A Lovely Way to Die

For some reason this film which used to be shown frequently on TV in the 70s and early 80s has not been available for years until just recently. I saw it in theater and innumerable times on television, but only once again just now.

Kirk Douglas stars in this drama/mystery in which he recycles his tough cop from Detective Story. Unlike his character there whose penchant for violence was thoroughly explored, his cop in this film is just as violent without the issues. After beating some out of town hoods who probably deserved it, Douglas quits the force after complaints of police brutality. Even Dirty Harry Callahan didn't do that. But in terms of violence this film was only a hint of what was to come.

Eli Wallach playing a mush mouth deep south criminal defense attorney who is defending lovers Sylvia Koscina and Kenneth Haigh on a murder charge, they supposedly killed Koscina's husband. One of the things I did remember distinctly from previous viewings was Wallach in his role. Eli really looks like he's enjoying himself here.

As for Kirk his job is to guard Koscina and of course he starts thinking with his male member and getting warm for her form. She maintains she really is innocent and Douglas would like to believe her and pin the whole thing on Haigh. It's his determination to nail the boyfriend that totally skewers his objectivity. Once he gets over thinking like a rival he solves the murder.

This part was no great strain on Kirk Douglas's talents, his character while a tough cop is a pale shadow of what he did in Detective Story. It's a good made for TV movie and probably should have been sent there and not even had a big screen run.

It was run a lot on TV for years.

After they bribed Kirk Douglas to appear in this movie, with just enough left over to convince Eli Wallach to abandon his dignity, they must not have had any money left over for such trivialities as original music composition. So they bought the rights to some Bewitched out-takes. Gets worse, though. Douglas goes out on a date with a dish to a nightclub where they dance the Swig or the Swoop or the Boof or something, and then get into a fake car in front of a green screen. And he's already a half-century old. He's not getting 22-year-olds in any universe outside of Hollywood movies. I sure hope this is Kirk Douglas's worst movie b/c I'd hate to find one worse.

Fans of Kirk Douglas will love this kitschy detective mystery. Douglas is in his early fifties and his best films (Spartacus in 1960 and Seven Days In May in 1964) are behind him. He still has the chops to be believable as a lothario law and order cop in the style of 'Dirty Harry'. (Although 'Dirty Harry' won't be released for another three years.) The problem is Douglas' character doesn't know if he's Matt Helm (Dean Martin) or Lew Harper (Paul Newman). The result is an unoriginal, contrived and disjointed story with little character development. Douglas swaggers through a myopic and distorted Hollywood version of the "Summer of Love" in a desperate attempt to appear relevant, cool and of the times. Kenyan Hopkins generic musical score of jazz idioms doesn't help matters. The bed hopping, free wheeling playboy with the cool car (1968 Ford Mustang) is just sad and dated up against more realistic and dour character studies like Steve McQueen's character in 'Bullitt' released in the same year. Sylva Koscina is enchanting as the supposed femme fatale and Eli Wallach is semi-ridiculous as a "southern" defense attorney. The "mystery" is tricky enough to keep your attention but just barely.

Cheesy does not even begin to describe it. Some of the most wooden acting and clunkiest dialogue I have ever experienced. It's actually like a Carry On film without the laughs. Not that Kirk Douglas has a cast-iron reputation as a discerning, talented actor, but his appearance in this is just embarrassing. Likewise Eli Wallach. Then there's this plinky-plonky music running along through many scenes, often totally at odds with the mood and images images it accompanies. Add to this some very weird editing and timing. People laugh (at things that are not remotely funny) or respond to things that are said a second too late. And I know it's of its time etc., but the women in the film are all such bimbos and doormats that even I as a man found it offensive at times. Not even "so bad it's good". Just brutal.

Yes, in this typical comedy crime flick from the mid sixties, showing a cool detective, I would have bet my last shirt on George Peppard for the gumshoe role; check his filmography, Universal Studios, and also his usual characters for this period. This character should have been for him and not Kirk Douglas, what a midcast. But this isnot a crap, only a detective plot, plenty of charm and atmosphere of this unique period for the movie industry, directed by a TV director, involving rich people. Paul Newman as Harper for instance should have been the best, or why not Steve Mc Queen, though they were both too good for this kind of junk. This is too light hearted, but amusing.