The Snoop Sisters

I remember the Alice Cooper episode very well. He sang "Sick Things". Quite an unexpected treat for young Cooper fans.

Long before Angela Lansbury brightened TV screens as the mystery writing sleuth of "Murder, She Wrote," Helen Hayes, the first lady of the American theater, joined forces with film veteran Mildred Natwick to solve crimes as "The Snoop Sisters," one of four rotating segments during the second season of The NBC Wednesday Mystery Movie.

"The Snoop Sisters" had rather obvious roots in Agatha Christie's Miss Marple mysteries but also tried to be a senior citizen revamping of "McMillan and Wife," which was the product of the same producers. Hayes and Natwick are delightful, but for obvious reasons a show starring two aged performers lacked the slam-bang action that viewers might have preferred in the cop heavy atmosphere of the 1973-74 TV season.

Lacking the wit or clever plotting of "Columbo," this series never got off the ground. Even a guest appearance by then red-hot rocker Alice Cooper in one episode failed to enliven the proceedings. After four 90 minute episodes, "The Snoop Sisters" joined the rest of The NBC Wednesday (and at midseason, Tuesday) Mystery Movie segments ("Banacek," "Tenafly," and "Faraday and Company") on the trash heap of cancelled programs.

"The Snoop Sisters" starred Helen Hayes, Mildred Natwick, Lou Antonio, and Bert Convy. Unfortunately, it never attracted an audience. Like the later, much better "Ellery Queen," it was about ten years too early. The golden ager TV boom - the breakout hits "The Golden Girls" and "Murder, She Wrote" didn't happen until a decade later.

"The Snoop Sisters" sported some fabulous guest stars and was silly as all get-out. Because it was forced into a 90-minute time slot, it seems slow. The obviousness of the murders on "Murder, She Wrote," didn't stop it from becoming a hit, however, so it's unlikely that was the real problem with "The Snoop Sisters." Like MSW, it relied heavily on style instead of substance and taken on that basis, it was an entertaining series.

With formidable and adorable stars like Hayes and Natwick, it's a shame that this series appeared on TV when it did. Timing, as they say, is everything.

Most television afficionados know about the detective series, "Murder, She Wrote." It starred the great leading lady of Broadway and star of many films, Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher, an author of mystery novels who found herself entangled every week in some grisly homicide in and around the otherwise pleasant and picturesque town of Cabot Cove, Maine. But, long before Ms. Fletcher sat down at her typewriter, we had these two: The Snoop Sisters.

This show was part of the rotating set of programs under the umbrella title "NBC Tuesday Mystery Movie" which was a different group of shows from their "Sunday Mystery Movie" which had the bigger names and more successful series, like Peter Falk as "Columbo" and Rock Hudson and Susan Saint James as "MacMillan and Wife."

It was extremely rare for a woman to be the lead character in a detective related series, back in 1973. But having TWO women (especially of an advancing age) made this program just that much more unique.

Both of these crones were writers, with Ernesta Snoop (Helen Hayes) being the mystery novelist and Gwendolyn Snoop (Mildred Natwick) being a poet and co-author of Ernesta's stories. They lived up to their surnames by sticking their noses where the NYPD were supposed to be working (and they had a nephew who was a Lieutenant on the force who fed them info, played by Bert Convy).

There was plenty of humor, as the sisters were shuttled around town to various crime scenes in their old fashioned jalopy, piloted by their chauffeur, Barney, played by Lou Antonio, hounded and harassed Lieutenant Steve until they got the facts they needed to crack the case and they always kept things high class and appropriate. They hardly ever threw a punch or held a gun!

Either the New York Cops were especially inept at their detective work in the mid nineteen-seventies, or these ladies were that much better at using their authoring skills to figure out the motives and the M. O.s of the criminals and solved the case long before the police. And of course Hayes and Natwick were just funny, fun and brilliant to watch, with all of their experience in acting for decades, and the predicaments they found themselves having to negotiate. I have to think Ms. Lansbury took a page from their mystery book when playing the part of her amateur investigator on that other series, which makes this series very notable, indeed.

An inferior attempt to make an American version of Miss Marple combined with slap-stick comedy that made The Three Stooges look sophisticated. What did poor Helen Hays do to end up in this gawdawful drek?

One of the worst offenders, by far, is the character of their chauffeur and minder--a retired bead cop who sounds like he came out of central casting in the 1920s--who was hired by their sisters' nephew to keep them out of trouble. He lectures them multiple times to be good little girls and to do what he says--like they're naughty little children rather than competent adults. If he had been competent as a cop, I could almost forgive him. Instead, he's one of the primary slap-stick offenders.

Of course, women can't drive, especially not elderly women. This "Joke" is slapped into the audience's face multiple times.

Really, I cannot imaging why anyone would think this was a worthwhile effort. The writers and director should have been ashamed. I finished the pilot episode only out of curiosity, not because I thought it was worth while. (As it happens, it wasn't worth it.)