. The first half-hour is actually pretty dry cut with only a single nightmare involving a boulder death standing out. The special effects are also incredibly cheesy and unrealistic to the point that the film is never all that scary and there are some irritating silly sound effects too, not mention many ridiculous costumes. There remains, however, something quite appealing about the filmmakers taking such an uncanny premise and running with it. The dialogue is not exactly first rate, however, the film is played straight (not as a comedy) and while never all that frightening, there are some genuinely unsettling moments to be had - plus where else can one find a film in which its hero defeats a snake by tying it into a knot and throwing it over a pile of rocks?

The Killing of Satan is a terrible movie with an awful lot of charm because of it, the best kind! If you are into the "so bad it's good" mentality this film is definitely a must see. In a movie production sense this film is criminally woeful, with one of the worst plots and some of the tackiest editing, acting and costumes you will ever see. Despite this, it is highly entertaining with a strong camp appeal. Lando, a 30 something average looking man with an awesome gay porn mustache is the protagonist and the sheer ludicrousness of his plight is enough to have you in stitches. This is only the tip of the iceberg however, get this movie for a rainy day.

The Killing of Satan (AKA: Lumaban ka, Satanas) - 1983 (This Films Rates a C ) A crazy super low budget Filipino film where a mustachioed man named Lando fights to save his daughter from Satan. "You're yellow Satan!" But first he is unknowingly summoned by his dead uncle to battle The Prince of Magic and his evil posse. The prince has these rays from his hands that can incapacitate. The dead uncle guides Lando through his journey. Eventually learning of his true superhuman powers and learning he can heal plus withstand bullets. The film gets kind of weird from there. There are fake explosions, fake rockslides down a mountain, snake slapping and tying the body into a knot, shape shifters, phony yet entertaining combat scenes including fisticuffs and hand rays, the defeat of Satan and lots of snakes. The script and acting are not meant to be funny but are, mainly due to the extremely absurd dubbing. There are too many examples of this. Sometimes the storyline gets lost and often times it's just plain bad. The gore and effects are mild and not anything exciting. There are boobs. It is ok for what it is.

I'll start by mentioning this is a Filipino-made horror-fantasy film. If you've ever seen a Filipino horror movie then you know you're in for a wild wacky horrorificly (is that a word?) entertaining time.

In this movie a paunchy mustachioed jeans jacket wearing Filipino human named Lando who uses the super powers of God is chosen by his dead uncle to battle the forces of evil. Before actually getting to battle Satan, he must first face the equally impressive mustachioed Prince of Magic who wears a bright red jumpsuit and cape (kinda like something Elvis might wear) and his minions and free the naked and chubby Filipino girls who were stolen from the village. This movie has so much imagination packed into 90 minutes you just have to like it in spite of the cheap-jack animated super powers everyone seems to have.

Also included in this wild flick are some pretty decent old school horror FX including a man (the dead uncle) who gets literally flattened by a huge boulder and is reduced to a still talking head connected a wet pile of flat intestines and gore. There is also an amazing ripping scene that will make you rewind more than once. (You'll know it when you see it) I'm sure most people after viewing this film would be like…"WTF!!?" but I've always got a kick out of it. I've had the BIG BOXED VHS version of this film in my collection for probably 15 years. Not sure if it's even available anymore which is a shame. If you want to be entertained, this flick is just the thing. I highly recommend it.