Se tutte le donne del mondo... (Operazione Paradiso)

In the 1960s, the James Bond movies were so successful that it led to MANY knock-off movies. Some of them were pretty serious (such as the Jerry Cotton movies starring George Nader) and some were utterly ridiculous and didn't try to be serious spy movies (such as the Matt Helm movies). I'd say "Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die" is somewhat in the middle...in some ways a serious Bond-like film as well as a parody at the same time.

The plot of "Kiss the Girls" is actually pretty similar to "Moonraker"...an official Bond movie which seems like a parody of itself due to all the gadgets and the silly sci-fi plot. And, like "Moonraker", the baddie hopes to wipe out the human race so he and his bevvy of sexy ladies in suspended animation can repopulate the planet!

Out to stop him in Ageny Kelly of the CIA (Mike Connors), a banana-chomping secret agent who is tough but not nearly as competent as Bond. To make up for his deficiencies, a female British agent (Dorothy Provine) helps along with a HUGE number of gadgets that she and her chauffeur (Terry-Thomas) have at their disposal.

So is this any good? Well, it's not dull. But it also isn't very good either. Connors is fine in the lead though later in the story he seems to have very little to do. Provine is terrible, as she seems about as British as a taco! Plus all the gadgets get to be pretty silly after a while. Overall, a curiosity more than a good movie...but one that isn't dull at all.

Kiss the Girls and Make them Die has a great title, and since it was shot in 1966, great chic value at this point. Plus it was a studio movie with enough budget to be shot with top shelf cinematography, film stock, and sets (including locations in Brazil), but the actors don't really carry it over the top. Mike Connors is recognizable and active, but his lines aren't the best. It's not edgy or intense enough to shadow James Bond, and not camp enough to be Matt Helm. It's quite a blah in between. ANother problem is there are a LOT ofstylistic and plot 'borrowings' from the specific Bond movie You Only Live Twice, and this undermines it being a parody. Then there are moments when the film inexplicably fails to capitalize on both small and big moments, and just kind of lets them drift away, which is frustrating because at other times you're marvelling at the frame and sets.

Most of the female actresses are forgettable, particularly the one who develops into the lead. The arch villain is threatening, but also not maximized, and his henchman is particularly uninteresting, and unconvincing as a bad guy. THe film switches up between serious and campy, and it's just not written clever enough to pull it off.

That said, the movie is visually gorgeous, with shots of a Rio De Janiero in the late 1960s, with one fantastic interior after another, a mix of Brazilian culture with mid-century modern. You want to see a Rolls Royce driving a jungle road? You'll see it here. It's too bad the leads weren't more engaging, or given more character in the script to work with.

Unlike the MATT HELM or DEREK FLINT films made around the same time, KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE is so terrible that it's absolutely great fun to watch ! 1 year shy of his stint as MANNIX, Mike Connors is sent to Rio de Janiero to stop the evil Mr. Ardonian and his sterility inducing satellite ! Helping Connors is Dorothy Provine as an oh so propper lady spy. Provine is chauffered around Brazil by fey Terry Thomas while she sips tea from a full silver service ! Pass the Grey Poupon ! Assisting Mr. Ardonian is a creepy looking guy who resembles Peter Lorre if he'd been a platinum blond. The usual bevy of gorgeous girls are present, and most look like either Joan Collins or Nancy Kovack ! This movie is an absolute treat, a sort of guilty pleasure to watch like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Make the popcorn and enjoy !

I have a friend who is trying to lose some weight. To accomplish this, he recently went on a banana diet. Whenever he's hungry he just eats a banana. Well it looks like Kelly, the hero of this film, is on the same diet. He eats bananas throughout the movie, to comedic effect and at the most unexpected of times. The man eats a banana while dangling from the back of a moving speedboat! Then he casually tosses the peel into the water!

It's a spoof of other spy films, but it never goes too far overboard with the parody like Austin Powers, which is what I love about it. The main character is not an unbelievable buffoon, but a smart, capable, sophisticated spy—not unlike James Bond but with his own, funny personality—with a few good one-liners and who appreciates a good banana. Sure, it's very cheesy at times, but that is balanced with a generous helping of action and a decent storyline, topped off with spot-on performances and fun dialogue. There is one stunt in particular, involving a helicopter and a well-known Brazilian statue that had me on the edge of my seat.

This movie is both funny and tense. It's never boring, and every scene has something good in it. Mike Connors is great in the lead role, and he's backed up by some outstanding performances by Susan Fleming and Raf Vallone. However, I particularly enjoyed Terry-Thomas' pitch-perfect performance in the role of an unassuming chauffeur with a few tricks up his sleeve.

I saw this film at a revival house in Los Angeles many decades after its release. I was initially intrigued because of the awesomely hilarious title and the strange but funny trailer I'd seen played the previous week at the same theater. Everyone in the theater laughed and had a good time, but after it was over I overheard some of the other people in the theater say that it was so bad it was good. I didn't get that feeling. I just felt like it was good. I haven't been able to find it on home video and I get the feeling that it never received a wide home video release, if any, but if you get a chance to watch it I highly recommend it.

Mercifully not nearly as offensive as that title suggests (which the makers were actually proud enough of to base a title song on) although the threatening names as producer and director of Dino De Laurentis and Henry Levin serve as ample warning that the results will be predictably banal; the biggest surprise in the credits being the name of the distinguished TV writer Jack Pulman.

Chuck Connors is personable enough foiling a particularly daft scheme by Raf Vallone to rule the world, but what makes the film is a lively Dorothy Provine as an English agent with a cut-glass accent and her very own Parker in the form of Terry-Thomas.