La sanguisuga conduce la danza

-- it just plain sucks. Set in turn-of-the-century Ireland, said film could have BEEN MADE at the turn-of-the-century, what with it's bright, ugly, flat lighting, plot so-old it creaks and gore scenes that would shame a Sunday School spook house! Rich man invites theatrical troupe to his isolated island mansion and the women all start turning up beheaded. Many who like bad movies will find nothing of interest. Read a book instead!

A Count in Ireland invites a troupe of attractive actresses to his island castle in the early 20th Century. Once there his guests literally lose their heads, one by one. Sadly this Count is no vampire, instead we have a murder mystery fashioned around Gothic horror. An Italian movie, this falls short of being a genuine giallo. This film is slow, dull and the English language version suffers with awful dubbing. We get day for night scenes, when a storm rages the film makers have inserted some stock footage - in black and white! Set in Ireland but obviously not filmed there. There is plenty of soft core sex and nudity (bums and boobs), but this is not enough to save this from boredom.

The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance - what a laughable title, it's so utterly misleading. It's not surprising that the film-makers try and mislead us though because this is one terrible movie.

The story basically involves a murder mystery in a castle on a remote island.

Very little happens in this film. And when something does wake the viewer from his stupor, it invariably is unintentional comedy in the form of atrocious dialogue delivered by a hopeless group of voice-artists. These guys are so bad they make the actors they deliver voices for appear like a group of remedial-level morons. It really is hard to determine how bad the acting is when you have dubbing this abysmal. But the voice-artists cannot be blamed for the script. It's a travesty. Unintentionally funny at best, pathetic at worst. The story in general is, to say the least, uneven. The women characters are particularly idiotic; the men are either creepy or tedious.

The whole enterprise smacks of pure exploitation of the audience. It doesn't remotely deliver what it promises and even when the murders (finally) start happening, they all occur off screen. All we get is a few half-hearted severed head shots.

A few people have said that this movie is a giallo. I cannot agree less with this opinion. Anyone who enjoys Italian thrillers should give this movie a wide berth as there is nothing remotely thrilling about it. It's basically a soft-core porn film with a horror angle. But it's not very erotic either.

I can't recommend this to anyone.

"It's very dull here" says our leading lady about a half hour in. You said it sister! Never have I seen a more lethargic group of potential vampire victims, and the Count's droning on will put you to sleep rather than strike terror into your heart. There's brief nudity and a lesbo clip watched surreptitiously by a voyeur maid, but really pretty tame. Embarassingly cheap, I did a double take when I couldn't believe they actually spliced black and white stock footage of a storm at sea into this otherwise entirely color, if anemic, motion picture! After an hour, without a hint of even a drop of blood on the horizon, and the killer's footprints showing up on the floor (!), I had to give up.

The packaging for this film is quite misleading, which may account for all the ill will towards it: first the title itself implies this is a vampire movie (it's not) and the cover picture shows an actress (Krista Nell?) with a vaguely Bride-of-Frankenstein-esque hairstyle, which also gives a misleading impression of the subject of this film. And it must be acknowledged at the outset that "Bloodsucker Leads the Dance" is a trifle, more of an excuse to get its actresses naked than a serious attempt at filmmaking.

That said, however, I don't think the film is entirely without redeeming characteristics, especially for fans of giallo (Italian thrillers), the major characteristics of which this film displays in its plot (a murderer with supernatural overtones is stalking a bevy of sexy houseguests at the remote country mansion of a count) and its gothic setting. If you take it for what it is (a flimsy giallo made on a shoestring budget) and not high art, you notice a few fun things about this production while viewing it: a cool soundtrack, nice costumes and sets, a perverse view of human nature and of course lots of female skin. It can be a fun movie to watch if you approach it in the right spirit. Probably not for those not already "hooked" on giallo, though.