The Fastest Guitar Alive

Roy Orbison and Sammy Jackson are both spies for the Confederacy who are planning on robbing a gold shipment. They pose as patent medicine salesmen and Roy also doubles as a dance hall singer.

This was the film that single-handedly killed Roy Orbison's acting career. It's hard to believe now, but in the 60s he was a VERY hot commodity and the Beatles were at one time HIS opening act! This movie was an attempt to make him like the new Elvis in movies, though his ability to play a romantic lead or show any emotion was nil. Perhaps given time he might have been a decent actor, but here he just isn't given much to work with and he just seems like a fish out of water.

So what's wrong with the film? Much of the problem were the songs. While most of Roy's songs were actually very enjoyable (despite having the sound of an electric guitar and orchestra in the Old West), a few of the song in the film were just awful. The "Goodtime Party" song was just awful and the music and clapping were way out of sync. In addition, there was a song by the dance hall girls without Roy near the beginning of the film that had me pondering suicide--it was THAT bad and the lyrics were wretched. The title alone of the song pretty much says it all--"Snuggle Huggle" and it was the only song in the film Roy didn't write or co-write.

As for the writing, it was generally fair to poor except when it came to the "kooky Indians". These supposed Indians were terribly unfunny and were less believable as Indians than when Mel Brooks played one in BLAZING SADDLES (and his was intended to be bad).

Overall, this is a very limp film only of interest to bad film freaks and the curious.

Singing guitar-slinger Roy Orbison (as Johnny Banner) and hunky sidekick Sammy Jackson (as Steve Menlo) battle more Indians than Union soldiers as they work "undercover" for President Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy. When the Civil War ends, a booty of gold they stole from the USA for the CSA makes Mr. Orbison and his pal WANTED men. They are also desired, but for kissing instead of killing, by pretty sisters Maggie Pierce and Joan Freeman (as Flo and Sue Chestnut).

Producer Sam Katzman, who did "Kissin' Cousins" (1964) and "Harum Scarum" (1965) with Elvis, probably wanted Presley for this picture. After Colonel Parker declined, it might have been offered to Ricky Nelson. Father Ozzie would never agree to a film without complete production control, so that wouldn't have gone anywhere. So, what about Roy Orbison? He had the same sort of record success, and was owed a shot at movie stardom as part of his manager's deal with MGM's record subsidiary.

Orbison received millions from the package, which moved him from Monument to MGM records. The deal turned out to be a disaster, which is reflected in this film. Even the hit records stopped. The best "The Fastest Guitar Alive" song showing was "Pistolero" appearing on the B-side of a minor "Top 100" hit - which turned out to be the last Orbison appearance on the record charts until the 1980s. To make matters worse, Orbison had to deal with some personal tragedies. Roy was better than this.

** The Fastest Guitar Alive (9/1/67) Michael D. Moore ~ Roy Orbison, Sammy Jackson, Joan Freeman, Maggie Pierce

I know people, this movie is as bad as it gets. I'm was a huge Roy fan but surely when he looked at the days shoot, he had to cringe at his performance. Roy was never one to win a beauty contest and his acting, unlike his beautiful voice, was terrible. Out of respect for Roy, I have tried to watch the movie on three different occasions and each time I switched to Family Guy. Rest In Peace Roy, you were a great singer.

As a fan of Roy Orbison's music I can only suggest you view this film with an open mind. Roy was a great singer, was a horrible actor and shouldn't be what he isn't. The music is sub-standard and the idea that Roy could be a matinee idol is beyond his scope in this piece of tripe. It's been said that this vehicle was to be an "Elvis movie" ... it isn't even that good. The plot is thin, if you consider this a plot! The acting slightly above that of a simple children's television show calibre, the directing is laughable and any attempt at humour doesn't reach heights attained by James Arness! Video tapes and DVDs on this release should last in your library for quite a few years, you won't watch it but the once! Remember Roy Orbison for his music: positive, creative and unique!

I only watched because Roy is in it. Bless his heart, but he tried. Cheesy funny, I even changed my rating from a 3 to a 4 just because the bad jokes tickled me