The Return of Count Yorga

This film, while solid for the most part, reminds me of a scene from "Columbo", where one character says to the detective "an exciting meal has been ruined!". That's the way I felt about this film, and they say a poor ending can hurt a film, and I must agree here. While this may seem like a negative review, there's things that I did like, such as Robert Quarry's performance, and the creepy mansion in which he resides, with a bunch of slick dark rooms, and skinny stairs. Look for some familiar faces in a very young Craig T. Nelson, Mariette Hartley, Michael Pataki, and Rudy De Luca. On the other hand, there's Philip Frame, who plays Tommy, and he may be the worst actor I've ever seen, and I'm not surprised that he only has 1 more acting credit after this film. That kid also deserved that good smack, the little jerk. One of the most disappointing aspects for me is that Tommy doesn't get his just desserts he richly deserved, but that's all I'll spoil for you. There's more good scenes than bad scenes, but the bad ones almost defy vampire logic, and really hurt the film for me.

Ah, the seventies. Don't you miss 'em? Even the trash had class. This sequel is even jocular than the original but any laughter soon becomes forced as director Kelljan seems to have an unnerving understanding of evil, creating a disquieting atmosphere which borders on verite and never relaxes it's disturbing grip. Great photography of swamplands. There is one really distressing scene with a mute housekeeper who is unable to scream upon discovery of multiple murder. She is also unable to articulate the evil of a boy she knows is lying about the death of his parents. It's a great performance. The film also features Mariette Hartley, an actress who was once tipped for the top but never quite managed it, through no fault of her own. The scenes where this women of a sweet Christian nature is stalked by a harem of taunting vampires and trapped by Yorga himself are strongly performed. Hard to know what this film's attitude to life and religion is though, although an early speech by Yorga gives hints (being a predator is not morally pernicious), it just has this odd atmosphere.

Quarry is great and has the best line in dry wit. While attending an orphanage party he finds himself by a piano with a kid banging away on the keys. "Do you like Beethoven, mister?" he asks. "When played well", Yorga disdainfully replies. Great stuff. How Yorga's man servant continues to do his job so well in this film is something of a mystery. He was killed in the first one.

As far as I can tell, Count Yorga was created to cash in on the then-popular monster frenzy created by DARK SHADOWS. In fact, the actor who plays Count Yorga must think he's in an episode of DARK SHADOWS, delivering his lines with pompous seriousness("I have the power to destroy you (dramatic pause)or let you go," he tells a petrified Mariette Hartley)There isn't much of a plot here: Count Yorga terrorized the faculty and students of a school for hearing impaired children, including teacher Hartley, whom Count Yorga has a yen for. Plots holes are covered by lots of early seventies-era quick cuts and camera angles, which serve more to make the narrative flow unintelligible. As bad as that is, the real horror is seeing Yorga's coterie of female vampires, as low-rent a bunch as you'll come across(which is saying something, since AIP, ultimate purveyors of the quickie horror film, put this out). With their dime store lingerie, plastic Halloween vampire fangs, and hideously teased hair, you fully believe the victims they chase aren't have as much concerned with becoming unwilling members of the undead as they are being seen in the company of these fashion disasters. Flicks like this make me mourn the demise of Mystery Science Theater 3000. So many bad movies like this left to diss, so little time . . .

In many respects, this film is a superior to the original Count Yorga, Vampire. Robert Quarry returns as the charming, sophisticated vampire that lives by an orphanage. His performance is wonderful as he matches witty remarks to dull conversation. At one point, as he attends a costume party, one lady touches his cape and asks where his fangs are. Quarry replies in a very sardonic manner, "Where are your manners?" That is but just one of his great one-liners. The real difference though between this and the first film is the unrelenting horror and tension created by director Bob Kelljan(and the fact that the budget and supporting cast were upgraded a good deal as well). Some of the scenes are truly frightening, especially the onslaught of the house by the horde of female bloodsuckers. The castle-like home used for Yorga's lair is also breath-taking and chilling in its baronial splendour. The acting aside from Quarry is first-rate this time around. Roger Perry is back as a Van Helsing type, but he is suitably aided by Mariette Hartley, Rudy DeLuca, Craig Nelson, and a fine performance by Yvonne Wilder as a deaf mute. Screen veteran George MacCready has a very small role as a professor, but his short screen time is a joy to behold as he adds comic relief to this somewhat black comedic film, verbally confusing Yorga to yoga. An excellent film!

The Count is back, without any apparent explanation of how he survived the events of the first film. But who cares, eh? All that matters is that, mere minutes into "The Return of Count Yorga," vampire women emerge from their graves to stalk a poor little boy. The action starts quick in this one, folks! It's a bit scary…it's a bit erotic…and it's even a bit good.

In fact, "Return of Count Yorga" is almost good enough to eclipse its predecessor, but the middle act unfortunately sags and the conclusion feels too much like a retread. Still, there is plenty of great material here, including a harrowing attack segment on a house full of people and a memorable final chase through the narrow corridors of Yorga's mansion. Quarry is again smooth and super-cool as the Count; I love the way he effortlessly mingles with, and insults, the stupid townspeople at their costume party.

The film takes a stab at philosophy by allowing Yorga to have a "romance" with Cynthia (played by the lovely Mariette Hartley – what a nice voice she has), but this storyline basically reaches a dead end. They have one interesting conversation about their world views over punch at the party, and that's it. The notion of a vampire in love was explored more deeply (and more to my satisfaction) in "Subspecies II," one of my favorite horror movies of recent times.

Nevertheless, "Return of Count Yorga" should be applauded for being experimental, as this kind of movie goes. In many respects, it's a more thoughtful and engaging film than the first Yorga, but it's also more uneven. Anyway, fans of classic movies/actors should watch out for George Sanders in a cameo role as a loopy vampire expert who expounds upon the inherent difficulties of assuming yoga positions. Like the movie as a whole, Sanders' lone scene is very strange, but certainly worth seeing.