- Yvonne: I'll go up to Carnaby Street by myself. Find a flat, get a modeling job, then I'll come back and get you.
- Yvonne: Oooh, it's not the sort of place I could afford to be seen in after I'm famous Brenda. Shouldn't think they've even heard of scampi.
- Yvonne: I'll just have to tell them I hadn't the facilities available to achieve the new switched-on casual look.
- Jeremy Tove: [to Yvonne] Can you sing?
- Brenda: She's tone-deaf, actually.
- Jeremy Tove: Great! So, we'll make a record. Psychedelic, but not turned-on. Ahh... Cellos, definitely, and, let me see... Got it! Tuba and washboard and, ah, broaden up your northern accent a bit. Remember that you worked in a mill.
- Yvonne: I didn't, I worked in a record shop.
- Jeremy Tove: You worked in a mill, baby!
- Charlotte Brillig: I'm called Charlotte Brillig. Call me Charlotte.
- Brenda: My name's Brenda!
- Charlotte Brillig: How super! I don't think that I have ever met anyone called *Brenda* before.
- Sweeney Todd Manager: Okay, you've only got fifteen minutes, you must get into your Street Bawd outfit, in the Ladies I'm afraid - and very fast too.
- Yvonne: Street Bawd? What's a Street Bawd?
- Sweeney Todd Manager: An eighteenth century lady of the town dear. A Trollop. A Tart!
- Mrs. Gimble: [Brenda enters Mrs Gimble's shop] Yes, if it's animal paws to hang about you on your scooter, the answer is definitely no. They come in here, these little Mods, asking for animal paws, then, while your back's turned, a nice bit of Skunk vanishes up their knickers!
- Bobby Mome-Rath: Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!
- [Brenda wearing "Pussy" costume runs to his table]
- Bobby Mome-Rath: I'm still waiting for my -
- [She hands him his bill]
- Brenda: [Brenda whispers to Yvonne] Don't go with him, he's only after one thing.
- Yvonne: Is that true, Bobby? She says you're only after one thing.
- Bobby Mome-Rath: The bill, that is all I ask for, and I warn you, pussycat, attempt to interfere with my private affairs and I shall have you thrown out of that door before you can say meow!
- Brenda: Is this your boat, Tom?
- Tom Wabe: Yeah. All right, isn't it?
- Brenda: Yes, it's lovely, but I thought you were taking me out for something to eat.
- Tom Wabe: Well, it's all here - nice steak, bottle of plonk, got a melon in the fridge and, uh, I'll start taking your snaps nice and early in the morning, when we get up, like.
- Brenda: Look, I may be green but I'm not cabbage-coloured. Oh, I don't pretend that I don't fancy you, but I'm not that easy. I'm not staying!
- [Brenda then climbs aboard Tom's boat]
- Dominic: Guess what we've got for you, Yvonne - a cheque for ten thousand pounds !
- Yvonne: Ten thousand! That's smashing!
- Dominic: Yes, ten thousand pounds for this little lady here, that's nothing, we know, this week's special jackpot prize that "You Can't Help Laughing" has given since it started, three years ago.
- [Yvonne kisses Dominic on the cheek]
- Dominic: . Wow ! Let's hope the wife isn't watching. No, no, it's all good fun, honestly, I wouldn't change my job for the world - bringing happiness and glamour into simple, ordinary people's drab little lives. Well, here you are Yvonne, your cheque
- [Dominic hands cheque to Yvonne]
- Dominic: And see you all next week for another great half-hour to prove that... "You Can't Help Laughing!"
- Brenda: [Brenda and Charlotte enter boutique] Why is it called Too Much? Won't that put off customers thinking everything's so pricey?
- Charlotte Brillig: Not if they're stinking rich enough.
- Jeremy Tove: [holding Yvonne's cheque for ten thousand pounds] Ten grand! Well, I'm telling you, man, we're going to need all of that for a start.
- Brenda: What do you need all of the ten thousand for, anyway?
- Yvonne: Don't stick your nose in, Brenda, it's my money and Mr Tove knows what he's doing.
- Jeremy Tove: No, Yvonne, she's quite right to ask. I mean, anyone who doesn't know this rat race would ask. So I'll tell you. First of all, we've got to buy her into the charts, right? Then we've got to sweeten the disc-jocks and manufacture the image - right? Then we have to sell that image - right? Now for all of that, ten grand is not really enough bread, but, given a bit of luck and know-how, it could happen.
- The Caretaker: All right, what's all that noise about then! Oh!, morning sir.
- Bobby Mome-Rath: Hello Sergeant, this bloody lift wouldn't budge when I tried it a moment ago, it seems to be all right now, sorry to have got you out before dawn.
- The Caretaker: Oh, quite all right sir, why don't I come up with you in case she turns bolshie again?
- Bobby Mome-Rath: Oh, might as well, I suppose, then if you have to climb out through the roof to get help, I can give you a leg up.
- The Caretaker: Very decent of you sir, very decent indeed!
- Jeremy Tove: [to Yvonne, describing his proposed show-business party] This won't be just a party! This will be the greatest trip since Noah's Ark. Listen, we'll ask the whole of turned-on London, P.R.O's, Tele Producers, Gangsters, Pop Stars, Paperback Writers, M.B.E's, it will be the spadest freak-out of all time! It will cost every penny we've got left!.
- Yvonne: [Jeremy Tove and Yvonne discuss possible venues for her show-business party] Right, you've sold it! Where do we own it! Albert Hall?
- Jeremy Tove: No, that is *too* draggy.
- Yvonne: Buckingham Palace ?
- Jeremy Tove: Well, good for publicity, but they wouldn't wear it. Brilliant, I've got it! The Revolving Restaurant, London's heaven-threatener, the scene with the built-in trip, the Tower!
- [Shot of Post Office Tower follows]
- Brenda: [In front of St Pancras station, Brenda approaches a man drinking out of a Wine bottle] Excuse me sir, do you know where Carnaby Street is by any chance?
- Irishman: [Irishman hurls bottle at a "Keep Britain Tidy" sign, smashing it, then replies drunkenly] What was that you asked me miss?.
- Brenda: [Asks timidly] Carnaby Street.
- Irishman: [Drunkenly] Can er Cannedy Street, oh! that I do, I,m going that way meself now, follow me!
- [the Irishman then leads the girls to Camden]
- Yvonne: [Yvonne and Brenda are walking down the platform after the arrival of their train] Hey! And don't go talking to any fellas, remember that article I showed you in the Sunday paper.
- Brenda: You mean the one about the man who wanted ladies to stand on his stomach?
- Yvonne: No, the one about the perils that lurk at London railway stations for young girls coming down from the north with their hearts full of dreams.
- Brenda: Like us, you mean? Or at least like you!