The Black Bird

In 1975 San Francisco, Sam Spade Jr. has taken over his father's private investigation business, but he does not like the work, or his father's obnoxious secretary. One of the father's big cases comes back to haunt the young Spade. A man offers a lot of money for a statue which may or may not be the Maltese Falcon. In fact, there are several large offers for the bird, and it might be worth millions if it is the genuine article. A European woman who has some trouble with English claims to want the bird to help a children's hospital. And Spade gets unwanted help from a crazy character (one of the movie's funniest) who he calls 'Andrew Jackson' after the man offers a $20 bill for Spade's time. Whatever the significance of the bird, someone must want it badly because people start dying.

The movie started out really funny and showed promise, but later it lost something. The second half proved much funnier than the first. The jokes were not always obvious, and sometimes you had to pay close attention to realize why something was funny. Sometimes the jokes came at a rapid-fire pace, but other times I felt unsatisfied. One running gag was a rental car with a mind of its own. The last gag involving the car was hilarious. Overall, the movie proved to be worthwhile, but not quite in a league with similar style comedies such as 'Airplane!'

People offended by political incorrectness should probably stay away, but to me politically incorrect humor was the best part. Such as the time Spade was in a room with black men and when his name was called, all the black men got up. The funniest character was a midget (Spade's word) in a Nazi uniform with a group of large Hawaiian guards protecting him, and the hilarious jokes about or from him were anything but sensitive. Spade also referred several time to the children in the hospital as 'cripples' or an even worse variation of the word.

I love this movie. It's filled with little gems that can only be appreciated with repeated viewings.

"I'll see the first person with a 10 dollar bill in his hand--and that's cash, we're not taking' food stamps anymore."

"What is this?" "What do you mean 'What is this?'--this is the Maltese Falcon!" "I'll give you $14.95 for it." "Why is it always $14.95? Why can't it be $15, at least a round figure?" "Would you like a round figure?" "Yes, I would." "Fourteen dollars." "Come on, its gotta be worth more than that." "It is. It's worth $14.95."

"It's open and shut: the girl wandered into the building by accident and he threw her down the shaft. Now, it could have happened that way!"

"Dsemboweled?" "They take a large knife and--" "I know what that is!"

"There's no use spilling milk on a dead horse."

"It is mine because I deserve it. Mine because I have killed for it and will kill again for it. Mine because I have spent thirty years in pursuit of it. It is mine because I have the means, the determination, and most of all the power to have it. It is mine because I want it!" "Look, if it's yours what do you need with me?"

"Litvak will kill her (Effie)!" "It's bad luck to talk about these things before they happen."

"Litvak, you get a lot of bad press, but I gotta tell you you're aces with me. This is the best day I've had in a year!"

"Nonsense, no one is always wrong." "I am."

"Gordon Immerman, but you can still call me Andrew Jackson if you want to."

Lee Patrick and Elisha Cook jnr. Reprise their roles from The Maltese Falcon. Old timer Lionel Stander joins them and Segal in a movie which is consistently entertaining. It made me smile. I laughed 3 aloud times, twice at incidents which occur in the background. Not all the humour is good but then the next crack arrives and I don't care.

This could have been great. The original script was for a serious Spade sequel and the central conceit of the plot is excellent. The cast are superb and George Segal is perfect as the world weary, cynical and laconic Sam Spade. Some of the humour works in a sort of Pink Panther way...the runaway car long gag is genuinely hilarious but this could so easily have been a great move a la The Long Goodbye. The support cast, especially Lionel Stander , are really talented and would have been perfect for the serious incarnation. Such a shame, but I did enjoy this snapshot of the 70s, and San Francisco as it once was. Worth a watch, definitely.

George segal is sam spade junior, in the black bird, a parody of the maltese falcon. Some fun faces in here. Ken swofford (police academy) and vic tayback (mel, for those old enough to remember) are police detectives. Lionel stander (max, for those old enough to remember). Effie and wilmer are played by the original actors from bogart's version! Although in this one, effie is a loud, ornery shrew, who hates her boss. It starts out strong, but loses steam about halfway through; the trivia section here tells us that the writers, producers, and directors were all fighting, which didn't help. I love the premise, but after a while, it just tries too hard. And the anna character just brings it to a halt every time she speaks. Where's madeline kahn when you need her? They really wasted vic tayback... he did this in between the film "alice doesn't live here" and the tv series alice. The first and last film directed by david giler. Segal did this one about ten years after "virginia woolf". Too bad. I really wanted to like this one.