Haunted

I worked as a wrangler during the old west parts of this production wrangling up to four horses. Aldo Ray was difficult as he was always drunk and production was always waiting for him to show up. The western scenes were filmed at the old Apacheland Movie Studio east of Apache Junction Arizona. Working the set I felt like a high school drama class could have done a better job.

"Haunted" starts with a prologue written on the screen and, immediately after, the same text is processed into a sequence as well. It certainly isn't the biggest blunder you can make, but it does somewhat illustrate the intelligence level of the film. Either you do a written text or you do a sequence, but not both. Then again, the pre-opening credit sequences, taking place during the US Civil War, are undeniably the best parts of the entire film.

A beautiful Indian woman gets falsely accused of witchery by a corrupt priest, and she's sentenced to a very strange and perverse death. The poor girl, named Abanaki, is tied to a horse, stripped naked, and then sent into the dry and hot desert to die. Some say - and I quote the prologue - that her spirit roamed around for more than a hundred years for revenge. And guess what happens a hundred years later!

"Haunted" is also the type of clichéd horror film in which characters reincarnate as exact replicas of their ancestors. The corrupt priest reincarnates as a grumpy ranch owner, and Abanaki returns as a beautiful traveling girl whose car breaks down at that same ranch. This film had the potential to be a simple but effective supernatural horror tale, but writer/director Alessandro De Gaetano stuffs his screenplay with lots of senseless nonsense, dead-end twists, dull sub plots, and insignificant supportive characters. There's a phone booth in the middle of a cemetery, sinister wooden statues without any purpose, an elderly blind lady playing the organ and fantasizing about sex with her deceased husband (while she actually has the plump and hairy Aldo Ray on top of her), and two dorky brothers chasing after the lewd Abanaki-reincarnation.

I can tolerate quite a lot of weirdness, but the complete lack of action and gruesome deaths in "Haunted" is unforgivable. There's one notable highlight, involving spilled petrol and a spark from a light bulb, but it's not enough. De Gaetano put too much time and effort in the dedicated soundtrack, and the casting of Anne Michelle (in a successful attempt to find a girl with perfect breasts).

In Arizona during the Civil War, a Native American woman is accused of witchcraft, tied to a horse and left to die in the desert. One hundred years later, the descendants of the woman's accusers start being killed off, and an Englishwoman becomes convinced that she is the reincarnation of a long-dead Indian priestess. This movie was filmed on location in Arizona over a period of 24 days on a budget of $250,000. According to writer-director Michael De Gaetano, budgeting issues necessitated that portions of the script be un-filmed, resulting in "a good deal of the philosophical depth of the film" disappearing. The result is a boring movie with huge gaps in the story, and plenty of historical inaccuracies. This is all topped with some ridiculous performances by a very visibly drunk Aldo Ray and Virginia Mayo' in a non sensical role who chews the scenery and delivers her lines awkwardly. Ann Michelle ( a white British actress) plays the Apache priestess, and sits atop a horse, topless, wearing a black, braided wig. A soundtrack album was released featuring such songs as You Make Me Feel the Music by Carol Douglas, Indian Woman by Billy Vera, A Distant Time (Love Theme from 'Haunted') by Freya Crane, and How Can I Tell Judy by Herbert Oscar Anderson.

OK, the movie. Way back in the olden days some cowboys and a priest decided that an Indian woman needed to die. The reason is completely unmemorable. They put her on a horse, take her shirt off and send her packing to die in the desert of Arizona. Before they set her off, she says something to the extent of her haunting this land. Off she goes. Enter present day. A family living in a ghost town witness a telephone booth going up in the middle of a grave yard. The mother of the two boys is blind after an accident involving a naked horse woman. The accident killed her husband. She believes that they are being haunted.

This movie gets cheese points because of the laughable scripting, acting, dialog, and the original songs that appear in the movie. There was even a soundtrack released to accompany the movie. In a terrible amusing scene, we see the Uncle chasing the woman into the phone booth with a sharp stick he wittled with a knife (where the hell is the knife?). The only blood in this movie is where Uncle Collage Grad stabs him self with his wittled stick. I'd also like to know who let them use the set from Wild Wild West.

In 1865, a young Indian girl (Ann Michelle) is sentenced to death in a small Arizona town after a soldier (Aldo Ray) falsely accuses her of stealing. Fast forward a hundred and eleven years and the town is now a ramshackle old movie studio inhabited solely by two brothers (Jim Negele & Brad Rearden), their blind mother (Virginia Mayo) and crabby Uncle (Ray again). Trouble arrives when Brit actress Jennifer (Michelle again) shows up and she is the Indian girl reincarnated.

Is it possible to title your movie HAUNTED and not have any ghosts in it? This is more boredom beyond than anything else. It really says something for your film when the scariest thing in it is Aldo Ray's hairy back during a lovemaking scene (my eyes!!!). Director Michael DeGaetano previously made the amusingly titled UFO: TARGET EARTH and shows a real fine hand at the nonsensical. There are some bizarre subplots like Ray searching for gold and Ray being the boys real father, both of which are dropped cold. DeGaetano also sets up a senseless bit with a phone booth being installed by a graveyard next to a house so the Indian girl can call Ray from beyond the grave. Huh? Why not just have her call the home phone? The mind numbing finale has our female lead trapped in the phone booth with Ray outside, trying to find a way to get at her. He finally figures out to break the glass. Meanwhile, our hero brothers hang out at a burger joint and don't even show up to save the chick. For Aldo Ray fans (my condolences) only!