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There's a scene in Barbed Wire Dolls that is so perfectly horrible it should be cinematic legend. It's a young girl's flashback of her father (played by Franco himself) attempting to rape her. The entire scene is shot with Franco's patented wandering zoom, a lens slathered with vaseline and a slow motion effect you have to see to believe.

Doing double-duty as "Cinematographer," Franco apparently didn't realize you could change the frame rate on the camera and decided slow motion is best acquired through slow motion acting. Yup, actors pretending to go through the motions in real time slow motion. Hilarious.

For someone who hates his own movies and wishes he'd directed Citizen Kane, Franco's taste is not nearly as bad as the choices he consistently makes behind the camera. Within the realm of bad movies, if Ed Wood Jr. is Orson Welles, then Jess Franco is quite possibly John Ford. High praise, indeed. Barbed Wire Dolls is a B- movie with so many juicy tidbits of ineptness, tasteless raunch, camp and cliché you can't help but love this senseless mess. See the slow motion genius for yourself:

"Barbed Wire Dolls" has to be one of the sleaziest Women in Prison epics ever created.This is Franco's first film for Swiss producer Erwin C.Dietrich and it offers tons of nudity and sleaze.A beautiful Maria(Lina Romay)is imprisoned in a penitentiary run by a cruel lesbian warden(Monica Swinn).She is accused of murdering her father(played by Jesus Franco himself)but the wardress actually did the deed.Once in prison,Maria is tortured by being tied nude to metal bed-frame which is hooked up to electrical current."Barbed Wire Dolls" is as sleazy as they get.The film features incredible amount of sleaze including whippings,masturbation with a cigarette,lesbian sex scenes,rape and a close up of one of the inmate's private parts being penetrated by a guard's fingers.The acting is actually not bad and the film is never boring.So if you're a fan of European exploitation give this dirty classic a look.9 out of 10.

A sick mind, or a million dollars . . . Which is better? Currently I only have the sick mind: and this movie feeds that fairly well! The version I saw was 81 minutes instead of the 90 minute full length film: but still, I would have to inform you to NOT use the comment from, Quebec, Canada. Because, the lack of 9 minutes probably would not have deleted scenes of any loot from a robbery, or some insurance whatever, or information about a woman in prison for killing her lover: none of those statements was correct from what I saw. There was a prisoner who killed her father, and one who killed her brother. But . . . You'll have to watch to find out what really took place about one of those killings. And let me tell you about the female warden, Monica Swinn; she may not have been as sexy as Brigitte Nielsen's portrayal of a warden, but Monica still had appeal, and did very well with being a mean bitch. The eyepiece she wears is a good touch, too, along with the Nazi book she reads. And though her voice was dubbed, that voice was well chosen. The warden loves seeing nude prisoners get mistreated; and when you see the nudity, you're seeing a film much better then your average soft-core movie. You will also see a great looking old prison; or it's a castle by the sea? And finally, you'll see the jungle area between the prison and the sea where an escape takes place. But . . . the ending is not your typical Hollywood bullsh*t.

Lurid does not begin to describe this Jesús Franco women-in-prison film. Lina Romay is sent to prison for murdering her father. The prison is run by a jackboot-wearing female warden and a serial killer prison doctor who killed the real prison doctor and is now posting as said doctor. There was a whole cycle of women in prison films in the 70s and 80s, and this one probably had more nudity and torture than any I've seen before, though I have to admit I have not yet seen SS HELL CAMP, which is supported to be the most extreme of this cycle. I watched a beautifully restored Blu-ray of this film from Full Moon Features, but this film is utter crap. However, it is definitely a film that's so bad it's good, the most hilarious moment being a flashback to when Romay kills her father. To save money, instead of shooting the scene in slow motion, director Franco has the actors fighting with one another as if they were moving in slow motion. The scene is so badly done I could not believe what I was seeing! Making matters even more bizarre, Franco was dating Romay at the time and played the abusive father. It's a scene that has to be seen to be believed. There are so many other bizarre scenes, such as one of the prisoners masturbating while holding a lit cigarette, with ashes falling on her genitalia or the reoccurring electric shock treatment scenes. There's really just no describing this film, but I feel like I should give this terrible movie an extra half a star for the entertainment value I got out of the terrible bit of filmmaking.

Well, I'm finally forced to admit it--up to now I've never seen a Jess Franco film (well, not knowingly, anyway; the guy has used 189,000 different names, so I might have seen one among his incredibly prodigious output made under one of those names though I didn't know it at the time). Naturally I knew about him, and his reputation, but I finally got around to seeing my first of one of his films today. And it was this one. And I'm still recovering.

All things considered, though, I've seen worse--not much worse, but worse. Then again, you can't judge a Jess Franco film by such arbitrary standards as "good" or "bad"; they just don't apply. Was it well made? No. Was it well acted? No. Was it well written? God, no. Was it enjoyable? Hell, yes. Its enjoyability factor was due in large part to the plethora of gratuitous nudity and just-this-side-of-porn sexual activities--sexual abuse, molestation, rape, incest, lesbianisn, voyeurism, and everything else that makes life worthwhile (at least in a Jess Franco film). It wasn't just the nudity and the sex that make this film so much fun, though. It was the joyously demented attitude of the thing. You got the feeling that Franco said to himself, "Well, I've managed to scrape together a couple of bucks; let's make a sleazoid women in prison picture and get Lina Romay naked as often as humanly possible"; for that philosophy alone he should have gotten a special Oscar.

As for the "plot"--as if you care about such trivial matters--a lezbo warden and an effeminate phony doctor run a combination womens prison/torture chamber/home for retired and/or escaped and/or wannabe Nazi concentration camp guards in an unnamed South American country (although it was shot in the Central American country of Honduras, something I'm sure the Honduran government wasn't particularly jazzed about when it finally found out what Jess was up to while shooting in one of their prisons)

As a movie, it's not really very good (actually, it stinks). As an example of the "Jess Franco experience", it's somewhat better. As a showpiece for Lina Romay's incredible sex appeal and terrific body, it's a masterpiece. If you go into it with the right attitude, it can be a lot of fun.

Come to think of it, even if you DON'T go into it with the right attitude it can be a lot of fun. Enjoy.