"Tarzan and the Valley of Gold" is one of the most bizarre and entertaining movies I have seen in quite a while. A number of questions come to mind, not the least of which was When exactly did Tarzan learn how to operate a tank in battle?
The answer is rooted in the objective of the film, which was to update Tarzan to compete with James Bond. Since 007 is naturally familiar with all methods of transport and can successfully employ any firearm ever made, it should go without saying that Tarzan would be just as handy with whatever means are at his disposal. He could probably disarm a nuke and target missiles to blast each other in midair too if the plot depended on it.
Some have questioned why Tarzan would travel to Mexico dressed in a suit, and I challenge that with basic knowledge of Edgar Rice Borroughs' novels where Tarzan at one point travels to America to find Jane and then settles down with her at the Greystoke Estate in England -- do people think he went all that distance in a loincloth?
Mike Henry is great as Tarzan. In the first six minutes of the movie he shoots a guy in the face during a botched assassination attempt, then crushes another guy under a giant Coca-Cola bottle in what has to be the most clever product placement I've seen in a movie since James Bond back-flipped an opponent into a stack of empty Red Stripe Lager boxes.
The film is exceedingly violent. I would put a rough estimate of the body count at about fifty, including the innocent peasants gunned down by the evil crime syndicate's henchmen. Tarzan himself wipes out about forty guys including three goons in a helicopter he takes out in a wonderful ripoff of "From Russia With Love"'s famous helicopter duel. Instead of just shooting the pilot Tarzan rigs a bolo using a couple of grenades and hooks it around the engine block. Those jungle skills pay off in the most unusual ways.
Tarzan is of course dispatched to Mexico to get into a game of wits with an evil crime syndicate boss whose forces have kidnapped a young boy to give young boys in the audience someone to identify with -- this is a family adventure film, we remind ourselves, as Tarzan uses a Browning Automatic Rifle to machine gun down a bunch of thugs in a cave, blows up a truck full of men, and then asphyxiates the big evil goon character in the film's showdown by half-Nelsoning the guy to death.
He is the perfect Vietnam War era action hero, so de-sensitized to carnage & suffering that all he can manage to come up with to console the young boy with is "Hey, what's all this now? " when the kid starts crying out of concern that his people will be massacred by the guys in the tanks. Some of them are but nobody really seems to care about it that much, and in the concluding wrapping it all up speech the tribal leader admits that sometimes you need to resort to violence after all.
The Mike Henry Tarzan films are apparently a body of work that were so dangerous for the performers to make that Henry very understandably declined to work on the Ron Ely Tarzan television show of the same era after Dinky the Chimp bit Henry in the jaw on the set of the next adventure, requiring twenty stitches to sew up and giving Henry a case of "Chimp Fever" that took him out of the production for three weeks while he recovered. Just what Chimp Fever is I have no idea and even less interest to learn.
The issue of unsafe work conditions is even further underscored by Ron Ely's string of injuries incurred while he worked on the TV show, and looking at the hands on approach to the stunt work evident in this movie it's a miracle that nobody was killed making these films. This is one of those movies that make you wonder just what the HELL people were thinking when they cooked it up: Out of control helicopters, live ammunition, explosions going off right next to the star performers, you name it.
I will agree that Mike Henry does make a fabulous Tarzan, and to remind us of just who the hero was they even let him swing on a couple of vines, though I was disappointed that he never gave that famous Tarzan yell ... though then again since there are no elephants native to Mexico to stampede the effect would have been gratuitous.
And yet there is something hypnotically watchable about the film, including a marvelous sequence where a jaguar sets off in search of the boy & Tarzan trots along behind with a wonderful little jazz music score twittering in the background. The makers of this movie were definitely onto something and it's too bad the franchise sort of petered out, leaving it up to the Italians to continue with their own unofficial series with names like Tarzak, Zambo, and Zan, which are no more silly, improbable, or entertaining than this movie.
And had more women. There is only one in this whole film and while she is a comely little lass Tarzan seems about as fascinated by her as he is by that Coke bottle he pushes over on the assassin in the beginning of the movie. Is he so smitten by Jane that the thought of intimately interacting with another woman never enters his mind? As the credits roll they walk off into the sunset, and something tells me he never busted a move on her. In any event it's immensely entertaining and Tarzan saves the day with just a good rope, a hunting knife, and a soft piece of leather. Sounds kinky.
7/10
