Linda Lovelace for President

A country-looking, healthy-skinned, lithe and robust Linda Lovelace reads lines clunkily, but has a gentle, unpretentious charm in this Altman-derivative idjit jamboree, a sketch comedy about the state-of-the-art fellatrix's run for the Oval Office. (Yes, it IS oddly prescient!) In Lovelace's memoirs, the account of the making of this movie (directed, according to her, by old blaxploitation hand Arthur Marks) is hellacious; what's on the screen seems like a blend of HEE HAW and a Maoist-era Godard movie (in its cheapness and improvisatoriness, that is). I especially liked the young bohunk who married an orangutan and gave birth to a talking chimp who sounded somewhere between Minnie Pearl and Minnie Ripperton.

At a political convention staged in an open field, during which we're treated to such zaniness as Polish jokes and pie fights, "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace is chosen, unbeknownst to her, as candidate for President of the United States. Following this too-long-at-15-minutes intro, we see Linda address a crowd of admirers. "Thanks for coming," she tells the crowd, then, following embarrassed giggles, "I guess I'm really blowing it." More laughter. And these are the good jokes.

Not that anyone would've expected any better from this sloppy farce that plays like a dirty-minded Three Stooges movie--only not that good. While everyone else in the movie overacts shamelessly (apparently cast members were directed to simply run around like idiots, shouting nonsense--in a "kooky" accent if possible--while the cameras rolled and everyone hoped for the best), Lovelace manages to walk through her movie with relative dignity. And walk through she does, wearing the type of pained smile one sees on wives enduring a visit from their mother-in-law, stopping occasionally to lose her dress, showing off her silicone-injected breasts and indulging in some simulated humping. Lovelace claimed, years later, that she was coerced into making "Deep Throat," yet she seemed so much more at ease and natural in that movie. It's "Linda Lovelace for President" that she seems to be making under duress. Along for a paycheck (and not a very big one) are Scatman Crothers and ex-Monkey Micky Dolenz in small roles. This rare pop culture oddity is worth a look if you can find a copy, though its entertainment value is solely derived from its unabashed awfulness and seeing the late Linda Lovelace make a pitiful attempt at launching a "legitimate" film career.

Linda Lovelace for President (1975)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

The title pretty much tells you everything you need to know plot wise. The country is falling apart so a group of people decide only Linda Lovelace can save us so they contact her and begin a Presidential run.

After the success of DEEP THROAT, star Lovelace became a household name and people were looking for any way to try and cash in. LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT was an attempt to try and push Lovelace into a R-rated picture with a wider appeal but obviously that didn't happen and the actress began her slow fall from grace. As awful as this film is, I must admit that I give the producers a lot of credit because I'd give everyone involved with this production an A+ for effort.

With that said, effort isn't enough when it comes to entertainment. I think the best way to sum up this film is by thinking of the final mad-cap sequence in BLAZING SADDLES. That's basically the type of over-the-top humor that is on display here but the only problem is that there's no one as talented as Mel Brooks or Gene Wilder to make this film work. There's a lot of sexual innuendo, a lot of female nudity and a lot of politically incorrect humor. The film tries pumping out one joke after another but the problem is that none of it is funny.

I will give Lovelace some credit though as she certainly manages to hold your attention throughout all the camp. She's certainly easy on the eyes but she also brings across a certain charm and a beautiful smile that really lights up the screen even without any hardcore sex. She certainly gives it her all and is the highlight of the picture.

It's true that this cheesy flick is manically silly and zips right along with one silly goofy bit after another, but it does have lots of great old 1960s comedians in it. Older folks may recognize Chuck McCann, Joey Forman, Scatman Cruthers, Vaughn Meader, Marty Ingels, Joe E. Ross, and best of all Stanley Myron Handelman, who was a regularly featured comedian on the Dean Martin Variety Show. This movie also has Micky Dolenz of The Monkees in it. It was strange to see one of the best all-time kid show emcees, Chuck McCann play a racist and very lecherous weirdo called "The Assassin". I watched and loved the Chuck McCann show when I was a kid in the early-to mid-1960s. He and Sandy Becker were the all-time best and funniest kid show hosts. Linda Lovelace looks great and very sexy, but unfortunately apparently had no acting skills whatsoever. All in all though, this movie is very watch-able and if you remember those great old comedians the way I do, and you like a little irreverence in your comedy movies, check this one out if you can find it. I wish there was some footage of Stanley Myron Handelman doing his hilarious routine on stage, but alas there isn't. Rest in peace O great one. You are missed.

The plot has adult film star Linda Lovelace running for President as the only person the leaders of a political party could agree on. She goes on the campaign trail in a film that is full of political and social commentary humor, not to mention jokes of the lowest denominator.

The film-making is poor. its the sort of scatter shot "lets make a movie" with grade C stars and comedians running about in jokes that are best described a vaudeville or burlesques last gasp. Its the sort of film that is similar to Groove Tube, Loose Shoes, American Raspberry or Kentucky Fried Movie, except as a political campaign. The problem is the material, that which isn't old to begin with, isn't very good. To be certain some of the material is funny in a one off sort of way but mostly is just stupid. The sad thing is that Lovelace actually comes off a pretty good screen actress. certainly she's more real than many of todays adult film stars who try to cross over into mainstream films. Its a shame she never had the chance to do something more than be infamous.

Supposedly this exists in 3 different cuts PG,R and X. The version I saw had the X rating attached to the end, though most of the offensive material was some language, soft core sex and nudity and I seriously doubt it would get an X or NC-17 today. Nothing is exciting in any sense of the word.

Its bland. its dull. Its (mostly) unfunny. Its a turkey