She nu yu chao

Ohhh, when it comes to this movie, I have such an unlimited anger. And it's a case that you would never understand it, if you didn't live it. So, to clear things up, I'll tell you the story..

In 2001, I was in my early twenties. I heard a lot about Bruce Lee. My father loved him. My mother, who hates any minor shot of violence, loved him. And how she talks till now about his movie (The Big Boss) aka (Fists of Fury), and the experience of watching it at the Egyptian movies back in 1973 with all the gigantic success. Plus, I watched a good movie about him (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story - 1993). So I found myself shouting: Where are your movies Bruce?!!

I went to the video store, and it was a dumb move (you'll know why!). And WAW, I found a lot of Bruce Lee movies. About 2 crowded shelves of them. Hence, I selected one named (Bruce Lee in New Guinea).

I did it, and watched that one. And OH GOD, please forgive your servant, since I harmed myself, but with no intention. I wouldn't do it if I knew its evil damage, or its mythical level of hideousness!

After that, I didn't understand what was the big fuss about Bruce Lee as a great star! Why does anybody care whether he is here or there. The lead, who I watched, was not that genius or charismatic at all!

Until my late father, may Allah be merciful to him, saw THAT lead, asking me to pause at any of his close ups. And after he examined his face a little, he told me in a very definitive way: "This is not Bruce Lee"! So I became too confused to ask: Who's this silly guy anyway??!!

Back then, I used to visit a cinematic site named IMDb, since I first came upon it in 1999. Therefore, I tended to it immediately to know who that man was. And I discovered the truth; he isn't Bruce Lee. No, my dear friends. He is Bruce Li. And what a huge, so huge, difference!

I just want to know who can love that bad clone, or - god forbid - love his repulsive movies?! I watched 2 of them, and couldn't bear finishing the third! And why to be a clone in the first place, living your whole life as another person else you?! See how (Bruce Lee In New Guinea) is a horror in every way you may look at it!

I hated our video distributors because of their cheap trickery (writing on the posters that THIS IS Bruce Lee!!). Although "Lee" and "Li" are written the same in Arabic, but I think I'll never forgive them! Later on, I watched the original; the one and only Bruce Lee. Yes, his movies weren't the best, but sure he was the best of them. And as a martial artist, he was the real deal.

Finally, a quote by Abraham Lincoln: "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time"!

I agree with those who wrote that the movie taken lightly, is hilarious, has some great fight scenes and have to add that in spite of that there are parts that drag on endlessly. Overall I give it a 6 because there aren't many movies I care to watch more than once or twice and this is one.

Now the Bruce Lee vs Bruce Li problem. This movie should not be listed under Bruce Lee's work, the actor in it is Bruce Li - two different people. I have spent a couple hours researching this issue and so far I've concluded that this confusion is unfortunate and takes away from the accomplishments of the real Bruce Lee. When you google photos on either one you get photos of both, incorrectly listed as each other, or at least many of Li's photos are billed as Lee. The resemblance is so close that Li starred in many Lee tribute movies after Lee's death, adding to the confusion.

After looking for this Bruceploitation for months, and then accidentally buying it cheap, it was disappointing. I heard about it on a DVD-R site, and it sounded crazy.

But no, what I got was a pretty bad martial arts movie. The kung fu-ing wasn't too bad, but the rest of the movie was pretty awful, and made the movie seem really, really long, much longer then it's 85 minute runtime.

On a positive note, the ape was funny for a couple of seconds (especially when I think they took the only close up of it's face from another movie), and the black guy who pops up half way through was funny because of the one line he said, which singlehandedly made all black people look like complete simpletons.

But it wasn't enough, sadly.

4/10

A good mixture of traditional old skool kung fu films and a more up to date Bruce Lee style of fighting. Ho Chung Tao shows an impressive array of kicks and strikes and unlike most kung fu films even his friend who travels with him is a very skilled fighter. Opposed to having just one talented actor in the film taking out armies of the dodgiest bad guys ever. There are loads of laugh out loud moments including dialogue and plot but they just add to the film and make the time between fights go easier unlike sitting through a Jackie Chan film which will have half an hour of fantastic stunts and and an hour and a half of awful humour and dodgy plots about being sailors trying to catch pirates (project A). At least this doesn't intend to be funny but ends up being hilarious in all of its low budget glory.

The movie starts with a quick opening fight with Bruce Li versus a few muggers. Next Larry and Bruce explain where they are going and why. A 747 takes then to the jungles of New Guinea where they trudge along to burn up some film time. The banana gag bombs then at night there is a brief fight as they save a native girl from being sacrificed. Next morning the Devil Sect displays their (lack of) fighting skills. Larry and Bruce bump into another guy who is searching for the pearl. After a brief fight they team up. Next a group a natives attack then flee.

All the fights so far have been basic, brief, distant, hesitant, and totally lack any real power. They continued to be all that for the rest of the movie plus clumsy, off-balance and monotonous too. All the non- fight parts are either exposition (often repeating what is already known or obvious) or actors moving from one spot to another in long and dragged out motion. The guys are split up and fight. Though Bruce is fine he seems to be missing then he returns home on an airplane. What was that all about? He returns weird and dreaming of some "island girl". There is a flashback and a man in a monkey suit is involved.

Bruce had a romantic interlude on the island, was forced to leave, and now he must return – so he returns. As if the fights weren't bad enough they bring in three Western stunt men and Larry Lee gets killed off. IMDb has an 80 minute run time for this movie and the reviewers mention a lot of nudity. Yet the copy I came across had no nudity and the run was 95 minutes. This movie has a reputation as one of the worst if not the very worst martial arts movies ever made – yet I watched it. Yes, it is a deep stinker and I rate it 1 out of 10.