Space Thing

Much like Flesh Gordon, Space Thing is a porno movie from the days when they actually tried to be movies. It centers around an alien who takes human form to learn the ways of lovemaking. The women are refreshingly real looking but the guys ought to have worked out some more. If whip wielding sadist lesbians are your cup of tea, you can't go wrong with Space Thing.

This movie makes Ed Woods Plan 9 From Outer Space look like an Academy Award winner. The set looks like common household items such as an extending aluminum as a stair case, kitchen chairs that look like upturned garbage cans. This is one of those movies that are not even so bad their good.

Everyone's complaining about the low budget, but honestly, it's only a single step down from what Star Trek had at that time. And the set designers and "special effects" team did a pretty good job of making the most of what they had (there are some cool-looking light panels that you only see in a couple of shots, which is a shame).

Look, no one's coming into this thinking it's a "serious" sci-fi movie. But there are some genuinely funny parts, and they did a pretty good job cobbling together a plot that's 100 times better than any "softcore" flick from the past 30 years.

Honestly, I have to salute whoever did the costumes in this movie. Not talking about the "uniforms" which were just Star Trek knockoffs, but the "casual" outfits for the women. Those have to be the skimpiest but non-nude outfits I've ever seen in my entire life.

Sadly, it's the sex scenes which drag down this movie as they're boring, and the fact that the guys never get naked is distracting. And yeah, it really does sound like the camera operator is about to cream his jeans every time.

But if someone did some smart editing (including removing a few worthless and boring shots of them walking around the desert), this could be an entertaining flick. The dead seriousness of the protagonist is a complete hoot, and the campy behavior of the crew is pretty funny.

The ending is a total cop out, sadly, but what interests me more is the through line of this movie, including the bizarre intro scene of the guy in bed (with ALL the lines dubbed in later).

It feels like the elevator pitch for this movie was "why can't guys just enjoy atomic engines and other sci-fi stuff without sex-crazed women ruining everythng?" which is... um... hard to really grok, if you know what I mean. I don't think I've ever heard a (straight?) guy complain about getting laid so much in my entire life.

But yeah, with a more streamlined cut, this movie could be very watchable. And again, those "casual" outfits are amazing. Oh, and the credits are TRULY original. So nice to see natural beauty for once.

Space Thing, with a little more effort, you almost could've been a contender!

Space Thing (1968)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Corny, low-budget sexploitation film from producer David Friedman has nerdy husband James Granilla (Steve Vincent) too caught up in his sci-fi comics to pay much attention to his beautiful and horny wife. Later in the film, a look-a-like of the same character (and same actor), but now an alien, takes human form and enters a spaceship where there are plenty of beautiful women.

SPACE THING is one of the best known sexploitation films out there but I honestly don't see why. I guess the science fiction might bring a few people to the film who wouldn't normally watch these softcore films but there's very little here in regards to entertainment. The film was obviously shot on a shoestring budget but this adds some campy charm and especially with the ultra cheap sets. The film also manages to load up on the beautiful women and as you'd expect there's non-stop nudity from start to end.

I really wouldn't be shocked if this thing had a lower budget than PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE or ROBOT MONSTER. Those two films were so bad yet they're entertaining and rather charming. I can't say the same thing about SPACE THING because it's just too slow for its own good.

If sex movies are your thing, then this is definitely for you! This is the rarest thing you'll ever come across, with a blend of science fiction and very attractive space girls, not to mention the silliest looking sets in movie history. So why am I canning a nice little sex show like SPACE THING? Let's face it, even after 30 years, it's still not regarded as wholesome valuable entertainment, and just like those expensive shot-on-video productions designed to drain away your apartment funds, it's a dramatic waste of your time and money! A little spice and cheesecake is alright, but too much sauce goes an awful long way! Leave this and other sexual garbage movies alone!!!