- Samantha Steel: My name is Samantha Steel. Some people call me Sam.
- Harry Palmer: Edmund Dorf. Some people call me Edna.
- Harry Palmer: Oh, by the way, is old Klaus Burger still alive?
- Reinhardt: The forger?
- Harry Palmer: Yeah, the forger.
- Reinhardt: I'd like to run you out of Berlin, Palmer! You and MI5 and the Deuxième Bureau and the CIA and the rest of them. Then I can do my job instead of providing work for every forger, confidence man, thief, and murderer in this town!
- Harry Palmer: Oh, I agree, I agree, I agree. But... is old man Klaus still alive?
- Colonel Stok: I wish to defect, but there are conditions.
- Harry Palmer: What do you want?
- Colonel Stok: I want colonel's pay for life.
- Harry Palmer: Don't we all.
- Colonel Stok: A house in the country.
- Harry Palmer: Oh, how many bedrooms?
- Colonel Stok: Bedrooms do not matter. But I must have a big garden. I am a peasant at heart, and I want to grow roses in my old age.
- Harry Palmer: In England, roses are out - weeds are in. Is that all?
- Colonel Stok: That is all. I want comfort and security.
- Harry Palmer: You've got all that in Russia now.
- Colonel Stok: Aah, in Russia there is no place for an old Bolshevik. In my job I have made too many enemies.
- Harry Palmer: Well, what about your family?
- Colonel Stok: My wife died in a German air raid in 1941; my only son hasn't written to me in three years. What would you do in my position?
- Harry Palmer: I'd stop telling lies, for a start. You have no son, and your wife is in Kiev with your daughter Katya. I know everything about you, Colonel Stok... from the size of your refrigerator to the cubic capacity of your mistress.
- Colonel Stok: Do you play chess?
- Harry Palmer: Yes, but I prefer a game with a better chance of cheating.
- Harry Palmer: She picked me up last night, and - with my irrestible charm - I want to know why, and who she's working for.
- Colonel Stok: If there is a mistake, the KRAPOs will be shooting at me.
- Harry Palmer: That'll be nice: you'll find out what it's like to be an East German.
- Colonel Stok: You are insolent! Do you think this job, this loathsome Wall, is all I've done for Communism? Does Smolensk mean anything to you, or Stalingrad?
- [chuckles]
- Colonel Stok: I look at your stupid face and I think you mean what you say. I like you, you're good at your job. You need only one thing.
- Harry Palmer: What's that?
- Colonel Stok: A reason for doing it.
- Harry Palmer: I get paid.
- Colonel Stok: £30 a week? Is it worth it - to be a tool of the generals? A tool for making trouble? Trouble makes arms, arms make money...
- Harry Palmer: When you get to England, we'll give you a soapbox. You sure you want to defect tomorrow?
- Colonel Stok: I told you, I'm still a good Communist. When a man leaves his wife, he remembers his wedding night. Communism was the love of my youth, and I've been faithful... until now. I was with Antonov-Ovseyenko at the storming of the Winter Palace in 1917. Do you know what that means in Russia?
- Harry Palmer: Yes, I think so. It means you're an expendable hero.
- [On his proposed defection]
- Colonel Stok: And for you it is a propaganda victory - my name is worth a headline.
- Harry Palmer: We get plenty of Russians. It's a pity you're not Chinese.
- Harry Palmer: I think that Vulkan is connected with this man Broum.
- Ross: Brilliant, Palmer. Vulkan *is* this man Paul Louis Broum.
- Ross: Well, you've bungled the rest of it. Get rid of him.
- Harry Palmer: Pardon?
- Ross: *Kill* him.
- Harry Palmer: I'm not killing anybody in cold blood.
- Ross: Then provoke him, if that's going to satisfy your scruples.
- Harry Palmer: Inspector Reinhardt - do you find me physically attractive? Irresistible? I mean, if you saw me in the street, would you throw yourself at my feet?
- Reinhardt: Corporal Palmer...
- Reinhardt: [examines the Dorf passport given him by Palmer] Oh ja, I was told about Dorf, but I didn't know it was you... I should have guessed - so crooked, they had to put you in Intelligence.
- Harry Palmer: It was my sex appeal, actually.
- Johnny Vulkan: [dropping Palmer off to cross into East Berlin] Remember, you're Edmund Dorf.
- Harry Palmer: How can I forget?
- Johnny Vulkan: You have the address?
- Harry Palmer: Yep... and my Luger pistol, and my cyanide pills and my inflatable Batman suit.
- Harry Palmer: Ah, there is something else, sir.
- Ross: Yes, what is it?
- Harry Palmer: That 800-Pound loan, without interest, to buy my own car.
- Ross: [after a sufficient pause] Yes.
- Harry Palmer: [a bit confused] "Yes," I want it? Or "yes," I can have it?
- Ross: [sounding disgusted] Yes, everything they say about you is true. Get out of here. Go back to Berlin.
- Harry Palmer: [as he turns and leaves] Don't care much for Berlin, sir. You're liable to get your head shot off.
- Ross: That's what you're paid for, isn't it, Palmer?
- Harry Palmer: Yes, sir.
- Ross: [final lines] You might make a professional yet, Palmer.
- Harry Palmer: I'm glad you think so.
- Ross: That loan you wanted to buy a car, how much was it?
- Harry Palmer: 800 Pounds. Why?
- Ross: Well, I think you've earned it.
- Harry Palmer: [slight pause] No thank you, sir. I'll walk.
- [turns and walks out]
- Harry Palmer: Do you mean that Her Majesty's government employs ex-Nazis, sir?
- Ross: [referring to Palmer himself] And thieves, Palmer.
- Hallam: Have a cup of tea. Darjeeling!
- Harry Palmer: No thanks. I've gotta' go.
- [heads for the door]
- Hallam: Give my love to Berlin! I was there with Monty in '45.
- Harry Palmer: [turns and gives him a deadpan look] So that's why the Germans surrendered.
- Colonel Stok: [after Harry has seen through some deliberate lies that Stok was testing him with] I like you, English. You're not as stupid as you look. I wanted to see how well you were trained.
- Harry Palmer: "Train hard, fight easy."
- Colonel Stok: Ahh, you quote Marshall Suvorov! Bravo!
- Colonel Stok: If you won't help me, I'll go to the Americans.
- Harry Palmer: [showing indifference] Why don't you go to the Americans? They have more money.
- Colonel Stok: Ah! Who wants to live in America? They are just Russians in pressed trousers. Revolutionaries gone decadent.
- Harry Palmer: All right. I'll make my report to London. I'll tell them that you talk well - and lie badly.
- Samantha Steel: You with the Press convention?
- Harry Palmer: No, I'm in... underwear.
- Samantha Steel: Oh, kinky! I'm in the trade, too.
- Johnny Vulkan: [In a nightclub, Vulcan introduces his attractive date to Palmer] Monica, this is Edmund Dorf.
- Monica: [she leans forward, looking very provocative] I *like* England.
- Harry Palmer: [Palmer, deadpan, looks her over] England likes you.
- Colonel Stok: What's the matter, you in trouble? Ross won't shoot you for failing once - it's not democratic!
- Hallam: Show them to any Swiss banker, he'll laugh in your face. Beautiful forgeries... but on the wrong paper.
- Hallam: I hope you'll appreciate this. One of my lads stayed on till two in the morning to get this ready for you.
- [hands Harry his cover passport, with his new name on it]
- Harry Palmer: [Harry looks at it, obviously disappointed] "Dorf"?
- Hallam: What's wrong with that?
- Harry Palmer: [sounding displeased] "Edmund Dorf"?
- Hallam: All the best Englishmen have foreign names. Much more convincing.
- Harry Palmer: I'm sorry, I just don't feel like an "Edmund Dorf".
- Hallam: Charming. What *do* you feel like?
- Harry Palmer: [thinks for a second] "Rock Hunter." Can't I be "Rock Hunter"?
- Hallam: No. You aren't the type. You'll take what you get.
- Johnny Vulkan: [as Palmer arrives in Berlin] Harry Palmer, it's good to see you.
- Harry Palmer: You too, you old Kraut.
- Colonel Stok: [offering Palmer a cup of tea] As usual, there is no milk today.
- Harry Palmer: And so Russian tea was invented.
- Harry Palmer: [coming back with Samantha Steel to find her apartment ransacked] You've been burgled!... Guess what? We'll have a drink, and then I'll help you clear up.
- Hallam: Uh, I, I seem to have run short of cigarettes.
- Harry Palmer: [offers his] Do you want a French one?
- Hallam: [with distaste] No. Never mind.
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