Lady Cocoa

Oh how I wanted to like this movie.

It has all the ingredients to be great. Charismatic lead actress, cool name, main theme tune. A good set up for lots of action.

We could have had another Foxy Brown here with Lady Cocoa.

But alas, it was not to be.

Because Lady Cocoa herself is such an insufferable, awful, loud-mouthed know-it-all that within 30 minutes I was wishing she'd just get shot already.

Rarely have I seen such an unlikeable main character in a Blaxploitation movie.

Lola Falana has the acting chops and charm to be an excellent lead. But the script writers confused arrogance for confidence, quoting philosophy like it's scripture for intelligence, and a nasty mean-streak a mile wide for charm.

No wonder we never got a Lady Cocoa sequel. No one in the entire world would ever want to see this awful character ever again.

Another extreme cheapo blaxploit.... Mean Joe Green, who I primarily remember for his enthusiatic endorsement of Coca-cola in the 80's, plays a hit-man flunkie for a pimp/drug dealer, and though because of his semi-celebrity status he is given top billing, he was apparently not trusted to pull off even one speaking line. Not one word the whole movie. Pretty incredible. This is basically crap - hard to watch unless you enjoy very bad slow movies. Lola Falana seems to be quite the firecracker, but this story of her one day of freedom before she testifies on her ex-boyfriend (the aforementioned pimp/dealer ) for the FBI doesn't hold anyone's interest.

To me there was some real confusion (mainly due to bad editing, scripting and directing) on whether or not the fat old cop was straight or corrupt.

"Coco" (Lola Falana) is serving time in a Nevada penitentiary and agrees to testify against her mob boyfriend "Eddie" (James A. Watson Jr.) in exchange for her freedom. Naturally, Eddie doesn't like the idea and sends a couple of hit men to take care of the problem once and for all. Figuring that something like this might happen the District Attorney provides two bodyguards by the names of "Doug" (Gene Washington) and "Ramsey" (Alex Dreier). Unfortunately, she refuses to believe that Eddie will try to harm her and treats both of her them with complete contempt. But one of the hit men named "Big Joe" (Mean Joe Greene) isn't playing any games. Now rather than reveal any more of the story and risk spoiling the movie for those who haven't seen it I will just say that I thought the character of Coco was extremely annoying. But even so I must admit that Lola Falana played her part superbly. I also liked the surprises as the story progressed. In short, for a low-budget "Blaxploitation" movie this one wasn't too bad. Slightly above average.

I grew up during the '70's and love the movies made during that decade, and Lady Cocoa is at the top of the list. I'm not sure if I enjoyed them as much then as I do now, because in the present I'm looking back wistfully in time, through a hazy mirror that somewhat distorts the images. Lady Cocoa also has constant background noise and the sound of wind even when the action is inside in the casino where she spends her night of freedom. The film has too much indoor lighting and not enough outdoor lighting. For me, that's perfect. Can you really expect to look at the past and expect to see it perfectly clear? Would you want to? If only police shows today could be so tame. Lady Cocoa speaks her mind and sometimes she speaks it in a way that would make a tough guy from the '70's blush. But, deep down, she's a good girl whose naive. She's gone to jail to protect her boyfriend, but now, in exchange for turning state's evidence against the man she loves, she get's a day of freedom. What? 24 hours in a Lake Tahoe casino (Where The King's Castle was located) is compensation for 1 and ½ years in prison for committing essentially no crime? Ask yourself why she would do this as you watch this film.

There is no wonder that Lola Fallana later made a fortune in Las Vegas; she is constant energy and she acts with passion. She is undoubtedly the star of the show, but the performance by Alex Dreier, as Lieutenant Ramsey Miller is a very good one. Dreier's distinctive voice was, certainly, one of his greater assets as a performer. Fallana's co-star, Gene Washington, is, in the beginning, a bit wooden with his performance but loosens up as the movie progresses. "Mean" Joe Greene is, indeed, mean in "Lady Cocoa" as he stalks her, but he and his sidekick had no trouble memorizing their lines: there were none.

Lady Cocoa is a film worth watching. It moves, though slowly, towards a surprise ending, yet the rate of progression towards the conclusion is both entertaining and captivating. And, most important for this viewer, it takes you back to how we once were...and how a lot of films really looked in those days!

The only redeeming element of "Lady Cocoa" is Lola Falana, playing the title character: she is beautiful, sexy and has a wonderful smile. Other than her, the film is a bargain-basement production with a totally static plot - for more than an hour, the story is confined into one hotel. And don't think this works in favor of any suspense, either; the fact that the two hit men who are on the heroes' trail never utter a single word might have been intended to make them look unique, but their actions only make them look inept and ineffective. Things are made even worse by the worn print, scratchy sound and often inaudible dialogue of the DVD version that Brentwood came up with: a pure disgrace. (*)