- Insp. Ruff: Well, well well, it seems the bird has flown, eh? So, we've got a right lot of names for our adress book. Take them down, sergeant. Oh, Charlie, no phone numbers, eh?
- Police sergeant: No, sir.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: What are you staring at?
- Barry Ovis: You. I'm shatterd at your behaviour.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Knickers.
- Barry Ovis: That's all you think of.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Bringing two girls to the same flat in one night for immoral purporses. I'm not even married yet and I'd die rather than bring one. The mind boggles.
- Barry Ovis: Oh f... boggle off.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: [on a public phone] Ah, hello, Birdie, this is your Cockie here, safely back in who's little nest?
- Lady 'Birdie' Mannering-Brown: If you mean: did I get home safely, the answer is yes.
- Insp. Ruff: I'm sorry, Miss, thought the place was empty. Inspector Ruff, p'lice.
- Jean: Why?
- Insp. Ruff: Why? It's a good steady job.
- Jean: Well, that inspector's gone. The're still not sure it was you at that orgy, so I suppose I'd better go out and buy you a false moustache. I suppose you don't recall how you lost that, either?
- Jean: Well, I went into the cloakroom, with a... a girl, when the police raid came I panicked and had it off in 10 seconds flat.
- Jean: What?
- Barry Ovis: My moustache, with a razor, so as not to be recognized.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: My God, but you're beautiful... You are beautiful.
- Giselle Parkyn: You only just noticed that?
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: No, no, the first time I set eyes on you, it was love at first sight, Jeanette.
- Giselle Parkyn: Giselle.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: What's in a name?
- Giselle Parkyn: Nothing, sir.
- Giselle Parkyn: Is something the matter?
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Yeah, I slipped a disc. Now don't panic.
- Giselle Parkyn: I'm not.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: All I need is a sharp blow, there, with the side of the hand. A karate chop.
- Giselle Parkyn: This is going to be a swinging evening.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Don't swing too hard. A short sharp blow is best.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: [Searching for his pajama trousers in bed] Who's pinched my bottoms?
- Giselle Parkyn: I have.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: [catching Ruff and Giselle in bed together] Inspector Ruff, Mavis!
- Giselle Parkyn: Monica.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: I'm so shocked, I shall forget my own name, next.
- Insp. Ruff: Take me to a cup of coffe.
- Police sergeant: Right Sir. If you don't mind my saying so, sir, Your flies are undone.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: I'm a sick man.
- Wendy: You're not dying?
- [presses his face to her bosom]
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Oh, I need some mountain air.
- Wendy: Aah!
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: I thought I'd, eh nose around the Himalayas.
- Barry Ovis: [Barry burst in through the door] Hurry up! Please don't make a meal of it.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Now get some clothes on, quickly.
- Barry Ovis: I haven't any. I moved them all yesterday back to my own flat. And I lost my wedding suit at that... eh... party.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: He'll lose his birthday suit, next.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: If the detective finds you here, we may be in trouble, but so are you. You get a long stretch for kidnapping and blackmail, so get under the bed.
- Angie: But I'm allways under the bed.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Well play your cards right, you could work your way up.
- Insp. Ruff: You were a long time answering the doorbell, sir.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: I did'nt hear it the first four times.
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: [Inspector Ruff is chasing Barry through the house] That way.
- Insp. Ruff: Really? Then I'm going back this way.
- [runs back in the direction he came from]
- Sir William Mannering-Brown: Damn. He plays poker.