The Van

Coming-of-age fare from the 70s; you know that period where a new van supposedly meant high living, fast girls, and tons of laughs. Hmmm. Anyway, The Van is not entirely bad. I mean let's be realistic. This film wasn't trying to be anything grandiose or even a cheap imitation of American Graffiti. Thank goodness because it would fail miserably. A teen-aged Stuart Goetz, giving a very energetic performance, works at a carwash and finally saves enough to get his loaded van. It seems to have everything in it including a water bed, mirrored ceiling, and a toaster. The van symbolizes this teen's ability to get women to sleep with him. All he does is mention he has a van in some instances. Well, naturally this ploy doesn't work all the time and romance buds with a girl that doesn't seem all that impressed with his wheels. The film is very formulaic and has its expected dose of naked girls and sexual situations. Nothing special here but oddly the film has heart. Goetz, if nothing else as he bobs his head up and down and side to side through most of the film wildly grinning, adds a life to this film that would otherwise be even more irritating. It is this energy which also makes him get quite annoying after awhile as well. Certainly a Catch 22! The other cast members are nothing special. Danny Devito; however, has one of his first roles as Goetz'z boss. Connie Lisa Marie as a roughneck's squeeze is gorgeous. The hit song "Chevy Van" plays throughout the film. Not a bad way to take one down memory lane, even if it is an askewed point of view.

One of those so bad it's good kind of movies. A simple story about a boy and his super groovy decked out 70's style van. What teenage boy wouldn't love his own van complete with waterbed, eight track tape player and...toaster! Watch Bobby have countless adventures in his porn set on wheels. Look for the take out waitress who dosn't have time for a joint but has time for....a quickie! Bad dialog, bad acting, bad camera work and bad music. Bad, bad, bad! A must!

Let me start by saying that I saw this movie during its (short) original release. The drive-in had a couple dozen custom vans along the rear wall. I can only assume the shenanigans on the screen were being duplicated in the row of rolling bedrooms. Hey, it was the '70s.

This time I watched on Prime, some 56 years later. How the times have changed. While I still find the film amusing, some of it is a little hard to watch. What may have been considered acceptable by 1977 morals would never fly today. Apparently no didn't mean no, it meant "that's ok, keep trying, she'll come around eventually." That said, it's still an interesting piece of '70s culture. Custom vans, CB radios, 8-tracks and pot. Lots of pot. It was the end of the free love generation.

It's certainly not for everyone, but for those looking for an entertaining trip back to their own teen years it's worth a watch.

The teen sexploitation comedy had its heyday in the early 1980's with movies like "Porky's" and a brief revival years later with "American Pie" (and perhaps we're experiencing another right one now with the new movie "Superbad"). But these movies can really be traced back into the 1970's,(and perhaps even earlier in a much tamer form). The 70's movies were a little different, however, in that it was never clear whether they were trying to "exploit" the actual teenage audience of the era or just exploit the bodies of the "teenage" characters (almost always played by older actors) for the benefit of perverts of all ages. (Just look, for instance, at all the 1970's movies about cheerleaders, babysitters, and sexy female hitch-hikers).

This movie is somewhat unique then because, though it certainly fulfills its quota for female nudity, it really does seem to be aimed at actual 70's teenagers. It has a believable (relatively) and likable (very relatively) protagonist with a (somewhat)realistic problem: he wants to improve his love life by buying a customized van. It doesn't work too well at first, but eventually he has some success although not in the way he planned. This movie is not particularly funny, nor is it exactly neo-realism, but it does capture the spirit of the times enough to achieve a kind of nostalgia (which certainly can't be said about stuff like "The Cheerleaders"). I was actually just a kid at this time, but I remember being disappointed when I reached adolescence in the "just say no" Reagan era that my female peers weren't quite as, uh, fun as my teenage babysitters seemed to be back in this era. (At least, I personally never owned a van with a waterbed, a mirrored ceiling, and, for some reason, a toaster).

I'm sure this isn't a totally realistic movie about being a teenager in the 1970's, but it's as close as THESE kind of movies are probably going to get.

Positively THE definitive film about toaster-equipped van lovin'. A must for anyone who loves insanely bad movies - I saw this movie by accident 8 years ago, and now own 3 copies of it, and have watched it at least a dozen times. Do yourself a favour, and hop on board with Bobby and his pals(?)... and remember, "There ain't a woman around who don't like the sound of a zipper goin' down!"