- Vince Pinner: Pen, what's wrong with you?
- Penny Warrender: Can't you tell?
- Vince Pinner: What?
- Penny Warrender: God, what a zonko! Vincent, you are the most cretinous, slow-witted, irritating moron that I've ever come across.
- Vince Pinner: Don't mince words with me, Pen. Have you got something to say?
- Penny Warrender: What have you been doing with yourself today, hmm?
- Vince Pinner: Well, I've been window shopping. Looking for new bedding, that sort of thing.
- Daphne Warrender: [sarcastically] Pity the army surplus store has closed down.
- Vince Pinner: Yes. I imagine you must miss it terribly, Daphne.
- Les Pinner: You mollycoddle that boy too much, Reet. It's unhealthy.
- Rita Pinner: What do you mean unhealthy?
- Les Pinner: He's developing one of them oedipus complexes.
- Rita Pinner: I don't care what's wrong with him as long as he loves his mum.
- Penny Warrender: Do you mind if I have a wine?
- Vince Pinner: Why not, it's all you've been doing since you got here.
- Daphne Warrender: What kind of a future would you have with "Thing"? He's an idle, itinerant worker drifting from job to job always on the edge of legality - an ice cream vendor, a used car salesman, and now a bookie.
- Penny Warrender: One day Vince will inherit the family business.
- Daphne Warrender: That's something to look forward to, isn't it? One day your husband will manage a few scrap metal yards!
- Penny Warrender: No he wont. He intends to sell them.
- Daphne Warrender: How much do you think he'll get for that?
- Penny Warrender: Well, according to his father, at the last audit, they were valued at two and a half million pounds.
- Norman Warrender: [shocked] Two and a half million?
- Penny Warrender: [smugly] Yes.
- Daphne Warrender: [after a long pause] Well, I've said everything I'm going to say. You must do as you think fit, darling.
- [Penny is cuddling up to Vince on the sofa]
- Penny Warrender: [tenderly and seductively] I used to dream about you. I used to dream about your body.
- Vince Pinner: [surprised] Did you?
- Penny Warrender: [laughing] I used to dream the police came round and asked me to identify it!
- [Les is telling Vince about a villain that he stood up to]
- Les Pinner: He used to be an enforcer for the Kray Brothers - till they sacked him for being too aggressive. He knew I was earning and he wanted his cut. Now unlike you, Vincent, I ain't never been a fighting man. But I knew I had a straight choice. I either paid him what he wanted and had him on my back for the rest of my natural, or I fronted him out. And that's what I did. I was scared, petrified, but I stood up to him. And do you know what? I discovered I had an inner strength. It was as if it weren't me fighting - it was another feller, stronger than me, who had no fear. Every blow was considered in a calm and clinically violent way. George Fimbo never came near or by that yard again.
- Vince Pinner: And were you hurt?
- Les Pinner: Hurt? Three months in a convalescent home, eighteen months before I could walk without a stick!
- Stan: 'ere let me ask you something, who's in charge here?
- Vince Pinner: Go on, Stan. I ain't heard this one.
- Stan: You are the assistant manager, I make the decisions.
- Vince Pinner: Stanley, so far today you've decided to turn down good business, give fraud a bad name, and to accept a bet on an elephant race. In my opinion you are to bookmaking what Wayne Sleep is to rugby league. No offence.
- Norman Warrender: Daphne...
- Daphne Warrender: Yes, Norman?
- Norman Warrender: Do you still... well, do you still get a thrill from... well, you know...
- Daphne Warrender: Oh, for heavens sake, Norman. We are in the 1980s, if you mean sex then say... thingy.
- Norman Warrender: Amazing article in this magazine. Were you aware that 76% of women in the over 40s group have only ever made love to one man in their entire life?
- Vince Pinner: Really, does it give his name?
- Norman Warrender: Darling, think back to when we were younger. Now, I can still remember our first time.
- Daphne Warrender: Amazing, Norman. I can hardly remember the last time.
- Vince Pinner: Pen, what I have to say isn't going to be easy. So would you just for this once allow me to speak without interrupting? You see, Pen...
- Penny Warrender: What do you mean interrupting? I never interrupt.
- Vince Pinner: No. I must be thinking of someone else.
- Penny Warrender: Yes, you must.
- Vince Pinner: She loves me, Pen.
- Penny Warrender: Yes, but what about me?
- Vince Pinner: She's never met you but I think you'd get on like a house on fire.
- Penny Warrender: It isn't an easy decision. My future hangs in the balance. I can either accept the company's offer, build a career, travel, have total fulfillment and enjoyment of life... or I can marry Vince.
- Daphne Warrender: And what are you going to do?
- Penny Warrender: I haven't decided yet.
- Daphne Warrender: Norman, will you speak to her?
- Norman Warrender: You do whatever you think is best, darling.
- Daphne Warrender: Keep out of this, Norman.
- Penny Warrender: How can I find out if he has met someone else?
- Elaine: Ask him.
- Penny Warrender: He'd lie.
- Elaine: How do you know?
- Penny Warrender: He's a liar.
- [repeated line]
- Clifford Pinner: It weren't my fault.
- Rita Pinner: Course it weren't, babe! No-one's blamin' ya.
- Penny Warrender: The very first night we met you tried your luck.
- Vince Pinner: Nothing happened between us for a long time.
- Penny Warrender: Only because I wouldn't allow it. I'd known you for exactly one hour. You'd bought me a coca-cola and tried to undo my bra. I can remember thinking "I'm glad I didn't order a Bacardi with it".