Empire of the Ants

Like one reviewer says, (and I paraphrase) this is an Arkoff/Nicholson/ Bert I Gordon film, people - lighten up! Did you seriously expect Academy material (not that that means anything) out of a film called "Empire of The Ants?" Yes, the effects are laughable, yes the acting, and especially the reactions to the ants, are hilarious. It's all in good fun. I just love that grainy 70's print and the actors forging ahead despite the ridiculousness of it all. I personally think that credible acting in a film like this is a whole lot harder than a typical 'dramatic' production. I mean, how much harder would it be to get into the 'zone' and understand your motivations with something this silly? An absolute must watch for fans of bad movies. Especially if 70's bad movies really get ya. Similar titles: Squirm, Frogs, Tentacles. Anybody know any more good obscure 70's eco-horror? Please email me.

Mr. BIG(Bert I. Gordon) does it again! He creates a truly bad science fiction film with amazingly poor special effects and some of the schlockiest character acting performances and dialogue around. Supposedly based on a story by H. G. Well's, The Empire of the Ants is about how a group of people go to one of those shin-digs put on by real estate folks hoping you will buy some of their resort property after drinking some of their third-rate drinks and eating some of their crummy snacks. Joan Collins is running the show, hoping to sell all the people who came by boat to her real estate project a lot. Seems she is not a wholly reputable businesswoman, yet she has no knowledge of the fact that giant ants that grew from a leaking can of nuclear waste have taken over the resort and begin feeding on her guests, first in pairs. In one of the more ridiculous scenes in the film, giant ants run on the dock, jump on the boat, attack one of the crew, and then cause the skipper, hardily played by Robert Lansing, to set fire to the ship and leave the survivors no recourse but to trek back by foot. The journey back causes lots of death and destruction. The most ridiculous scene in the film has an aged couple hiding in a cabin and then coming out to see these giant ants all over the hut and on the ground standing. I almost fell over laughing at the awful special effects! Finally, the remaining few reach a town that secretly has been taken over by giant ants that spray a mist over people and make them do their bidding. The second half of the film breaks any possibility that you take the film seriously. The first half, although filled with many a ridiculous moment, at least has some suspense and gives the actors a little screen time to show that some of them actually know how to act. The second half is a hodge podge of poor script-writing, bad character acting, and some more real cheesy special effects. The film is another testament to Mr. BIG's ability to create some of the campiest, bad sci-fi around. Despite all this negativity, the film is a load of unintended laughs!

I guess I'm the only one who noticed the potential "love story" here. Don't believe me? From the beginning it seems very clear that Robert Lansing's Dan Stokely has a thing for the bitchy Marilyn Fryser (played by everyone's favorite bitch, Joan Collins). Check out that elongated "stare" they share on the boat. Then there's Jacqueline Scott's droopy, whiny, bitter, button-obsessed Margaret Ellis. She has a thing for Dan, but Dan tries to brush her off by saying he doesn't need any buttons. The clincher, however, is when Marilyn decides to go it alone through the forest, but is immediately confronted by those annoying picnic pests. Take note how she runs back right into Dan's waiting arms. Note also how he eagerly holds her tight and caresses her. And make one final note at Margaret Ellis's reaction -- you think she was bitter before?

That one scene provides more drama and suspense than anything else in the film! For example: Does Margaret really love Dan? Does Dan really love Marilyn? Does Marilyn really want to give up her life as an independent and successful woman for the macho Dan? Will Margaret kill Marilyn so she can sew buttons for Dan? Will Marilyn kill Margaret and steal her buttons so SHE can sew them for Dan? Will Dan say "to hell with the buttons," rip off his shirt and have his way with both women? Or will Dan say "to hell" with both women and offer them up as sacrifices to the ants?

Alas, the movie never answers these questions. But wouldn't it be cool if it had?

Shortly before seeing this film, I saw Bert I. Gordon's other giant killer animal flick, The Food of the Gods, and on the basis of these two films, I've discovered two things about a director I previously knew nothing about; first of all, he obviously enjoys making films about giant animals, and secondly; he has very little in the way of directorial talent. My main complaint with The Food of the Gods, in spite of the fact that I knew it was going to be a somewhat less than brilliant film, was the fact that it was boring - unforgivable since it's about giant animals! The plot we have here is very similar to the earlier film, as a bunch of people travel to a secluded place and end up being attacked by animals which are larger than normal. This time, the group is lead by the scheming Joan Collins, who leads a bunch of property buyers to Florida on the promise of some bargain property. The property turns to be fake, Joan Collins a fraud and that barrel of toxic waste washed up on the beach has given the ants a growth spurt!

The obvious films to compare to this one are fellow giant ant movies such as the classic 'Them' and the interesting, but fairly boring Sci-Fi Phase IV, and this film isn't as good as either as those. The special effects are important in a film like this, and they're even worse than those seen in The Food of the Gods. The ants are just enlarged shots of real ants superimposed onto the screen, along with a couple of puppets to fill the gaps. As you can probably imagine, this doesn't look good; and it's hard to be convinced by a film with effects like these - cheap or not! The film stars Joan Collins, and she reaffirms what a shame it is that she went crazy with the plastic surgery as the pre-surgery Joan Collins is actually quite hot! The plot itself is nothing exciting - just your average monster flick stuff - running from the monsters, fighting the monsters etc. There's also a subplot involving the ants' pheromones that doesn't come off well at all. Overall, Empire of the Ants just misses the 'fun bad film' mark and ends up just being a bad film! It's not completely terrible - and it's better than The Food of the Gods - but I still don't recommend it!

A fake land-seller : Joan Collins attempts to sell bogus real state to a group of innocent buyers : John David Carson , Robert Lansing , Jacqueline Scott , Pamela Shoop, Robert Pine at a location that is being run over by mutant giant ants contamined by radioactive waste. After ingesting an unknown radioactive substance , ants become huge and threatening the occupants of the remote Everglades in Florida . For they shall inherit the earth..sooner than you think ! . It's no picnic ! ..

Routine and regular monster movie about habitual issue concerning a group of nuclear , enormous , unfriendly ants stalking a real state dealer and prospective buyers of undeveloped oceanfront property. This is a cheap , humdrum version rendition of the H. G. Wells novel by suffering from lousy interpretations and an embarrassing lack of imagination. Fakey special effects might have been decent in the Sixties or Seventies , but they just don't cut it today. This is the follow-up to "Food of the Gods" 1976 also directed by Bert I Gordon with Marjoe Gortner, Ida Lupino, Pamela Franklin , Ralph Meeker . The motion picture was written , produced and directed by Bert I Gordon and he made the special effects effects too, in his usual primitive and traditional style . Bett realized various Sci-Fi , Fantasy and monsters movies , such as: " Cyclops , Food of the gods , Viillage of the Giants, Magic Sword , Picture Mammy Dead , Big Bet , and Witching, the Necromancy" . This is not nice enough even to be deemed a camp movie , as H. G Wells's story is trashed in this ordinary movie , in fact he must somersault in his grave every time somebody sees this below average rendition of one of his more thrilling stories. Rating : 4/10. Below average .