The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield

Forget Michael Palin, the world according to Jayne '40-18½-36' Mansfield is my kinda world!

First she treks to Rome, followed by a herd of horny men pinchin' her ass while she's babblin' on about the Colloseum, her nude Playboy pics, gladiators, orgies mixed with Hercules footage!?! Then Cannes gets the bombshell treatment as our bikini Jayne (VA VA VOOOOM!) walks the beaches ("smallest bikinis in the world") and starts twistin' to "Bird's The Word" performed by a cool black R&B combo. She goes on a boattrip and strip nude and confesses:

"I'm basically very shy!"

And on and on this relentless busty 'love crusade' goes. Hookers, midgets, Paris, dragqueens, gays'n'dykes ("I'm just too darn confused!" poor little thing), Mickey Hagitay, strippers, footage from PROMISES, PROMISES and PRIMITIVE LOVE.....and bloody pics of her fatal car crash in 1967!?!

Now, where's my time machine?

Not very good mostly silent documentary, with a faked voice pretending to be the late B movie queen,as she takes you around the world to some pretty "wild" events. Serves as a decent document of some stuff you probably never saw from that time period, but definitely not a worthwhile homage to this lovely lady.

Fading sex goddess Jayne Mansfield takes a Mondo Cane-type tour of Europe, meeting male hustlers, transvestites, strippers, nudists, topless girl bands, and other colorful types along the way.

Filmed mostly in 1964 but not released until after Jayne's horrific death (and padded with a lot of footage from such Mansfield epics as "The Loves of Hercules" and "Primitive Love"), this deliriously tasteless travelogue was optimistically heralded by Jayne in one of her fan club newsletters as a sequel of sorts to Elizabeth Taylor's famed television tour of London. However, one can hardly imagine the then-Mrs. Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton doing the twist to "The Bird's the Word," much less visiting underground drag nightclubs.

Adding to the weirdness is the fact that "Jayne"'s narration is supplied by a voice double, and in a few new scenes shot from behind, a body double is used as well (apparently, also to pad out the film's length). In fact, such lengthy scenes as the Drag Queen Beauty Contest seem to have been filmed after Jayne's death, with inserts of Jayne's "reactions" to the show edited in.

Never fear, though, because plenty of the real Mansfield form is on display. In Cannes, she prances around in a bikini, then doffs the top for a trip to a nudist colony ("Gee, I hope nobody's watching!" Jayne's voice over simpers). In Paris, Jayne visits a massage parlor/tanning salon and is generously oiled down. And for those who missed them the first time around, the bathtub scene from "Promises! Promises!" and the striptease from "Primitive Love" are spliced in for good measure. (Jayne having "daydreams" in Rome leads to a few choice snippets of "The Loves of Hercules," as well!)

The crazed one-liners attributed to "Jayne" throughout the film have to be more inane than anything that would've ever actually issued from Mansfield's mouth (on the Eiffel Tower: "Gee, I hope nobody tears it down and builds a parking lot!").

To top everything off, the film suddenly ends with screeching tire noises, a simulated car crash, and then gruesome police photos of Mansfield's fatal car accident (including her corpse and that of her chihauhau!). Then, a grotesquely tacky epilogue unfurls of ex-Mr. Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, sadly touring the Pink Palace, playing the pink grand piano, and displaying the famed Wall of Magazine Covers. A supremely smarmy narrator intones, "A pair of shoes wait by the heart shaped bed...who will fill those shoes?", as the camera pans on a pair of Jayne's stilletos!

As horrifying as this film sounds, no doubt Jayne would have been delighted with her cinematic send-off. Her legacy of bad taste lives on to this day, and it is as jaw-dropping and mind-reeling as in 1967.

ITS CAMPY AND FUN. An easy watch and a fun movie. It's fascinating seeing the cameos of early trans people. Don't get me wrong, the film gets clunky at times, her body doubles are a bit obvious and it's not Jayne Narrating but Carolyn De Fonseca but it's passable as she also dubbed over Jayne in a few of her other movies like Dog Eat Dog. IF YOUR A FAN OF JAYNE PLEASE WATCH. In some scenes like the interview with one of the transgender performers it's clear that it was filmed after Jayne's death and it's a bit awkward in the drag ball scene as it's obvious again that Jayne is not alive at the time of filming. THE END HAD ME CRYING. We go from this fun film to a sad movie and the campy plot juxtaposed with the painful reality of her life honestly summarises her life in a metaphorical way.

Oh my GOD! What an AMAZING movie! "The Wild, Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield" is an exploitation movie lover's dream come true! When i first saw this, my jaw DROPPED to the floor in utter amazement! As soon as I heard the zippy little title music and cheesy-cute opening credits, I had a feeling this was going to be interesting...but I was completely caught off guard when the breathy narrator announced "Hi! I'm Jayne Mansfield" while watching grainy black & white footage of Jayne in Rome! WHAT!!???!!! The movie proceeded from there and I was stunned by the audacity of the filmmakers as they carve out a pseudo mondo movie out of literally NOTHING!!!

This movie was made AFTER Jayne was dead. Whoever put it together was a GENIUS and deserved an Oscar or SOMETHING! What you get are, what appear to be, HOME MOVIES of Jayne on vacation in Europe, a wonderfully FAKE Jayne Mansfield narrator, an obvious stand in (especially noticeable in the early black and white scenes where she's walking down the Via Veneto in Rome, looking through the Playboy magazine, and entering her hotel), shamelessly silly nudie filler scenes (which are all connected via "Jayne's" ditzy explanations), etc!

You will HOWL with laughter as Jayne, on a nudist island off of the coast of France, splashes her toes in a stream. The cool water running over her toes reminds her of other times and other feet! WHAT!?! Yes, she has segued into a memory of a risqué theater performance where only feet are on stage! It's tacky stuff...but for a memory, it's strange that Jayne is NO WHERE to be seen!

While in Paris, follow Jayne, on the top of the Arch de Triumph, as she takes a secret passage that leads into Paris' swinging underground nightclub for transvestites! (You enter from the top of the Arch de Triumph? HUH?? Whatever...) Then, marvel as Jayne, with amazing bionic-like super vision, spys on couples fooling around in a hotel room, a park, etc all from the top of the Effeil Tower with her naked eyes!

There's also a drag queen competition that Jayne is supposed to be attending. There is one quick flash of her seated in a booth...but it does NOT seem likely it's the same place. For all we know, it could have been film of her having a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's or something, very craftily spliced into the other scene!

The most shocking and painfully funny bit, has the camera filming from a car's point of view. Suddenly, the car seems to loose control! There is the screeching of breaks on the asphalt, and the car/camera go careening toward some trees! EEK! We then cut away to REAL photographs of Jayne's deadly automobile accident. She slammed into a big truck. Here in the heck is the TREE we, the audience as Jayne, just slammed into? And before you can look away from the crash shots, we are suddenly getting a tour of the inside of Jayne's gaudy mansion (with it's heart shaped pool, sink, and bed) by Jayne's ex-husband Mickey Hargitay!! (Does that place still exist as is? Man, I'd LOVE to see it! It's incredibly TACKY!!!)

There is just SO MUCH this movie throws at you---it's stupdefyingly bizarre!

I LOVE it! You get an interview with a supposed Jayne Mansfield look-a-like female impersonator, a topless female band performing, a best-breasts competition, and strip-tease lessons! There are also film clips of Jayne in "The Many Loves of Hercules", "Primitive Love", and nude in "Promises Promises"! Although the film gets a bit bogged down with all of the topless filler towards the end (did they run out of cutting room floor clips of Jayne??), it's still an amazing cinematic achievement. The filmmakers have literally taken NOTHING and created a mondo MESS-terpiece of exploitation genius! Jayne would have been proud!