Le spie vengono dal semifreddo

One of my sci-fi/horror/fantasy reviews written 50 years ago: Directed by Mario Bava; Produced by Fulvio Lucisano and Louis Heyward for American-International Pictures. Screenplay by Heyward and Robert Kaufman; Photography by Antonio Rinaldi; Edited by Ronald Sinclair; Music by Les Baxter; Assistant Director: Lamberto Bava. Starring: Vincent Price, Fabian, Franco Franchia, Ciccio Ingrassia, Laura Antonelli and Francesco Mule.

Ridiculous comedown for Mario Bava, reduced to banal slapstick comedy, imitating the dregs of the Bond/Helm sexy espionage genre. Price craps out as the mad scientist and a pair of Italian low comics overdo their Abbott & Costello approach, while talented Laura Antonelli is decorative. Exploding robot girls as plot premise is even dumber than in "Bikini Machine" forerunner.

In the 1960's, during the heyday of the weekend matinée and drive in movie lots, the American movie market burned through film at a truly phenomenal pace. In earlier days, Hollywood had satisfied this need with B Movie quickies: one week wonders pumped out by the now all but dead studio system. Now, in order to satisfy the voracious hunger of the American cinema, film distributors, such as American International Pictures, tapped foreign markets, importing films from Europe and Asia, quickly providing them with an English language soundtrack of sometimes dubious quality and then swiftly firing them into movie houses to fill the ever popular Double Bills.

In the process of converting these films into English, they were often re-scored and edited for content, to remove those dangerous seconds of celluloid that were deemed either too violent or too sexy for American audiences. While this process allowed the distributor to make slight alterations to a film, it remained, essentially, the same movie in the USA as it had been in its country of origin.

Such is not the case with LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS.

Both films begin with the military leaders of various nations being lured into an explosive, and fatal, kiss by the scantily clad charms of the insidious Dr. Goldfoot's robot girl bombs, and both films end with a climactic confrontation between the forces of good and evil aboard an airborne American jumbo bomber, but the events between produce two very different movies.

DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS stars the popular singer and would-be actor Fabian as well intentioned but barely competent Bill Dexter, an agent of the Security Intelligence Command, or SIC. Though he has been suspended by SIC, Dexter is the only one who realizes the threat posed by Dr. Goldfoot. Assisted by Colonel Benson's gorgeous, but frigid, secretary, Rosanna, ( the anything but frigid Laura Antonelli ) Dexter bumbles his way through various clichéd perils to save NATO's leaders from being blown to bits.

LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO stars the Italian comedy duo of Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia as a pair of totally incompetent accidental spies, who, following information from American agent Bill Dexter, manage to track the villainous Dr. Goldfoot to his lair, and then get trapped there by him. Dexter arrives on the scene to rescue the bumbling duo, just in time for the climactic chase and final showdown aboard the bomber.

What both versions share is that neither will ever be mistaken for a great movie comedy. The scripts are weak, the jokes poor and Fabian is attractive, but bland. Then there are Franco and Ciccio. There are no shortage of great Italian directors, singers, actors and composers, but somehow the list of great Italian film comedians is much, much shorter. I suspect that Franco and Ciccio are indicative of the reason why. An even less appealing team than Marty Allen and Steve Rossi in LAST OF THE SECRET AGENTS, it is truly frightening to reflect on this duo of barely talented "comedians" being so popular as to star in over one hundred motion pictures.

Surprisingly, then, it is LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO that is the better of the two movies. Without a doubt the best thing about either film is Vincent Price, and his Dr. Goldfoot character is better treated, though barely so, in the Italian release. Because of the increased screen time given to Franco and Ciccio, the Dexter character is presented in a more straightforward manner in his reduced role and comes off the better for it. Lastly, several of the American version's most preposterously bad moments, such as the very poorly done demise of Rosanna's robot double, are wisely not in the Italian cut of the film. The substituted Franco and Ciccio scenes are merely silly, rather than painfully embarrassing.

In watching either version, it is difficult to believe that the director was the great Mario Bava. On the other hand it is, sadly, very easy to believe reports that Bava undertook the job simply to fulfill contractual obligations, and had no great personal investment in the final project. Bava's innovative use of visuals, his mastery of colour and composition, were usually able to overcome the poorer scripts he sometimes had to work with. However LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO displays none of Mario Bava's usual flare, and frankly could have been directed by anyone.

The basic concept of LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO / DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS is an intriguing one; filled with potential. In the hands of talents like Vincent Price and Mario Bava the result should have been a first rate black comedy. Unfortunately the combination of too many other factors, both behind and in front of the camera, diminished the final result into films which are little more than interesting curiosities.

For fans of Mario Bava, Vincent Price or simply for the curious, both films have been made available on home video. DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS was released in a fair pan and scan VHS edition in 1995 as part of MGM's Vincent Price Collection. It is now out of print. LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO was recently released by IIF on DVD in a very nice 1.85:1 widescreen edition.

MASTER PLAN: blow up key U.S. generals with booby-trapped girl robots. The diabolical Dr. Goldfoot is back, in this sequel to "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine"(65). No lie! How they talked Vincent Price into this, I'm not sure, though he was already hamming it up in the previous movie. Here he's joined by a couple of comics who were Italy's answer to Abbott & Costello. Teen heartthrob Fabian replaces teen heartthrob Frankie Avalon as an agent of S.I.C., oh, yes! Rather than simple theft, which he indulged in previously, here Goldfoot teams with the Chinese for probable world domination (those dastardly Chinese - see also "Battle Beneath the Earth" which came out around the same time). Goldfoot explains all this by speaking directly to the audience, breaking that 4th wall. He still uses a machine which manufactures female robots, all dressed in golden bathing suits and boots, which he sends to kiss various generals; an intense enough smooch sets off an explosion. The only general left standing is Goldfoot's double. All this is kind of incidental; the main plot has the two main leads/buffoons improbably/accidentally join up with S.I.C. as agents.

Goldfoot, of course, is a broad parody of the outrageous villains from the James Bond films. He has a swimming pool of killer fish, probably something like piranha, so, every now and then, a skeleton turns up, freshly cleaned. This also copies "Our Man Flint" a bit, with the latest IBM computer (Rita) sabotaged by Goldfoot when it selects the best agents for the job. The two comedians are not very subtle, with over-the-top mugging, and a lot of the action is sped up (undercranked) to give it that slapstick silent comedy feeling. Otherwise, much of the humor falls flat, though it does pick up near the end. I've written that the previous Goldfoot movie was the most ridiculous parody of the Bond craze, but this Italian take on the whole thing takes it to yet another level. The final half-hour gives a new meaning to the term 'absurdity,' involving a balloon trip by the heroes which touches off of heaven at one point and then chases down a supersonic jet plane! Laura Antonelli figures prominently in these last few scenes; she became a somewhat famous sex symbol in Italian sex farces in the seventies. My DVD version was in Italian, with optional English subtitles. Heroes:3 Villain:4 Femme Fatales:5 Henchmen:2 Fights:2 Stunts/Chases:3 Gadgets:3 Auto:2 Locations:3 Pace:3 overall:3

This is the second Dr. Goldfoot movie. What can I say about this film? It is a second rate sequel. Instead of Frankie Avalon, they got Fabian. The film was shot in Italy with a couple of goofy Italian comics. This one was played more for laughs. (Not that they got them.) Vincent Price is the ONLY reason to see this film. He has alot of gleeful fun as the evil doctor.

The final chase scene takes place in an Italian amusement park and is reminicent of an H.R. Puffinstuff episode. Lots of running around and unneccesary amusement park rides.

Fans of Austin Powers and/or Vincent Price will want to see this. Everyone else might be warned to see better films.

A rather bizarre mix of surreal gags, verbal comedy (including some breaking of the fourth wall) and juvenile slapstick (prepare for lots and lots of fast motion), "Dr. Goldfoot And The Girl Bombs" suffers from often shoddy special effects, and Franco Franchi's mugging will not be to everybody's taste, to put it mildly, but it also has its strengths: Vincent Price is far and away the best thing in the film, clearly having a ball with atypical (for him) low comedy, but hitting some high spots as well, through his excellent delivery ("And then there were none!"). The women are beautiful in that still-unsurpassed 1960s way, and they are everywhere you look! The one with the largest role is a young Laura Antonelli, in one of her first films: not only does she have a steamy seduction scene (playing a robot version of her human character), but she also shows a knack for slapstick comedy. I'd say take a chance with this film, even if you don't like it, it's short enough (about 80 minutes) not to take up too much of your time. Funniest bit: the recreation of the classic "mirror sequence" from "Duck Soup". ** out of 4.