Invasion of the Blood Farmers

A young couple run into a deadly rural Blood Cult. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a guy named Jim Carrey (yes, that's the characters name.)

Written and directed by the guys that gave you "Shreik of the Mutilated", "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is one of those really bad but hilarious cheap independent horror movies that came before the likes of "Halloween" changed the way horror is done. Much like "Mutilated" and "The Corpse Grinders", you can't help but laugh at the proceedings.

The acting is bad (when is it not in these kinds of horror movies?), the cult wears garb that looks like something a Klansman would wear, the movie is rarely coherent, and yet, you never feel bored while you watch it. It's the kind of horror movie that is insanely bad, yet is bad in an enjoyable way.

Fun fact: There was a great Doom Metal band named "Blood Farmers" named after this (well, yeah), who are worth checking out.

INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS deserves a 10 for the title alone. Unfortunately, as great a "bad" movie as it is, the film doesn't live up to its amazing title. There are some brilliant moments here and there that transcend cinematic reality or just plain reality but the film is too casual about everything and the fantastically brilliant "bad" moments are too far in-between to make this another PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. There is some gore for gorehounds. There's a very goofy story and set-up for those who love unintentional comedies. There some really bad acting for those who love watching nobodies make fools of themselves. There's some nudity for those who need that in order to be entertained. The film also has a great "local" atmosphere to it that no movie made in Hollywood can recreate. And the ending has to be seen to be believed. But I wasn't amused by it as much as I expected to be with a film with such a sensational title. It's fun but you need to press the fast forward button from time to time.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

Invasion of the Blood Farmers sure is a great title; shame that this trashy slice of '70s schlock doesn't live up to it. Written by Ed Adlum and Ed Kelleher, who also scripted the equally impressive sounding Shriek of the Mutilated (1974), IOTBF is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds, the wooden performances, clumsy direction (also by Adlum), dreadful editing, and dire script adding up to a rather painful 84 minutes of amateurish drivel.

The premise for the film is that a group of druids (known as the Sangroids) are abducting and killing people in their search for the blood-type that can revive their queen (Cynthia Fleming). Over the course of the movie, several victims are drained of their blood before the druids finally target pretty blonde Jenny Anderson (Tanna Hunter), daughter of scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley); her blood turns out to be just the ticket, and it is up to fiancé Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) to rescue his love from the druids before they can complete their ritual.

There is, admittedly, a little fun to be had from the film's sheer ineptitude: laughable scenes include Jim Carrey's tongue waggling death scene (no, not THAT Jim Carrey), the death of Jenny's dog Buster (the animal turns into a flokati rug as druid Agon kills it), and a rocky start for soon-to-be-dead newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Greenman, hubby Milton opting to take a long shower rather than see to his young wife (Lucy Grant), who waits eagerly on the bed in sexy underwear. But as unintentionally funny as these moments are, they cannot adequately compensate for the lifelessness and shoddiness of everything else.

Which fan of horror and exploitation could honestly say that they don't enjoy goofy Z-grade horror flicks from the 70s with a budget near zero from time to time. "Invasion Of The Blood Farmers" of 1972 is a god-awful film, of course, and fails entirely as a Horror movie. It is an awesome unintentional comedy, however, though the 'unintentional' is doubtable, since it seems as everyone involved in the film, especially director Ed Adlum, was very aware of the fact that they were not exactly filming a masterpiece, and the folks were just having a heck of a time on the set of the "Blood Farmers".

The story is extremely far-fetched, which contributes a lot to the fun-factor. The film is basically about a bunch of hicks, farmers from New York State who also happen to be members of a bizarre druid cult...

This is, of course a quite promising storyline if you're into the really trashy stuff. The performances are almost incomparably awful, which is no surprise regarding the fact that none of the actors were ever involved in another movie. What "Invasion of The Blood Farmers" provides is pure fun. Unfortunately, the movie also has several periods of pure boredom in-between. The awful performances, as well as the film-making that sometimes seems intentionally amateurish, provide good laughs throughout the film. Once again, if you're interested in any form of suspense whatsoever, this film should be avoided! This is strictly reserved for my fellow lovers of hilarious super-cheap cult-trash. In case you like awful cinema every now and then, I recommend to enjoy this zero-budget film and have a great time.