Inseminoid

Male and female scientists set up a research lab on a distant planet and encounter a giant, bug-eyed alien monster. It kills several people, rapes Judy Geeson and disappears, but the horrors are just beginning. Geeson becomes a hard-to-kill, hysterical madwoman with super strength who kills for blood to feed the alien's mutant offspring, which she's now carrying.

This Brit ALIEN clone is often inept and entirely contrived, but not completely without entertainment value. FX are mediocre, but it's bloody, fast-paced and there's a great electric score from John Scott. Judy Geeson is excellent in a role that requires a hell of a lot of merciless ranting and screaming.

HORROR PLANET refers to the original U.S. release of the film, which was cut. The title INSEMINOID refers to the uncut, letterboxed DVD and cable version.

Score: 3 out of 10

A friend bought me the DVD of Inseminoid knowing I like bad SF films. Boy did he hit the mark with this piece of sh!t. Thanks Mike.

Another of the countless Alien inspired ripoffs with any attempts at any Science Fiction elements soon abandoned after a few wafflings about crystals with "unknown energy fields" and the planet having twin suns. Soon the usual assorted crew members of the archaeological expedition are getting needlessly separated, doing stupid things like walking backwards down dark corridors, and generally doing everything they can to get eaten.

When the highlight of the movie is someone attempting to cut off their own foot with a hedge-trimmer (and just exactly why an exo-archaeologist is wandering around an alien cave system carrying a hedge-trimmer is never explained) you know you are in trouble.

There are many bad movie moments in this film. (Including a couple of classically bad fights with actors 'punches' missing each other by yards.)

Stephanie Beacham is the best thing in this movie and acts everyone else off the screen by doing as little as possible in the hope that no one notices her. And I got so bored staring down Judy Geeson's mouth as she screams, moans, mugs, and grimaces her way through her part that I started to count her fillings. I mean how bad does a movie have to get before you find the lead's dentistry the most interesting thing on the screen? And it never ends! It just goes on and on and on - and the music is AWFUL!!!

Please make it stop!!!!

A Serious Bad Night Out Award of the week this one.

The UK Stonevision DVD release of this film has a very amateur "Documentary" on the director as an 'extra'. It is bad, but more interesting and better than the movie.

INSEMINOID

Aspect ratio: 2.39:1 (J-D-C Scope)

Sound format: Mono

Whilst exploring a series of caves beneath the surface of Jupiter's moon Xeno, a scientific research team unleashes a long-buried alien creature which impregnates one of the female members of the crew (Judy Geeson). With the subsequent pregnancy developing at an alarming rate, Geeson is compelled to protect her unborn 'children' from scientific scrutiny and begins to massacre her colleagues, one by one...

Responding to the worldwide appetite for overblown space operas established by STAR WARS in 1977, yet remaining true to his roots as a purveyor of exploitation-horror movies (SATAN'S SLAVE, PREY, etc.), British director Norman J. Warren developed the script for INSEMINOID with writers Nick and Gloria Maley, a team of special effects technicians looking for a vehicle in which to showcase their talents. With funding from British and Hong Kong sources, the film went into production at Chislehurst caves (a grim but picturesque location just outside London) shortly after Ridley Scott's ALIEN (1979) wrapped principal photography, though Warren and producer Richard Gordon insist the movie wasn't influenced by Scott's blockbuster in any way.

Unfortunately, INSEMINOID's lofty ambitions are somewhat undermined by its modest £1 million budget, yielding a range of sets, costumes and visual effects which are more reminiscent of "Blake's 7" and "Doctor Who" than STAR WARS, and the cheapskate production values often provoke unintentional laughter. Faced with some fairly amateurish dialogue, most of the cast can't help but sink to the occasion, though Geeson is remarkably good in the leading role, transforming herself from terrified victim to monstrous avenger with scene-stealing glee (unfortunately, she later bad-mouthed the film in no uncertain terms, despite recently admitting she'd never actually seen it!). Stephanie Beacham (SCHIZO, TV's "The Colby's") plays the material with earnest conviction, while Victoria Tennant (THE WINDS OF WAR) makes no impression at all as one of the early victims of Geeson's rampage.

For all its drawbacks, however, the film is fast-moving and eager to please, and benefits enormously from John Metcalfe's expansive scope photography, which Warren uses to evoke a sense of scale at odds with the movie's financial limitations. There's plenty of gory violence on offer, too, though Warren was forced to make a few cosmetic trims to some of the most explicit sequences for censorship reasons in the UK, and it's that version which has prevailed ever since. Sadly, despite the film's modest success (including America, where a slightly truncated print played theatrically under the title HORROR PLANET), the director was unable to finance another venture for several years afterward, and his final film to date, BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987), went straight to video. His long-cherished ambition to remake FIEND WITHOUT A FACE (1957) has yet to happen, which is particularly regrettable - the genre has always needed talented mavericks like Warren, now more than ever.

Shot on a rather low budget, Inseminoid aka Horror Planet is still more entertaining than many sci-fi shows and movies mass produced these days - this little production rides a little on the wave of Alien and mixes elements of horror and sci-fi adventure. For sure this is not a masterpiece, but if you are in the mood for some cheesy 80s B-movie of the sub genre of horror sci-fi, this one will provide some entertaining (and silly fun) moments indeed. This one is recommended if you dig B-movies like Lifeforce, Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, Planet of the Vampires, Species and Virus also comes to mind.

Some of these actors are mildly famous. Steve Martin's first wife IRL, Victoria Tennant, was in LA Story and All of Me among other things. David Baxt was in Batman(89), Superman(78), AND THE SHINING. Judy Geeson was in every sit-com, sci-fi, and comedy since 1962 (space 1999) But none of this will prepare you for the nonsense and dreamlike sequences that make up this film. There is constant running and screaming and more screaming and running. There's a hedge trimmer space weapon, there's alien babies, there's gore for no reason, there's space (sometimes) outside and sometimes not. Every sound in this film was recorded sometime later. There's cheesy horrible electronic music. Whenever there's gore it's not scary, it's dumb. It's gets so ridiculous, you'll be amazed that you're still watching, even if just to see where these damn alien babies are in this film. I made it to the end but I'm not ever watching it again.