- Oskar Matzerath: There once was a drummer. His name was Oskar. He lost his poor mama, who had eat to much fish. There was once a credulous people... who believed in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really... the gas man! There was once a toy merchant. His name was Sigismund Markus... and he sold tin drums lacquered red and white. There was once a drummer. His name was Oskar. There was once a toy merchant... whose name was Markus... and he took all the toys in the world away with him.
- Bebra: You must join us, you must!
- Oskar Matzerath: You know, Mr. Bebra... to tell the truth, I prefer to be a member of the audience, and let my little art flower in secret.
- Bebra: My dear Oskar, trust an experienced colleague. Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run *us*. The others are coming. They will occupy the fairgrounds, they will stage torchlight parades, build rostrums, fill the rostrums, and from those rostrums preach our destruction.
- Vendor: Look, if you please, at this extraordinary potato... this swelling, luxuriant flesh, forever conceiving new shapes... and yet so chaste. I love a potato, because it speaks to me.
- Maria Matzerath: [Oskar walks in secretly to find Alfred having sex with Maria] A little more. Just a little. But be careful
- Alfred Matzerath: Don't worry
- Maria Matzerath: Almost. Almost. Just a little more! But be careful!
- [Oskar jumps on Alfred, interrupting their sexual act. Alfred gets up and slaps him before the upset Maria stops him]
- Maria Matzerath: Alfred, stop it! Is it the kid's fault you're not careful?
- Alfred Matzerath: Me? Who kept asking for more?
- Maria Matzerath: I said, 'Be careful, it's coming soon.' But it never came at all!
- Alfred Matzerath: Never enough. You're all the same
- Maria Matzerath: In, out, finished. That's your idea of love. Well, go look for somebody else. You think I am some electric bell? You never take precautions!
- Jan Bronski: [Jan arrives and sees Alfred getting dressed in Nazi uniform] Going to the demonstration?
- Alfred Matzerath: Yes, at the fairground. A mass rally. Lobsack is speaking, and what a speaker he is. I tell you, these are historic days. A man can't stand asie. You've gotta join in.
- [looking at the newspaper Jan is carrying]
- Alfred Matzerath: You should read the Danzig Sentinel. Your siding with Poland is crazy. I've told you a thousand times.
- Jan Bronski: I am Polish!
- Alfred Matzerath: Think it over
- Agnes Matzerath: Don't expect me to touch your eels.
- Alfred Matzerath: Don't put on airs.
- Agnes Matzerath: I'll never eat fish again. Certainly not eels.
- Alfred Matzerath: You've always eaten them, and you knew where they came from!
- Schugger-Leo: A beautiful day! She's gone to the place where everything's so cheap. Habemus dominum
- Sigismund Markus: [Leo opens the door for Markus to let him into his taxi] Yes, it's a beautiful day. An unforgettable day. I too have seen the Lord.
- Schugger-Leo: You've also seen the Lord?
- [looking at Oskar]
- Schugger-Leo: Oskar. Habemus dominum, Oskar!