The Million Eyes of Sumuru

This (like Satan in High Heels, Myra Breckinridge, and Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) is one of those unknown delights produced by the Fab, Mod, Decadent Decade of the Sixties. The child of twisted, tacky sleazemeister Harry Allan Towers (sort of the UK's answer to Russ Meyers--somebody really ought to do a book on Towers--his collaboration with Spanish schlock artist Jesus Franco alone is worth some sort of award for the pinnacle of filmic tackiness), this movie has very little to do with the original novels by Fu Manchu's father, Sax Rohmer. The novels are well worth seeking out--try any online auction site. The best of them is probably The Return of Sumuru and it's pretty easy to get hold of. The original novels were rife with racist attitudes left over from the bygone era of British imperialism, with some new Cold War hysteria and anti-feminist paranoia thrown in for good measure. Sumuru, who was really the heroine, spent most of the novels lolling around nude on mink rugs smoking endless cigarettes or stalking around in high heels sipping liqueur and pondering how ugliness was the root of all that was wrong with the modern world. Rohmer came from an era when homosexuality simply wasn't mentioned so some of the lesbian implications of Sumuru's paradise were glossed over with almost unbelievable naivete. Trust Harry Allan Towers not to let THAT moxie slip past his capable paws. He even includes Klaus Kinski as a gay man marked for death by Sumuru--perhaps because he couldn't be seduced by any of her agents (though I'm sure he would have LOVED to have helped her with her wardrobe, had she given him a chance).

As Sumuru, Shirley Eaton chews up the scenery with tremendous eclat, and gets fantastic dramatic mileage out of that cigarette holder. Check out her new autobiography for some behind the scenes anecdotes about the filming of the two movies (and the true story of how Towers shamelessly grabbed footage from the Rio film and inserted it in the Blood of Fu Manchu without Shirley's knowledge). Frankie Avalon, George Nader and Wilfred Hyde-White are all ridiculous as Sumuru's opponents, which is exactly as it should be. Of Sumuru's agents, my favorite would have to be Helga, as incarnated by the zaftig Maria Rohm (a regular of various Towers productions--I think she was his girlfriend).

It is truly tragic that this movie is ONLY available as an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Something this sublimely awful deserves to be savored in pristine form. Picket YOUR video store today, and demand Sumuru movies now!

The Million Eyes of Sumuru is another movie produced by exploitation maven Harry Alan Towers. Like quite a few of his others it has a unique combination of low budget with exotic location shooting. In this case the action takes place in Hong Kong. The title character is Sumuru (essentially a female Fu Manchu) who plans on ruling the world by using her army of gorgeous women who go out individually and kill all of the world's leading men after getting up close and personal with them by way of their considerable female charms. These 'unfortunate' male saps are then dispatched by a device that turns them into stone. Anyway, via this grand plan Sumuru will take over the world somehow.

This is one of the films that surfed the wave of success created by the James Bond movies which were massive in the 60's. To that end it has a very agreeable combination of exotic locations and hot premier division women. The very fact that the plot-line to this one actively focuses on a woman with an army of babes meant that this one got plus points from me more or less straight away. The 60's glamour essentially is what makes this one work for me. From the thrills and spills side of the fence it's pretty half-hearted, this is a film after all which could be summed up with the word 'breezy', so it's best not to go into this one expecting any pulse pounding action.

The star of the piece is Shirley Eaton in the role of Sumuru. She would go on to forever be known as the lady painted gold in the earlier Bond classic Goldfinger (1964) but it's nice to see her get a starring role here (she also repeated the role in the follow up movie The Girl from Rio (1969), which is another poorly rated film which I happen to like a lot more than most others it seems). This one also benefits from the appearance of two other cult film stars in the beautiful Maria Rohm as a female agent (who is 'turned' by the main 'hero' who was not much more than a sex-pest I thought) and we also have Klaus Kinski appear as one of the high ranking men who is targeted by Sumuru, he even gets to sport a very silly wig in the process. On the whole, this is a movie which seems to have something of a bad reputation which I personally think is somewhat unfair. It has beautiful women, exotic locations and breezy action. That might not be enough for some but it was enough for me.

This flick was always on a "double-bill" because nobody in it (including one of the leads, Frankie Avalon - who starred in Beach Movies before this) was REALLY A-list quality talent, except for the beautiful Ms. Shirley Eaton (Painted-gold girl in GOLDFINGER). The plot is wack-city on a bad dexedrine trip with ancient greed or something. The sacriligious testament to Z-movie cultures exemplifies NOTHING! This flick isn't even EVIL or robotic, it's just a zenith of confusion ("plot"-wise), let alone there's some beautiful babes spouting Amazon-like platitudes about illusions of purity.

Needless to say, this sounds like a turkey (and technically it is), but it's an exploitation film without any known characteristic (sex, violence, bikers, horror..etc.) and manages to make you believe that these characters are actually believing what they're saying. George Nader was never great shakes as an actor, but had a lengthy career without having "known" talent or good hair. Shirley Eaton, one of the brightest, most beautiful and enchanting Brits of the 50's and 60's never gets to show something. But you have to check this one out. I give it a high (7) for this kind of thing rating, ..only because everyone involved SEEMS convinced it's a REAL PLOT! Anyway, give it a shot (if you can find it). Quite enjoyable in a sleepy, demented way.

Anti-male syndicate of beautiful female assassins, led by the no-nonsense, whip-wielding Sumuru (Shirley Eaton) at their base of operations near Hong Kong, plots international domination by ridding the world of its male leaders; two wisecracking American agents (Frankie Avalon and George Nader) use their masculine charms to save mankind. UK production, distributed Stateside by American-International Pictures, is a fairly tepid adventure yarn with 'humorous' asides. There are some interesting ideas (any woman who betrays Sumuru by falling in love with a man is automatically targeted for extermination), but not enough imagination or excitement. Eaton strikes a formidable figure as all-powerful Sumuru, and her army is certainly attractive, but film is a mishmash of clichés handicapped further by the casting of puerile Avalon and Nader, both lead weights. Eaton played Sumuru again in 1969's "The Girl From Rio". *1/2 from ****

It is really strange that most people seem to think this movie is unintentionally funny, but the truth is it surely was made as a parody of the 60's spy movies. George Nader is frequently bumping into something and has a lot of funny lines to say. He is obviously the stupid counterpart of his other role at this time, FBI agent "Jerry Cotton".

A big problem in enjoying this beautiful fun is however, that most available versions present this (shot in 2,35:1-Scope) film in shitty fullscreen transfers, so you can see only half of the real image and missing much important picture information on both sides, so you sometimes can hardly tell what's going on.

I'm sure, the day this finally will be released in a decent OAR-transfer the film will win a lot of admirers!