- Mr. Kessel: [seeing Miss Devine's heavily-loaded grocery bag] Ahhhh, Fraulein! Soooo much to eat for such a little girl
- Dawn Divine: [giggling] I have no willpower!
- Sarge: [seeing that Miss Devine is exiting the booth that he was planning to go into] Hey - - what're you doing in there?
- Dawn Divine: [flashing a bright mischievous smile and replying in a pretend furtive whisper] Robbing a bank!
- [the Attorney shows his bodyguard the empty safety deposit box]
- Bodyguard: I don't belive it! $830,000... gone. How?
- Attorney: [stammering] I... I don't know. It's just...
- Bodyguard: What are we going to tell Vegas?
- Attorney: Whatever you tell them, they're not gonna belive it. I know those guys. They're killers. If you tell them the money's gone, stolen, or we got ripped off... they're gonna think we stole it.
- Bodyguard: What do we do now?
- Attorney: Start running. Jesus... man, you can't trust a bank!
- Dawn Divine: [into a phone] Now?
- Joe Collins: [into the phone] No. The bank is crowded.
- [Joe sees the Candy Man standing at the register near the vault]
- Joe Collins: It's overcrowded.
- Dawn Divine: Fireworks started yet?
- [Joe sees the Candy Man walk past him and into the vault to his safety deposit box]
- Joe Collins: Uh... that'll be any minute.
- Sarge: I can't believe this. You're a heavyweight to pull off a million dollar caper, but foolish enough to get caught by a lightweight hustler like me?
- Joe Collins: Million-and-a-half, Sarge. One million and a half. That's how much that Dawn and I took from yours and the two other bank boxes.
- Sarge: Where is Dawn? Where is she?
- Joe Collins: Now?
- Sarge: Right now!
- Joe Collins: Gee, it looks like... she's where the money is!
- Customs: [during Dawn's strip-search for smuggled drugs] And the panties, please.
- Dawn Divine: [in a bewildered remonstrating tone] Now, what could I possibly hide in THERE?
- Customs: [holding up a condom] Do you know about these?
- Dawn Divine: [giving big innocent eyes] Never use 'em.
- Customs: Women hide them, you know, inside themselves. They fill them with heroin, marijuana, cocaine, pills.
- [Dawn hands over her panties]
- Customs: Now, bend over - and spread your legs. Please.
- [Customs Agent puts on a rubber glove]
- Dawn Divine: Oh my God!
- Dawn Divine: I've got no will power.
- Mr. Kessel: Good!
- Dawn Divine: So, twice a week, first shopping and then business with my private box.
- Mr. Kessel: Oh, I would give anything to see your private box.
- Dawn Divine: Mr. Kessel, all boxes are the same. You know that. Only some boxes are big and some are small.
- Dawn Divine: You are a victim of the establishment.
- Joe Collins: You're not?
- Dawn Divine: Don't be silly. I am the establishment. I'm for smoking and drinking and infidelity, money, and I go to church.
- Joe Collins: These guys are the establishment. These guys. Hidden money. Big money. That's the establishment. Right there. You're not one of 'em. You work for 'em! Everybody. Judges. Lawyers. Politicians. Even the banks. They work for 'em. All of us! We're all working for them.
- Joe Collins: Look. Just one time, if you could, please, just get it straight.
- Dawn Divine: I love it straight.
- Dawn Divine: What's your name? John?
- [Candy Man nods his head yes]
- Dawn Divine: Good. I like Johns. I know a lot of Johns, only not one of them is really named John.
- Dawn Divine: Get somebody else. I'm a born loser.
- Joe Collins: Ah, now come on, I want you.
- Dawn Divine: But, I'm not lucky.
- Joe Collins: Sometimes when people are unlucky by themselves, they're lucky together.
- Joe Collins: Just take your time, George. Take your time.
- Mr. Kessel: There's no time to take our time.
- Dawn Divine: He could have killed me too, you know?
- Joe Collins: That's right.
- Dawn Divine: I hate him!
- Joe Collins: Waste of time!
- Dawn Divine: I don't care! I could kill him!
- Joe Collins: Hey, stealing's a business, not a crusade.
- Sarge: [in an irritable voice as he disgustedly watches the Candy Man lean back and forth and crane his neck in various directions and climb around to look on different sides of the closet walls and tap the panelling with his knuckles] What're ya BUILDIN'?
- [the battered and bloodied Candy Man enters while the Sarge is beating up the Major over the stolen money]
- Candy Man: Let him go! He doesn't have the money.
- Sarge: What do you know about it?
- Candy Man: My box got hit too.
- Sarge: You're kidding! All 'em boxes at the bank got hit?
- Candy Man: Not all.
- Sarge: Only us?
- Candy Man: People like us.
- Sarge: What the hell do I have to do with you? Look at yourself! You're up shit creek without a paddle.
- Candy Man: You're in the same boat.
- Sarge: Not me! I'm not connected with you in any way.
- Candy Man: Can you go to the police and report it? Huh?
- Major: He's right.
- Sarge: You shut up! The Candy Man's right. Whoever it was, if we can't call a cop... neither can they. Okay, Mr. Candy Man, you're the brains here. Who?
- [the Candy Man suddenly sees a photo of Dawn Divine and the Sarge together and he recognizes her]
- Candy Man: When we know how... we'll know who.
- [with the Candy Man and the Major looking on, Sarge is on the phone with Mr. Kessell trying to get Joe's home address]
- Sarge: [into the phone; cheerful tone] So anyway, I go to the hotel to get my baggage and it isn't here.
- [pause]
- Sarge: Yeah, those stupid mothers never put it on the connecting plane to Munich. Now get this, my address book is inside the missing suitcase. So here we are with no way to contact my old friend Joe without knowing where he lives.
- Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] His number is not listed. I don't like to give out private numbers. But if you have his phone number anyway why...
- Sarge: [into the phone; cutting Kessel off] No, no, I can't phone him because that way we can't suprise him.
- Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] Surprise him?
- Sarge: [into the phone] Yeah, it's sort of a... going away party. Didn't Joe tell you anything?
- Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] I only know that tomorrow is his last day at the bank. All right.
- Sarge: [into the phone as he writes down the address] Yeah, go ahead. Fifty-six, what? Uh... yeah, I got it. Well, thanks a million pal. Good bye.
- [Sarge hangs up and then rises to his feet to face the Candy Man and the Major]
- Sarge: [serious tone] Let's go to a surprise party.
- [Sarge has his gun on Joe in the train cabin]
- Sarge: [as he takes away Joe's suitcase] Stay where you are! Up! You ought to be ashamed at yourself. Jesus, boy... you work for the bank! You're supposed to protect their money!
- [feels around the suitcase]
- Sarge: All right, where's the key?
- [Joe laughs slightly]
- Sarge: The key!
- Joe Collins: [continuing to laugh] Uh... you're not going to believe this...
- Sarge: That's right!
- [Sarge pulls out a switchblade knife and cuts into the suitcase cutting open a large hole, he feels inside and pulls out a bottle of champaigne and throws the suitcase back at Joe who has stopped laughing]
- Sarge: Count it!
- Joe Collins: Well, I know how much there is. Your share is...
- [Joe is suprised when he pulls out of the cut open suitcase crumbled newspaper with fish wrapped up in it]
- Joe Collins: Uh... Sarge? We've been had!
- Sarge: Shut up.
- Joe Collins: As I said, your share of this is around $765,000.
- Sarge: Shut up!
- Joe Collins: What? You think I lugged this goddamn thing across Germany just for the exercise?
- Sarge: SHUT UP!
- Dawn Divine: Terrific! Rob one, rob 'em all! Rob the banks! Rob all the banks! Right on!
- Joe Collins: Wait a minute.
- Dawn Divine: Revolution! Woodstock!
- Joe Collins: Are you finished?
- Dawn Divine: Ho Chi Minh and a bottle of gin! Whoops!
- Joe Collins: Are you finished?
- Dawn Divine: Power to the people.
- Joe Collins: Finished?
- Dawn Divine: Finished.
- Dawn Divine: I might be ignorant, but, I'm not stupid.
- Joe Collins: Wait a minute, did I say you were stupid? I'm not even sure you're ignorant.
- Dawn Divine: Well, I am.
- Dawn Divine: Oh! Oh! Oh, God. Um! Wow.
- Joe Collins: Is it all right?
- Dawn Divine: Oh, yeah! Hey, do you think there's any connection between crime and sex?
- Sarge: I got a proposition for you. Equals. Partners. You take us to the broad, we divide the loot. 70 - 30.
- Sarge: Oh, boy. That is really something. Huh! When a Kraut junkie don't even trust the United States frickin' Army! Oh, that is really something.
- Mr. Kessel: [almost hysterically at the thought of Joe's being locked inside the vault all night] Fraulein SCHMIDT!
- Fraulein Schmidt: [in calm cheerfulness] Yes, Sir?
- Mr. Kessel: Ze KEECE!
- Fraulein Schmidt: [holding up the small keyring in naive confidence] Don't vorry, Sir - - I have zhem!
- Mr. Kessel: [incoherently manipulating his lips in desperation at being at a loss for words or ideas] Ze keece only open ze lock from INSIDE ZE VAULT!