प्लॉट

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas.

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe. But the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas. He wants all the British dead! But his troops fear the "skirted-devils"; they are rumoured not to wear anything underneath. Then one is caught with his pants on...—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <Simon.N.Smith@cs.cf.ac.uk>

1895 in British Colonial India. While treating each other openly with respect, the British and Indian aristocracy truly do not trust or like the other, the Indian in particular who would like to drive the British out of the region, killing them if need be. However, the Indian fear the British military, who they coin the "devil in dresses" in their kilt uniforms. That fear disappears at least for the Khasi of Kalabar when he discovers something that makes the "devils" appear foolish instead: that they wear underpants under their kilts and do not go au naturel. While this information was only initially passed on to him second hand by his comrade Bungdit Din, he personally receives visual evidence from Lady Ruff-Diamond, the wife of Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond, the British Governor of Kalabar, in the form of a photograph. In her desire for the Khasi, she will not hand over the photograph until she gets what she wants which is to have her way with him. If he can get his hands on the photograph, he would have the evidence needed to convince the Afghans to attack the British forces. Sir Ruff-Diamond's men, led by Captain Keene, thus go on a mission to retrieve the photograph in order to protect their feared status. While they may be aided by the Khasi's daughter, Princess Jehli, who has fallen mutually in love with Keene, the British propensity for a stiff upper lip will ultimately factor into what happens with the potential Afghan uprising against them.—Huggo

It's 1895 and India is the brightest jewel in the British crown. British officers and their wives enjoy a life of luxury in India, matched only by the lifestyle of the local Maharajas.

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (Sid James) is Queen Victoria's Governor in the British India province of Khalabar near the Khyber Pass, where he resides with his wife, Lady Ruff Diamond (Joan Sims). The province is defended by the feared 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment - "The Devils in Skirts" who are said to not wear anything under their kilts.

The 3rd regiment guard the Khyber Pass, the gateway to India. The Khyber Pass is very windy and Private Widdle (Charles Hawtrey) is discomforted with the wind blowing up his kilt. He decides to wear underpants to provide some warmth. Sergeant Major MacNutt (Terry Scott) is contemptuous towards Widdle and assigns him 4 hours of extra guard duty. Widdle encounters warlord, Bungdit Din (Bernard Bresslaw), chief of the warlike Burpa tribe, and faints. While he's unconscious, Bungdit uses the opportunity to confirm his suspicion that the "Devils in Skirts" do in fact wear underpants. He reports the news and the underpants to the Khasi Of Khalabar (Kenneth Williams). The Khasi is the richest and most powerful ruler in Northen India. He hates the British and is looking for an opportunity to rally the locals against their Military supremacy, so he uses the information to incite a rebellion. He aims to dispel the "tough" image of the "Devils in Skirts" by revealing that contrary to popular belief, they do indeed wear underpants under their kilts.

The locals have been fearful of the image of the regiment charging at them wearing nothing underneath, and the Khasi and Bungdit believe that nobody will fear them once they know that their private parts are safely ensconced in their underpants and have no danger of failing about if their skirts start flying in the wind.

The regiment is then reassigned to protect the Governor's mansion. MacNutt reports the Widdle matter to Major Shorthouse (Julian Holloway), who takes it to Captain Keene and the Governor. Keene knows that a little thing like this can trigger a full blown riot. Keene suggests to scratch the rumour before it spreads too far.

A diplomatic operation ensues on the part of the British, who fail spectacularly to prove that the incident was an aberration. In the hope of luring the Khasi into bed with her, Lady Ruff-Diamond takes a photograph of an inspection in which many of the soldiers present are found wearing underpants, and takes it to him. With this hard evidence in hand, the Khasi would be able to muster a ferocious Afghan invasion force, storm the Khyber Pass and reclaim India from British rule; but Lady Ruff-Diamond insists that he sleep with her before she parts with the photograph. He delays on account of her non-attractiveness, eventually taking her away with him to Bungdit Din's palace.

Meanwhile, the Khasi's daughter, Princess Jelhi (Angela Douglas), reveals to the British Captain Keene (Roy Castle), with whom she has fallen in love, that the Governor's wife has eloped with the Khasi, and a team is dispatched to return her and the photo to British hands. Disguised as Afghan generals, Keene, Macnutt, and Widdle, with the help of a tour guide, Brother Belcher (Peter Butterworth), are brought into the palace and, at the Khasi's suggestion, are introduced to Bungdit Din's sultry concubines.

Whilst enjoying the women in the harem, they are unmasked, imprisoned, and scheduled to be executed at sunset along with the Governor's wife. The Khasi's daughter aids their escape in disguise as dancing girls, but during the entertaining of the Afghan generals, the Khasi, contemptuous of an annoying fakir's performance, demands that he see the dancing girls instead.

After their disguises are seen through, the British and the Princess flee, but Lady Ruff-Diamond drops the photograph on leaving the palace through the gardens. The group returns to the Khyber Pass to find its guards massacred and their weapons comically mutilated, in a rare moment of (albeit tainted) poignancy. All attempts to hold off the advancing hordes fail miserably, and a hasty retreat is beaten to the Residency.

The Governor, meanwhile, has been entertaining, in numerical order, the Khasi's fifty-one wives, each one of them wishing to "right the wrong" that his own wife and the Khasi himself have supposedly committed against him (though no such wrong took place), by offering themselves to the Governor. After a browbeating from his wife, Sir Sidney calls a crisis meeting regarding the invasion, in which he resolves to "do nothing because we're British". A black-tie dinner is arranged for that evening.

Dinner takes place while the Khasi's army attack the residency and demolish the exterior, as the officers and ladies ignore the devastation as they dine. Shells shaking the building and plaster falling into the soup do not interrupt dinner, even when the fakir's severed - but still talking - head is served, courtesy of the Khasi.

Only Brother Belcher fails to display a stiff upper lip, and panics like a normal person. Finally, at Captain Keene's suggestion, the gentlemen walk outside to be greeted by a bloody battle being waged in the courtyard. Still dressed in black tie, Sir Sidney orders the Regiment to form a line and lift their kilts, this time exposing their lack of underwear. The invading army is terrified, and retreats at once. The gentlemen walk back inside to resume dinner, whilst Brother Belcher notices the Union flag flown by the governor bearing the slogan I'm Backing Britain and calls them "raving mad".